Murtha Quote About the ‘Surge’ Was Completely Misunderstood.

Well as many bloggers now know, U.S. Representative John Murtha stated yesterday that after his trip to Iraq, he now thinks that “the ‘surge’ is working.”   See (Murtha:  Surge is Working) This from a man who has stated in the past that we are failing in Iraq and that we are dellusional to think we can ever win, etc..

So how can we reconcile these seemingly opposite opinions?  Well, I have contracted some staff members from a little known organization called S.C.U.D. or (Spin like Clinton Until you Die).  These guys are great–they look at the story within the story to find the truth behind the words spoken by prominent Democrats.  These were they guys that told Clinton to question the meaning of “is”–brilliant.  So I hired them and they have determined that Murtha has in fact been taken out of context.  Of course he did not mean that the “troop surge” is working, his words had a deeper meaning.

As you know, Mr. Murtha is not a young man.  Recently he has been having some, well, issues that needed to be addressed.  While in Iraq he tried to help his problem in a couple of ways.  First he tried hauling two bathtubs up to a hillside view of the Persian Gulf but that didn’t work:

Then he tried watching some old, but bad, Bo Derek movies like this classic gem:

But alas, that did not work either.  Then he heard of a soft drink that was discontinued in 2001 but because Iraq’s government is so “dysfunctional” Iraq just got in a “new” shipment.  That softdrink is:

A little known fact about “Surge” told to Mr. Murtha by a kindly local farmer (who has 19 wives and is 98 years old) is that it was developed in Norway under this original label:

By golly, once old jolly Murtha heard about it he rushed out and drank an entire case.  Later that day, after a lovely dinner at the farmer’s home and a few hours of entertainment it was time for the interview wherein, Mr. Murtha said (in its entirety)

Holy Jihad, that Surge is definitely working!

Thanks to SCUD for helping us all rest easy and know that Murtha is still the giant liberal wack-job he always was and that someone should bring back “Surge.”

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