“Democrats Gaining Ground” and Other Ridiculous Notions

Posted October 5, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: Congress, Current Events, Democrats, election, Fascism, Government, Health Care, Humor, News, Obama, Politics, Socialism, Tea Party

Despite a report today on Gallup that Republicans will likely win big next month, despite weeks of poll numbers showing Democrats losing in numerous races across the Country in National, State and Local elections, despite all of that data and the common sense of every living person in the Nation, I was stunned to open my home page at msn.com this morning to find an article making the claim that Democrats are gaining ground in various polls.

Let’s review the tactics to win this election by the Democrats since March:

1.  Republican’s ideas are the same as Bush’s ideas and those are the “failed policies of the past.”

2.  Republicans are desperately trying to demonize the President because he is decisive and is bringing about change that is good for our Nation.

3.  Republicans are racists.

4. Republicans have given in to the fringe right of the Tea Party and want to take us back to the age of slavery, put women back in the home, outlaw abortion and feed their rich friends while stomping on the poor.

5.  Republicans are racists.

6.  The economy is Bush’s fault, who was a Republican, and but for Obama, we would be way worse off–like way, way.

7.  Republicans are elitists, bigots, homophobes and oh yeah, racists.

and now….

8.  Democrats are gaining ground and Fox News has been falsely hyping Republican victories, which are way over-exaggerated–like way, way.

This is the most amusing tactic yet.  Instead of telling America why Democrat philosophy is better for us than Republican philosophy, or telling us what their plan is for actually fixing the economy–they are simply trying to smoke screen the truth–yet again.  Unfortunately for Democrats, the truth is all to evident in this new information age with easy access to Rasmussen polls and Gallup polls online.  Sorry, Democrats, but you are still losing.

The idea that Democrats might actually not lose a tremendous number of incumbents in November is about as true as the following metaphorically similar statements (you may notice each of these came from the same person–can you guess who?):

1.  The Health Care Bill Will Not Increase The Deficit By One Dime. (thank goodness)

2.  The Healthcare Package Will Pay For Itself. (that’s cool–so it’s like installing better windows for your house–so that in say 500 years, you will have made up the cost in the tiny savings each month in your electric bill–okay, great)

3.  We Have Run Out of Places in The US to Drill For Oil.  (I figured all of those oil rigs in West Texas were just landscape art–I knew it)

4.  I Will Not Rest Until The BP Oil Spill Stops.  (I thought he looked really tired when he played golf those um, 7 times).

5. I Have Visited All 57 States.  (So, I called Continental Airlines and asked for their flight routes to the other 7 States and they said I was crazy–Thank Goodness they are merging with United–hopefully they have routes to those places.)

6. My Church Is Like Any Other Christian Church. (I guess my church isn’t a Christian church after all–my heavens, what have I been worshiping!!!!????!!!)

Seriously!

-Murphy

9/11-Never Forget (Repost from 2008)

Posted September 11, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1, Current Events, Fascism, Government, Iraq, Life, Military, News, Patriotism, Terrorists

 

I have heard recently discussions on talk radio about whether or not we should continue to spend time today remembering the tragedies or should we simply “move on.”  I’m no psychologist, but I don’t know how you ever “move on” from having thousands of innocent American murdered by individuals bent on destroying our entire Country and way of life.  I don’t know how you “move on” from seeing people jump 90+ stories to their death to avoid being burned alive.  I don’t know how you “move on” from watching a plane live on TV purposely crash into a skyscraper in our largest city during the beginning of a work day.  I don’t know how you “move on” from learning of the story of the brave passengers of United 93 and their suicidal attack on the terrorists that ultimately saved our Capitol Building from being destroyed.

From my 38 years of experience I have learned that “sticking your head in the sand” is an ineffective way of dealing with anything.  If I was the producer of a major network news station I would replay the video footage of the events on the evening news every 9/11 that I remain on this Earth to remind us that there is a purpose in having a strong military, that there is a purpose in having a national defense strategy, that there is a purpose in making sure we know something about the immigrants who come into our Country, that there are a large group of human beings whose religious beliefs dictate their desire to destroy our Country.  We can send dipolmats and politicians and Johnny Depp and Jimmy Carter to as many “peace talks” as will make us feel all warm and fuzzy but the reality of 9/11 is that we will always be the enemy to these people becuase we don’t have the same beliefs that they do and because we are allied with Israel (as we should be).

When I heard the replay of the news report this morning of the towers being hit I could not help but shed tears once again.  When I remember that day it reminds me that our brave men and women fighting in the middle east are fighting for a purpose.  We need allies and stability in that region.  They are not going to come from Iran, Syrian, Jordan, Yemen, UAE, Egypt, Turkey, or any other country that hates Israel.  So establishing a democracy in Iraq and establishing stability will hopefully avoid a future 9/11 or at least put it off for a very long time.

I hope you are remembering 9/11 today and I hope that you are proud to live in the best Country in the world.  The next time you want to just get in your car and drive to the lake, or the hills, or the mountains, or the beach and stop and eat at any of a million chioces and stay at any number of hotels, I hope then that you remember that freedom is something worth fighting for–and thank God we live in a free Country.

 -Murphy

 P.S.–It is not a coincidence that Osama bin Laden is mad at the Democrats for not stopping the war.  Democrats want to bring the troops home and so does Osama–I guess we know how he would vote in ’08 if he was here.

Quran: To Burn or Not To Burn—Is That The Question?

Posted September 8, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1, Current Events, Democrats, God, Government, Life, Military, News, Patriotism, Politics, Terrorists, Thoughts on the World

Am I the only person shocked at the MASS of news coverage this is getting?  I am sitting in an Airport in Charleston, West Virginia and I have had the unfortunate pleasure of watching CNN for an hour and I think that 58 minutes of that hour was spent covering this issue.  They have had “religious experts” on and other similarly-situated goof-balls talking about this scheduled event.  So after trying to ignore this story, I have been forced to consider its relevance and ask myself what I think about the idea of burning 200+ Qurans on 9/11.  And I gotta say it brought up a lot of other issues.

But let’s start with the first issue–Burn?  or Not Burn?   Personally, I think that burning Qurans is a savage-like form of protesting and is being done for no other reason than to incite anger in others.  That said, do I think he has the right to burn them?–You betcha.  Do I agree with this form of “protest” or “statement?”  No, but I must say that all of this talk on television and blogs about whether Pastor Jones should be prohibited from burning them makes me think of similar situations that were treated with much more tolerance.  And after all democrats, isn’t “tolerance” one of your favorite words?  Shouldn’t you be just as “tolerant” of this activity as say:

The burning of American Flags?

Why the Supreme Court in Texas vs. Johnson  in 1989 upheld every person’s constitutionaly protected right to burn American Flags.  When Congress tried to pass a law in protest of this decision making it illegal, the Supreme Court struck again and upheld its previous ruling.  Of course, the flag burning in Texas occurred at the 1984 Republican National Convention by people outside that were umm…not Republican.  Since then numerous bills have been proposed to the Constitution to make the burning of a flag illegal but alas, the bill can never seem to pass the Senate.

How about desecrating the Flag?  How about burning images of George W. Bush?  Those things are all things the left champions as “free speech.”  Isn’t burning a book, even a religious book, a form of “expression.” But wait…

What about prayer in schools?  Well of course that is offensive.

What about roadside crosses, “in God we Trust,”  creationism, Nativity scenes—-All of that is “offenisve” and there are movements to do away with such horrible icons of a predominantly Christian society.  And of course, we can’t have Bibles in Courtrooms–that is simply nuts.  These forms of expression are somehow different, they are, um…different because um….well….um…. they just are apparently.

I’m continually amazed at the onslaught against Christianity from people playing the “I’m offended” card when those same people are saying that burning a Quran is simply outrageous.  And so, here we are debating over and over whether Pastor Jones should be stopped.

Hillariously we are told by CNN that this pastor–of a church in, where is that again…Gainesville, Florida..That this pastor of a church of, how many people…oh yeah, 50, is causing an enormous amount of hatred, dissent and division in our society.

 

Really???  Could it be that our National Media is causing the division, hatred and dissent?  Could it be that but for CNN, MSNBC, FOX, CBS, ABC and NBC that this event would have largely gone unnoticed except in Gainesville, Florida?  So thank you media for causing the problem and then blaming Pastor Jones.

I have a brilliant idea–it is kind of radical.  Let’s remember the lives lost and sacrifices made on 9/11 in a different way.  Instead of causing a First Amendment battle which necessarily causes the left to become hypocritical–let’s do one or more of the following:

1.  Thank our servicemen and women everytime we see them for the incredible sacrifice they make and have made.

2.  Spend time in prayer for those families that lost loved ones 9 years ago.

3.  Never forget that the battle against terrorism is not won overnight and will need our patience, dilligence and resolve.

and for the love of all….

4.  Elect members of Congress and Presidents that respect and stand in awe of our Military and are willing to spend our tax money protecting our borders and strengthening our Armed Forces instead of taking over our domestic industry and creating billions of dollars of entitlement programs.

That would go a lot further than a burning pile of Quran embers outside of a small church in Florida.

-Murphy

Arizona’s New National Guard Troops–And Other “Fair” Fights.

Posted September 2, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Government, Immigration, Life, News, Obama, Satire

Well, it would appear that the United States Government is jumping at the chance to assist Arizona in its battle against illegal immigration.  I know, I said it… “ILLEGAL.”  I’m sorry, let me be more sensitive. 

Well, it would appear that the United States Government is jumping at the chance to assist Arizona in its quest to find an amicable solution to the issues surrounding undocumented workers that are simply trying to find a better life away from their oppressors in Mexico. 

(I just threw up in my mouth a little)

Arizona asked the government for 3,000 National Guard troops to assist them.  The response? 

30!

That’s right a whopping 30!

But that seems fair doesn’t it?  I mean there have been many battles over the years where one side outnumbered the other by such vast numbers and yet, the underdog won.

Take for example the Alamo.

Battle of the Alamo Photograph.jpg

Why that was about 200  men against about 2000 troops and after all they…oh yeah, they all perished.

Well what about the 480 B.C.Battle of Thermopylae?  There 300 Spartans and a few hundred Thespian volunteers and other fought a massive Persian army ranking in the 1000’s.  And they held firm and….oh yeah, they all perished.

Of course, there have been famous battles over the years where the underdog won.  For example, there were at least 2 major battles in the civil war where the confederacy was heavily outnumbered but won the battle nonetheless.   And after all at the end of it all…oh yeah, the Union won the war.

I have a novel idea–I know it may seem radical and crazy, but just think about it for a little bit.  Maybe the Federal Government could actually listen to the “troops on the ground” and send them what they need. 

I know, I know, I’m talking foolishness.  We all know that we are just stupid and the only person who truly knows what we need is mommy and daddy government–and especially Barack “Pookie” Obama.

How can we possibly argue with this guy?  Sorry AZ, you are on your own.

-Murphy

A Call To Ban John Cusack Films–Eh, Why Bother?

Posted September 1, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1

Well, apparently John Cusack’s need to be heard has elevated itself to new lows.  (That sentence is admittedly odd)–In any event, he went on a rampage on Twitter recently saying ” I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS.”

So, is he a Satanist and hopes that they set up headquarters at Fox News for easy access? Or does he want Satanists to kill all of these people?  Either way, weird to call on Satan for assistance in anything.  I mean, when you are looking for help in a situation, asking the father of lies for assistance seems kind of counterproductive.  But I think we get the point of his twit-tweet.

I am all for First Amendment rights.  I think people should be able to say whatever they want to say so long as it doesn’t purposely incite riots or rise to the level of defamation.  However, what the left needs to understand is that there is no Constitutional protection from the consequences your words may bring about. 

I thought about Mr. Cusack in the context of other irrelevant self-proclaimed political figures such as Barbara Streisand, Tim Robbins, Ted Danson and others and his comment ranks number one on the nasty scale.

So what are we to do?  What consequence should he suffer?  Well, the most popular consequence by either the left or the right is to boycott his artistic work.  Hmmmm….artistic work such as this?

1.  Class (1983)

 Wow–he is not even on the poster of this hideous trash.  I can boycott.

2.  Sixteen Candles

Again-not on the poster–in fact his role in this was so small I could simply shut my eyes during those portions–boycott.

3.  Grandview, U.S.A.

Okay this is ridiculous–he has been in these movies, but not big roles–and–seriously–this movie is awful.  Boycott-(mainly because it is a waste of time).
 
Don’t believe me?  Check this out:
 
 
But I digress–in a huge way.  Let’s look at the body of work where he was the “star” of the movie.
 
4.  Better Off Dead
  
 
Ummm, garbage.  Boycott.
 
5.  Hot Pursuit
 
 
Take a look:
 
 
Boycott.
 
6.  A Slew of Garbage
 
Hot Tub Time Machine (Actor and Producer); War, Inc. (huh?); Grace is Gone; The Ice Harvest; Max; 1408; Must Love Dogs; America’s Sweethearts; Pushing Tin; This is My Father; Chicago Cab; City Hall; The Road to Wellville; Bullets Over Broadway; Floundering; Money for Nothing; Map of the Human Heart; Shadows and Fog; Roadside Prophets; etc….
 
So this is an easy call–no Boycott–the public boycotts most of this already because it is not good.
 
So John, thanks for 2012 and Say Anything and maybe Martian Child, and keep ranting about Satan and the Republicans if you want to, nobody cares.
 
-Murphy

Obama Calls Bush Before Troop Speech: But why?

Posted August 31, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1, Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Fascism, Government, Iraq, Military, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Terrorists

According to the New York Post, Obama made a call to former President George W. Bush today from Air Force One while heading to Ft. Bliss to address the troops regarding the Iraq troop withdrawal.  But why would he do this?

I suppose there are various reasons but let’s examine this a little more closely.

I.  Obama’s Catch 22

In today’s speech, Obama finds himself in quite the predicament.  On the one hand he has always said that Iraq was the “wrong war.”  Further, the troop surge, according to then Senator Obama was a huge mistake.  Don’t recall that–let’s take a listen.

But wait, there’s more…In February of this year VP Biden had this to say:

Ummm….wha?

So, how will Obama tell the tale today?  He can’t blast Bush without demeaning the troops objective and essentially admitting defeat.  He can’t praise the troops for winning the war because he thinks the war is wrong.  And so…what did he and President Bush talk about.

Well, we here at MKCB have tapped into the ultra-secret phone line aboard Air Force One to bring you this exclusive phone call–here is the transcript of what we are pretty sure we heard…

[ring, ring, ring]

Bush:  Former President Bush here, miss me yet?

BO:     Umm, heh, umm, no…but umm.. anyway, sorry to bother you at home Mr. Bush, President Barack Obama here, how are you today?

Bush:  [smirking] Well, Barry I kinda thought you might call today.  I’m out at the ranch clearing some trees in the back and remembered something about a self-imposed arbitrary deadline regarding troops that you mentioned last year and figured you would be calling.  What can I do for the American people today?

BO:  Well, as you know I’m giving a speech before Ft. Bliss today and my speech writers are having trouble deciding whether I should praise myself and my leadership in bringing an end to the war, blast you again as I always enjoy doing, mention the needless loss of life in pursuit of oil and your dad’s revenge or all three.  I’m kind of nervous about it [puff, puff] and thought I’d see what you thought.

Bush:  I’d like to say I’m honored, really I’d like to…but, well, it might be a good idea to praise the troops for what they have sacrificed and accomplished, thank them and their families for their sacrifice and service, remind the world that peace in this region of the middle east is vital to our interests, remind the world that a world with out Saddam Hussein is a better world and leave it at that.  But I’m just spitballin’ here.

BO:  Well, I knew this was a waste of time.  You and your right-wing rhetoric.  The problem is I have to find a way to demonize you and the Republicans, make the Democrats look good, appease the anti-military crowd and win over the troops.  And frankly, my speech writers went to Harvard and Columbia and they are just too stupid to figure this out.

Bush:  I’d like to say I really want to help ya, I’d really like to say that…but, well, if you are calling to let me know you are going to demonize me and call me stupid again, thanks for the heads up, but I don’t see the point of this call.

BO:  I guess I just needed to do this and leak it to the press so that they would think I was somehow being nice to you right before I blast you.  Truth is, every time I’m around the military I get scared.  I’m afraid they know how much I loathe them.

Bush:  [smirking] Ohhhh, I’m sure they don’t know.  You just go up there, be yourself, and I’m sure the typical results will follow.  Your poll numbers and the stock market will go down.  Heh, heh!  Just ribbin’ ya Barry–have a great speech.

BO:  Ummm, yeah, okay I guess I…

[click]

BO:  (stupid hick)

-Murphy

Obama: “Things Could Be Worse”

Posted July 1, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: Al Gore, Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Economy, funny, Government, Humor, Nancy Pelosi, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Socialism

Okay first of all–go to minute 47 of this hour long feature film and watch for about a minute–then you are prepared to read on…

So here we have our President saying that the way we know that the stimulus worked is because things could be worse.  And, of course, if you think about it, he is right.  I mean the argument that things could be better without it makes no sense whatsoever because, um… well… it just doesn’t.  Look stop fighting the logic of this administration because you obviously misunderstand the points they are trying to make.

For example, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that unemployment checks are creating jobs.  What?  You don’t get that?  Jeez…do I have to do all the thinking around here?

You see, when unemployed people get money, they spend it.  By spending money they are buying goods that are produced by people.  By buying those goods, people have to be employed to make more.  See?  Unemployment is good for the economy.

So you still don’t get it?  Well  I’ll try and explain it by using some other examples.

  1. Al and Tipper Gore have a good marriage when Al is happy.
  2. Al gets an inappropriate massage to release his shakra so that he can be happy.
  3. Getting an inappropriate massage is good for Al and Tipper’s marriage. 

See?  No?  Let me try another one.

  1. Cooking fish in oil is healthier than cooking fish in butter
  2. BP spilled zillions of barrells of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.
  3. Fish in the Gulf are now covered with oil.
  4. Fish covered in oil can be cooked “as is.”
  5. Spilling oil into the Gulf is healthy.

It is so easy.  Okay 1 more then hopefully you will get it.

  1. Tiger Woods is worth $900 million to $1 billion dollars
  2. Tiger Woods cheated on his wife a billion times.
  3. Tiger Woods’ wife is getting $750 million in the divorce
  4. Cheating worked because her take could have been worse.

Now do you get it?  NO!!???? I give up on you guys, seriously.

-Murphy