Archive for the ‘Sports’ category

University of Texas vs. University of Oklahoma: 2009

October 16, 2009

It’s time once again for the BIG game.  Usually I spend a blog post before this and the A&M game talking some trash about the other team.  Maybe pointing out their silly traditions or the “real” definition of a “Sooner” but after watching a moving video of Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford, I couldn’t bring myself to trash them this year.  Instead, I thought the best use of this space would be to show you this video. 

Hook ’em–and…

Boomer Sooner!

-Murphy

My Most Treasured Baseball Memory

April 1, 2009

As baseball season approaches I thought I would share with you an incredible experience I had years ago.

When I was a kid, my favorite baseball player was George Brett.  I really loved watching him play–he was amazing.  From the near .400 season to the “Pine Tar Incident,” he was awesome. 

It was late one afternoon in April of 1976 when my father turned to me and said he had some exciting news. 

“I have a business trip tomorrow to Kansas City and I thought you could tag along and see a Royals game.”

I was so excited.  I was 8 years old and was going to get to see my baseball hero live and up close–a young boy’s dream was going to come true.  We left early that Friday morning, made the hour drive from El Campo, Texas to Houston, hopped on an Braniff flight to Kansas City and landed there shortly after lunch.  I went with my dad to a large office building and hung out in the lobby while he handled his meeting.  I was so excited I couldn’t stand it.

After about 30 minutes a large salt and pepper haired man approached me and asked who I was and said something like, “Are you being dad’s helper today?”  I immediately said, without any control, “I’m going to see George Brett today.”

“You are?” said the large man, “Are you going to meet him?”

“No, I’m just going to the game–but he is my favorite player and I’ve never been to his baseball field before.”

The large man paused for a few moments, smiled and bent his knees down so that his face was level to mine and after a second or so said, “How would you like to meet him and maybe even throw the ball around with him?”

I couldn’t believe it, I was standing there in disbelief at the mere thought of actually getting to toss the ball around with the great George Brett.  I began to shake from lifting my heels off the ground over and over like a sort-of half jump and said, “I would give anything.  Do you know him?”

“Turns out I do,” he said, “he is my nephew and I happen to have some dugout passes and I would love it if a young boy like yourself could get to meet his favorite player.”

He then slowly pulled out two large pieces of strong paper that said “dugout pass”

Not only was I going to get to go into the dugout, but I was also going to sit on the first row of seats right behind the dugout during the game!  I have never been so thrilled.

My dad’s meeting ended and I showed him my new prize–he had this stunned, what-kind-of-scam-have-you-pulled look on his face.  I explained what happened and he couldn’t believe it.

That evening we are headed to the stadium and I am just beaming.  We arrive inside an hour and a half early and show the passes to the attendant.  I was half certain that they were fake and we would get thrown out.  Instead they showed us down to the dugout and told us the team would be coming out in about 5 minutes. 

There I was in the KC dugout with my dad, my glove and no one else.  Suddenly the door opened and the Royals came trotting out onto the field.  Out came guys like Buck Martinez, John Mayberry, Frank White, Hal McRae, Amos Otis, Freddie Patek, Steve Busby, Andy Hassler and then George Brett.  He was like a diety walking out after a great 1975 season and primed and ready to lead the Royals to a 90 win season.  He walked over to me and said,

“My uncle says I have a visitor today–you must be the man.”  I smiled and said, “Great to meet you Mr. Brett.”  He said, “Call me George and what is your name?”  I said “Murphy Scott Klasing.”  as if I needed to tell him my entire name.

He said, “Well, Murphy Scott Klasing, I need to warm up so you want to throw me some balls?”  Did I ever, I could not believe I was getting this opportunity.  I couldn’t wait to get home and tell Tal and Michael and David and my other friends that I had played catch with George Brett.

We walked out to the field and I threw the ball and he graciously threw it softly back to me.  I was not exactly an athlete but I did love the game.  Stretching out next to where we were throwing was John Mayberry.  One one toss to George I threw so wildly that it went right by him and plunked Mr. Mayberry on the back of his neck.  He jumped up, spun around and said, “what the ___ was that?” 

Needless to say I was wide-eyed and freaked out.  When Mr. Mayberry saw that it was an 8 year old that had plunked him, he quickly apologized for the cursing and spoke to George for a quick second where I could not hear what he was saying. 

George walks over to me and says, “I think I’m pretty warmed up.  Me and John were talking and decided that you needed to be our batboy for the game–if you want to.”  I said, “Yes, yes, yes.”  I checked with my dad and was given the green light.

So there I was in the dugout getting bats for players and hangin’ with the Royals.  The game started.  It was against the Cleveland Indians.  Bird was pitching for the royals and through 7 innings had only given up 2 runs.  In the bottom of the 8th inning it was tied 2-2.  With men on 1st and 2nd and one out, George took the plate.  He hit a single loading the bases.  I was so excited.  Mayberry singles in 2 runs and leaves George at third.  Hal McRae steps up and hits a grounder for an out but George scores on the play.  I ran out of the dugout to meet him at the plate and he picked me up as he crossed home.

The game ended with the Royals winning 5-3 and I experienced the greatest baseball dream day of my life.  I got the autographs of all the players and to this day will never forget the experience.

 

The only thing that would have made this experience any better…

 

 

 

any better at all…

 

would be…

 

blank

 

if even one single word (other than the fact that George Brett is my favorite player and they did beat the Indians 5-3) was at all true.

 

Happy April Fools Day!

 

-Murphy

Texas vs. Texas A&M-POOR AGGIES!

November 19, 2008

I know, I shouldn’t beat up on a team that is 4-7 and just lost by 20 to BAYLOR.  Yes, Baylor!  But it is now an annual tradition.  Here at MK’s Conservative Blog, we like to take a moment out each year to discuss our rivals, the Aggies.  After all, there is so much material to work with.  Last year I made a valiant effort to disclose the outright craziness of the Aggie Traditions, from grabbing your crotch during a yell to burying the mascot so he can see the scoreboard–from underground.  (See Previous Post)

So this year we need a new angle.  Instead of making some boring list about why the Aggies need to be made fun of and why they are so deserving.  Here are some pictures, jokes and a short interview that tells the story all by themselves:

Yell Leaders by sarowen (camera is being repaired...).

“Now Bubba and Cletus, when the two bulls come out we will hold down your back while you try and kick ’em.”

(whispering)-{sorry I can’t caption this one–you do it and keep it PG}

“Um…Hey Buford, do you hear a kind of ‘clank, bbbrpppbbb, clank’ sound?”

{an oldie but goodie}:

All boarded up and ready for the hurricane–that is, if it actually comes from inside the store.

“Go ahead, make one more joke about the Christmas lights”

(fast forward to 2012)-“And annoucing the Democratic candidate for the Texas Senate Seat…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Darth Aggie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And the winner of this year’s academic scholarship to Texas A&M is…”

“You know Roscoe, you were right, the truck won’t float even though it is still hitched to the boat.”

And a few jokes–just for fun:

How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
            Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
            On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
            It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!

Finally, a short interview with an A&M student:

Our team of investigators met up with this Aggie fan named Mike:

Q:  So how do you feel about having a losing season right now?

A:  We ain’t losing, we still haven’t played TU.

Q:  Yes, but your record is 4-7–how does that make you feel as a devoted fan?

A:  Our record is nuthin’ until we play TU, understand?

Q:  No, but I’ll transition into something else?

A:  You can turn into another being?

Q:  NO!, I mean I’ll move on…so, speaking of the rivalry, what are you doing to prepare for the Texas game?

A:  There is no “Texas game” there is an A&M game where we open up a 6 pack of whoop-a** on TU.

Q:  Semantics aside…

A:  I did not do well in Geometry so let’s talk about something else.

Q: Um…okay  what do you do on game day to prepare?

A:  Well, this year it is back on Turkey Day as you know, and I’ll be eating a couple of Turkeys and then proabably get a big bowl of stuffin’ and maybe some candied yams and some green bean casserole and then I’ll have some lunch  and make the drive to A-town and watch TU get their butts turned inside out.

Q:  Okay, I’m not sure what that means exactly but I think I get the point.  So  if A&M goes 1-11 that is okay with you so long as they beat Tex..er.. I mean TU?

A:  Maybe you don’t understand what I’m saying.  There is no record until after we beat TU-which in the last 3 years we have done 2 times so get ready for some whoopin’

Q:  Great, well have a great time at the game.

A:  You too, hey, you gonna eat those fries…

-Murphy

PS:  Eric Chamble calls in to the unofficial MKCB show and asks the fans of the site:  “How does A&M feel knowing that their rival was once Texas, then Texas Tech and now they have to say that their real rival is Baylor?”

As always MKCB thanks Eric for his insightful and obviously cynical and sarcastic question–We love that stuff here.  🙂

University of Texas vs. Sooners 2008

October 7, 2008

 



 

Last year I posted about this game and predicted at 35-21 beating by OU.  (Actual score was 28-21 OU).  OU was fresh off a loss as was UT but Colt McCoy really didn’t have the offense in synch last year and OU was cooking pretty well.

Now they are 1 and 5 in the polls, undefeated, both clicking on all cylinders and…I’m terrified to watch the game–but watch I must.

Above is my favorite Internet picture of the sooners–a small sooner boy, hoping against hope that he can muster up a 2.5 gpa in High School so that he can attend his favorite college, the University of Oklahoma–and there he is watching his team get beat by its biggest rival.  Poor little kid.  But what of the J’Ville fan who lost to Davidson by 35 points–no one seems to care about him.

Well, as I am apt to do, it seems fitting to make fun of our rival’s school traditions–if for no other reason than–it is fun.  So here are some Sooner Traditions, straight from the School’s actual website:

1.  School Color Confusion

Turns out the school colors are “crimson and cream.”  Really, they are.  Let’s see…

Crimson & Cream

Odd…the page describing the colors shows this photo–hey elitists-that is red and white!

2.  The Band

Most college campuses like to talk about how their marching band began as a military band and was made up of soon-to-be soldiers.  The OU website has this to proudly say about its band:

The Pride of Oklahoma

“The Pride of Oklahoma Marching Band has been supporting Sooner Spirit for nearly a century. Unlike many other college bands, which began as military drill units, the Pride of Oklahoma had its beginnings as a pep band.”

Wow.  So they are excited about the fact that it was actually formed from a “pep band.” 

3.  Sooner actually means Cheater

This is my favorite.  The website wants to explain to you why they are called the “Sooners.”  It states the following:

“The origins of Oklahoma’s nickname stretch back to the Civil War era. The Homestead Act of 1862 provided that a legal settler could claim 160 acres of public land, and those who lived on and improved the claim for five years could receive title.”Boomers” were settlers who favored the opening of unassigned lands in the Oklahoma Territory.  At high noon on April 22, 1889, legal aspirants would be able to enter the Oklahoma Territory and choose 160 acres of land. The event soon became known as the “Oklahoma Land Run” or “Land Run of 1889″.  The great dramatic moment came when, at the stroke of noon, starting signals were given at the many points of entry. In some instances it was given by a blue-clad military officer firing his pistol or by his trumpeter, at times by a citizen firing his rifle in the air, or, as at Fort Reno, by the boom of a cannon. All produced the same results — a tumultuous avalanche of wagons and horsemen surging forward all in one breathtaking instant.”
 
Okay–so that would explain why you might call them the “Boomers” but why “Sooner?”  Read on:

“One of the few rules to claiming a lot of land was that all participants were to start at the same time. Those who went too soon were called ‘Sooners’.”

So “Sooner” is a word meant for those lawbreaking individuals who decided to evade the rules, cheat, and grab land before the designated time.   Well, isn’t that interesting in light of Barry Switzer’s reign at the University?  But wait, the website, like a well crafted Obama speech, spins it a little differently:

“As time went on, “Sooner” came to be a synonym of Progressivism. The Sooner was an “energetic individual who travels ahead of the human procession.” He was prosperous, ambitious, competent, a “can-do” individual. And Oklahoma was the Sooner State, the land of opportunity, enterprise and economic expansion, very much in the Progressive spirit that engulfed the old South in the 1920s.”

Excellent work spin meisters–Sooner doesn’t mean Cheater–it describes someone who is ahead of human achievement–yes ahead because they CHEATED!

4.  That Annoying Song

Yes, almost no school is more annoying than Texas A&M with their ridiculous fight song and cheers, but this one is brilliant.  I have to think that the words to this song were actually penned by someone who was given the task of writing it, but forgot to write it until the day he was supposed to present it:

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, OK U!
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, OK U!
I’m a Sooner born and Sooner bred
and when I die, I’ll be Sooner dead
Rah Oklahoma, Rah Oklahoma
Rah Oklahoma, OK U!

Seriously?  “and when I die, I’ll be Sooner dead?”  What in sweet Moses does that mean?  That is the best rhyme you could come up with for the word bred?  What about “instead” or “red” or “bed” or “led” or “bled” or “fed” or anything but “dead?” 

Well, all I can say OU is that you better bring your “A” game this weekend or you may find yourself “Sooner dead” on the field of the Cotton Bowl.

Hook ’em.

Bold prediction:  Texas 31, OU 24

-Murphy

Texas vs. Arkansas–The Game of The Century

September 24, 2008

Well I must admit that I love University of Texas football even more than finding new and improved ways of making fun of Democrats.  This weekend the matchup between these two Southwest Conference Rivals will finally take place.  Originally scheduled during Hurricane Ike, the Razorbacks will travel to Austin to face their old rival.  This game should be a blowout for Texas, who is riding a three game string of blowouts on Colt McCoy’s incredibly efficient passing game.  He has thrown 11 touchdowns and only 1 interception through 3 games against teams that were certainly unevenly matched.

This game unfortunately will not be close to the greatest game between these two teams of all time–the 1969 “Game of the Century.”  For true Longhorn fans–take a look:

Is the clarinet player actually crying?  Probably because most of the Texas Fight songs don’t really feature the clarinet.  Or maybe because she had a bet on Arkansas.  Either way–ABC choosing to focus on the emotional band player shows that programing has not really changed much in 39 years.

From Wikipedia:

“President Richard Nixon attended the game along with several members of his staff and U.S. Representatives George H.W. Bush of Texas and John Paul Hammerschmidt of Arkansas, having announced that he would give a plaque to the winner, proclaiming it to be the National Champion — to the chagrin of observers who thought it premature to do so before the New Year’s Day bowl games, and of fans of Penn State, which would also end the season undefeated. Texas came from behind to win, 15-14, and accepted Nixon’s plaque. Texas beat Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl, and removed any doubt as to whether it deserved consideration as National Champion, although Penn State fans still insist that their team, also undefeated and winner of the Orange Bowl, was better. However, it is worth noting that the Cotton Bowl first invited Penn State to play the Southwest Conference champions. The Nittany Lions declined the invitation, preferring to spend New Year’s Day in warm Miami, where they defeated Big 8 champion Missouri. The 1969 Texas-Penn State conflict, never settled on the field, has been one of the major arguments in favor of a Division I-A playoff. Arkansas lost the Sugar Bowl to Archie Manning-led Ole Miss (ironically, Arkansas ended up joining the SEC in 1992). The entire Texas-Penn State debate and Nixon’s involvement led to a quote from Penn State coach Joe Paterno, a conservative Republican, during a commencement speech at Penn State in 1974 about Nixon, “How could Nixon know so much about college football in 1969 and so little about Watergate in 1973?””

“This game has been nicknamed “Dixie’s Last Stand,” since it was the last major American sporting event played between two all-white teams, although two schools in the Southeastern Conference (SEC), LSU and Ole Miss, did not integrate their varsity football squads until 1972.”

But my favorite “fact” from the game is:

“With the Vietnam War still raging and Nixon in attendance, protestors came to the game, and one of them got into a tree overlooking the stadium and held up an antiwar sign. An urban legend grew up around this game, claiming that this protestor was Arkansas native and future President Bill Clinton. Clinton, however, was not at the game, as he was then a Rhodes Scholar at the University of Oxford in England, and was listening to the game on a shortwave radio with some American friends.”

It would have been awesome though if he really was at the game with an anti-war sign–my sources say that in fact it was John Kerry that was there protesting, fresh from throwing his medals over the fence at the White House…but I digress.

It is important to note however, that Mack Brown’s success against the Hogs has been, well, limited. 

January 1, 2000:  Cotton Bowl:  14th Ranked Texas vs. 24th Ranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 6, RESULT?  Arkansas 27  Texas 6

September 13, 2003:  UT Stadium:  6th Ranked Texas vs. Unranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 13, RESULT?  Arkansas 38  Texas 28

September 11, 2004:  Razorback Stadium:  7th Ranked Texas vs. Unranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 11, RESULT?  Texas 22 Arkansas 20.

YIKES!

But how can we really be scared?  Arkansas has shown little ability to win this year and after all check out this tradition–quoted directly from their athletic department website:

“The words to the Hog call are simple:

 “Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie!

“Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie!

“Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie! Razorbacks!”

          But correctly calling the Hogs takes some practice. It starts with both hands raised high into the air, fingers waving as the volume increases during the word Woooooooooo. The arms pump down on the word Pig and then back into the air on the word Sooie. Give it a try.”

“Give it a try???”  I think not.

Here it is in case YOU want to “give it a try:”

HOG CALL

Seriously?

If you go to the game this week, I think you will see a UT victory.  I predict UT 35, Arkansas 17.  Just pray you don’t run in to this guy:

I’m a pretty serious fan, but there is serious, and then there is unstable.

-Murphy

I’m Voting For the Belmont Basketball Team for President

March 21, 2008

eb95136f-3e5b-49cf-92e3-dcd4f94d9ffa_ncaa_belmont_duke_basketball_sff-355x512.jpeg

As you may have heard, last night the men of Belmont nearly rose up and defeated the #2 seed Duke.  Unfortunately they did not prevail with Duke edging them in the last few seconds 71-70.  However, as I watched this game it occurred to me that the Belmont team would make a great President.

1.  First-they were in a war that most people had decided they could not win.  Only 2% of Vegas betters had Belmont winning the game.  Nevertheless, they continued to fight hard all the way to the end, never showing any signs of defeat or signs that they believed they could not win.

2.  They played with class–they did not criticize Duke or try and belittle them as a way of making their point, they simply rose to the occassion, played better than they were expected to and showed class and stamina.

3.  They didn’t race bait–they never pointed out how “white” Duke was compared to them or how they were being oppressed by Duke or how Duke was playing a race card to get ahead.  They simply met them on the floor man to man and out-played them most of the game.

4.  They are not any more or less experienced than either Democrat candidate, nor or they any less qualified.  As for McCain–well he does have them beat on that–but they are much younger so there’s that.

In the end, the team I wanted didn’t win.  The difference–in the Fall the candidate with the most credibility, experience, stamina and integrity will win the most coveted office in Government in the World.  Sorry Obama–better luck next time.

Have a great and wonderful Easter–or at least one better than this kid:  (note to Parents–if the Easter bunny resembles the love child of Satan and Steven Tyler–probably going to make your kid cry) 

-Murphy

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