Archive for the ‘Nancy Pelosi’ category

Health Care Reform, Taxes on Chips, Bankers Salaries, Oh My!

May 14, 2009

socialism illustrated

ALERT!–ALL SATIRE HAS BEEN PUSHED ASIDE FOR THIS POST.

-That’s right, I have decided that I simply cannot make light of the ongoing barrage of socialistic filth that is coming down from Mount Olympus, er… Washington D.C.  Today I heard a report on how Congress is considering taxing soft drinks, sugary foods and chips.  Which by the way, discriminates against fat people–didn’t I do a post about this at one time…

(See https://mklasing.wordpress.com/2007/12/17/instead-of-taxing-babies-how-about-taxing-caprisun/)

Then I heard a report about how Congress wants to regulate how bankers get paid–even with banks that did not take any bailout money.  Then I hear about how Nancy Pelosi has guaranteed a health care reform bill by August.

After my head exploded and I picked up the pieces of my severed skull and taped it back together I realized something that I have been denying for the past 7 months.  I am really really mad.  Not just a little mad–but REALLY mad.

Since the election I have tried to be understanding and humble about the outcome.  I know that although 58 million people did not vote for Barack Obama, 60 million did and those 60 million are entitled to their reasons and feelings and this is a free country and blah, blah, blah, blah.

However, numerous people have told me recently that they voted for Mr. Obama because they “were afraid that McCain was just another Bush,” or “I had no idea he would take us this far to the left,” or “we just needed a change,” or “I gave the Republicans 8 years and they didn’t take care of things.”  And now I’m just mad.

I’m mad at the voters–I’m mad at you if you voted for Barack Obama.  I know it seems like sour grapes and all that–but here is a newsflash for you liberals–it is not about ME winning or ME getting my way in the election.  It is about what is best for our Country.  It’s about not allowing all of our freedoms and liberties to be sucked into the socialistic vaccum cleaner of the Democratic Party.

So I’m Mad at each person who voted for Mr. Obama.  And as the Country slides further into socialism YOU are to blame.  When my daughter is 80 and cannot get a hip replacement without a 6 month wait-YOU are to blame.  When unemployment hits 20% under the thumb of over taxation and regulation, YOU are to blame.  When our military can no longer defend our Nation because of the dismantling of our post 9/11 defenses put in place by the Bush administration-YOU are to blame.  When we slip from lone Superpower to being dependent on the good graces of Europe, China and Russia-YOU are to blame.

So today I’m mad–I’ll get over it I suppose.  I don’t mean any offense to any liberals out there (and I know how easy you take offense–at least I didn’t post a giant picture of a nativity scene) or any friends who voted for Obama.  After all, I’m confident you will rectify this situation in 2012–I just hope it won’t be too late.

-Murphy

P.S.

 

 

Keep going…

 

 

 

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he heee

Geithner Ushers In George Costanza Opposite Philosophy

April 2, 2009

I love Seinfeld. I think it was one of the funniest television shows to ever hit our living rooms.   Its humor touched all of us because the writers took real-life everyday situations and subjects and showed us how funny they can be in the extreme or in the abstract or just in general.  And now, I’m proud to say that I have discovered what is driving our Treasury Secretary to say and do the things he is doing.  He is simply living out George Costanza’s philosophy on opposites.  See if you remember this:

You see, you have to look back at Tim Geithner’s history a little to understand why I have come to this brilliant conclusion.  It is the only explanation I can come up with for his most recent comments.  But first, a short look back.

In October 2003, Mr. Geithner became the President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.  Since that time and especially since August 2007, Mr. Geithner has been in a position to deal with the coming financial crisis we are now in.   It was 2006 that he became one of the individuals in the “Group of Thirty.”  This was a Washington-based financial advisory committee. (ok, now I’m boring you)—

It was Geithner that designed the $30billion bailout of Bear Stearns (remember that one–I know too many bailouts ago).  It was Geithner that decided not to help Lehman Bros. but to assist AIG.  It was around that time that he began to change course and do—the opposite of what he knew was right.

AIG:  Prior to the election, Mr. Geithner worked closely with AIG regarding their compensation issues including the bonuses  and concluded with a committee of others in 2008 that the bonuses could not be “legally” blocked.  After reviewing the company and its complete failure at administering itself–he decided to do the opposite and pour billions of dollars down the AIG toilet.

Then there was his decision regarding his taxes (from Wikipedia-sources included):

At the Senate confirmation hearings, it was revealed that Geithner had not paid $35,000 in self-employment taxes for several years,[26] even though he had acknowledged his obligation to do so, and had filed a request for, and received, a payment for half the taxes owed. The failure to pay self-employment taxes was noted during a 2006 audit by the Internal Revenue Service(IRS), in which Geithner was assessed additional taxes of $14,847 for the 2003 and 2004 tax years. Geithner also failed to pay the self-employment taxes for the 2001 and 2002 tax years until after Obama expressed his intent to nominate Geithner to be Secretary of Treasury.[27] He also deducted the cost of his children’s sleep-away camp as a dependent care expense, when only expenses for day care are eligible for the deduction.[28]Geithner subsequently paid the IRS the additional taxes owed,[29] and was charged $15,000 interest, but was not fined for late payment.[30]As President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, Geithner annually completed an ethics statement noting any taxes due or unpaid, along with any other obligations. Geithner’s completed statement did not surface during confirmation hearings.

As a Johns Hopkins graduate with a Masters in International Economics–it is likely he knew that he had to pay self-employment taxes and that summer camp is hardly “day care” but he chose to do the opposite again.

And NOW:  Faced with his role at the Secretary of the Treasury Mr. Geithner believes that HE should have the ability to fire CEO’s or pressure banks to oust their CEO’s if the Government doesn’t like the way they are operating???

Well, again he is doing the opposite.  Here is the stated role of his office in the Government:

“The Secretary of the Treasury is the principal economic advisor to the President and plays a critical role in policy-making by bringing an economic and government financial policy perspective to issues facing the government. The Secretary is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt. The Secretary oversees the activities of the Department in carrying out its major law enforcement responsibilities; in serving as the financial agent for the United States Government; and in manufacturing coins and currency.

See he is supposed to oversee the “Department” not department stores or departments of private industry–but the Department of the Treasury–you know the guys that are making money faster than Al Gore is printing Global Warming books.  But Timmy has decided to do—the opposite and now he wants to run private companies.

Well the consequences have been staggering.  Taking their cue from Mr. Geithner the following individuals have decided they are also going to do the opposite:

1.  Oprah Is Going to Stop Dieting

After all, she has been on more diets than she can count and so now it appears she is just going to do the opposite.

2.  The Pittsburgh Pirates Are Going To Win Games

After years of feeble play, the Pirates have announced they will actually try and win some games and maybe even make the playoffs.  They credit Geithner for coming up with this opposite plan.

3.  Nancy Pelosi Is Going To Read

Worried for years that reading anything at all may actually cause her brain to re-fire and begin working again, Ms. Pelosi has decided to “do the opposite” as they are calling it in Washington and sit down and read a few books.  She decided to start with Danielle Steele and take it slow.  She is hoping to have her brain all turned on again by 2013.

4.  Charles Manson To Write Children’s Books

Inspired by the Secretary, Mr. Manson declared recently that instead of killing young people, he would write cute little stories to inspire them.  “I owe it all to Geithner” he stated gleefully to a group of reporters.

5.  Baylor To Attempt a Tournament Championship

Finally, the Baylor Bears basketball team will play Penn State tonight in the NIT Championship game.  Baylor, typically losing games of any significance, and having been inspired to do the opposite will try tonight to bring home a trophy.  One player was quoted as saying, “Costanza and Geithner, they are practically the same person.”

Baylor, I couldn’t agree more.  Sic’ em!

-Murphy

And Now…The Rest of The Story

March 2, 2009

Today we say goodbye to a great journalist and conservative…Paul Harvey.

Paul Harvey had an amazing career on the radio spanning 7 decades!  I personally listed to his News and Comments every chance I could for many years.  He is a true legend and radio icon.

In a tribute to Paul, we here at MKCB have decided to conduct a final interview of Mr. Harvey with some of his more famous quotes:

MK:  Paul, it is great to see you and I’m so exicted to ask you a few final questions before you journey on to a better place.  So on to my first question.  We are obviously going through some tough economic times–in fact some would say the worst in a billion years.  What advice can you give to those who have been really feeling the pinch of the current economic situation?

PAUL:  ” In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.”

MK:  Well I think that is sound, but our current President continues to pound the message that we are in a “crisis” that we are suffering through times “like none other”  that we are in an “unprecedented economic downturn,” so what would you say to President Obama in his attempts to lead us through these times?

PAUL:  “I’ve never seen a monument erected to a pessimest.”  So President Obama ought to instead be the optimist after all…“every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave.  Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be.”

MK:  I could not agree more.  And what about our great and wonderful Congress?  Ms. Pelosi and her ilk are dead set to turn our economy from a people/capitalist driven economy to a government/socialsit driven economy.  Any words for those who think we should look to Congress to “save us” from these economic times?

PAUL:  “If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’ what is the opposite of ‘progress’?”

MK:    Exactly.  One thing an economic downturn does is force us to evaluate our lives and our careers.  Any advice for those who are reflecting on the past and trying to decide where to go from here?

PAUL:  “Like what you do, if you don’t like it, do something else.”

MK:  To the lighter side of things–are you much of a golfer?  Do you plan on hitting the golden links in heaven?

PAUL:  “Golf is a game in which you yell ‘Fore!,’ shoot six, and write down five.”

MK:  Finally, we have been told that Obama’s plans and stimulus package will “kick-start” the economy or “drop kick” it as VP Biden said, and yet today I learned that since President Barack Obama was elected, the Dow has dropped 2,562 points  and this past Friday, the Commerce Department reported that the U.S. economy shrank by 6.2%,  making it the worst quarter since 1982.  Most economists are predicting that labor data to be released this Friday will show that over 700,000 jobs were lost in February.  I thought President Obama was supposed to come in and save the economy, not turn it into something worse?

PAUL:  “Now you know the rest of the story.”

Murphy

Nancy Pelosi Is A Great Leader–Kind of Like Um…General Custer

September 29, 2008

Nancy pelosi

The United States, allegedly, stands on the brink of an economic meltdown.  Our Government, including our President, has told us that the only ones who can save us are the white bread members of the United States House and Senate.  They have worked really hard for like a week or so to save us-and today when the votes were cast–they um…failed.

Imagine if you will the following scenario:  Venom is poised to launch and attack that would destroy the entire West Coast of the United States (I know let him do it–kidding left coasters).  The only one to save us all is of course, SpiderMan.

Unfortunately…

Spiderman is just a middle-aged fat guy running around naked covered in Spidey body paint. (ewww)  So what happens, Venom destroys California, Oregon and Washington, but not Alaska because some tough broad up there shoots him in the face with a shotgun…but I digress.

The point is–our Government is about as effective at solving private problems as a fat naked middle-aged Spiderman.  (is the metaphor stretching a bit?)

Well, never fear–we have General Pelosi at the helm–and just to give you a little comfort, here is a short list of people that secretly inspire her to lead us all to victory:

1.  General Custer

2.  Wanda Holloway (“The Texas Cheerleader Mom“)

3.  President James Buchanan

for you lacking in history–James Buchanan, faced with threats of the South leaving the Union over slavery  and thinking war was equally bad–couldn’t make a decision, lost the faith of his own party (the DEMOCRATS) and is largely held responsible for the break-up of the Union and following civil war.

4.  New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin

 

5.  Andrew Fastow

But have no fear Americans, if Pelosi can’t do it, and naked Spiderman can’t do it, then we dare not lose hope, we dare not begin to believe that we are failures because after all is said and done and the bailout is over and the banks are back up and running–our true savior will rise again to pull us from the jaws of defeat.

You know who it is–it is who has been saving us for years–lending us money and making those cute little everythings that decorate our house…

China!

-Murphy

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