Archive for the ‘Me’ category

I’m Ready For My Bailout!

December 10, 2008

Well with GM seeking a bailout and Circuit City filing Bankruptcy and AIG needing more money and on and on–I have decided to formally step into the bailout line.  I know, you are saying, “But Murphy, you are a right-wing, cement-hearted, nut job conservative…how can you do such a thing?”  Well, there is an old saying, “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.”

I thought that since we are about to have a nearly Socialist regime in our Government, it may be time to step in line and get some free stuff.

If companies that are mismanaged can go to the government with a Republican president and get free money, how much more can I get something once Obama takes over?

So, here is my bailout list:

1.  STUDENT LOAN DEBT

After law school I was saddled with a hefty student loan.  Then I worked for (don’t gasp), the Government for 2 years and deferred the loans since my salary was a little light.  Now, some 14 years after law school I still have a balance and I feel as though I need a bailout.  So I submit my request.

2.  WINE CLUB BAILOUT

After a trip to Napa Valley I learned about “wine clubs.”  You can sign up at each winery and they will send you 2 or 3 bottles a month and simply charge your credit card.  I feel it would responsible to my tasting experience to be a member of at least say…10 wine clubs.  But that would of course cost somewhere between $1000 and $1500 a month, which I really cannot afford…that is…unless I can get a Bailout!  So I submit this as my second request for a bailout.

3.  LEXUS BAILOUT

Currently I drive a 2006 Camry.

But I would really like to drive a 2009 Lexus.

So, if I could get go ahead and buy the Lexus (which I cannot afford) and then I will submit my request for a bailout on that as well.  Thank you Uncle Sam!

4.  EMOTIONAL BAILOUT

When I am blue or feeling down, I don’t like it.  If someone dies or if my stocks lose 40% of their value, I get a little sad.  Maybe the Government could provide me an emotional bailout.  Maybe I could get in the mail a DVD set of comedy stand-up routines by Jerry Seinfeld and Brian Regan and maybe all 9 seasons of the Golden Girls–or just this:

or this:

In any event, what I would really like a bailout from is scandals, Clinton appointees, higher taxes and socialist health care–guess I’ll have to wait 4 years for those.

-Murphy

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Thanksgiving Post: What Am I Thankful For?

November 25, 2008

In a year that has gone south in many ways for me (economics, market, election, Texas/Texas Tech game, turning 40, hairline) there are so many things to be thankful for.  Thanksgiving should be a time to reflect on such things leading up to the “big one” on December 25–the day that matters most.  So I thought I would let you know what I am thankful for- in a time where many people are not giving thanks.  So, in no particular order:

I.  AMERICA

I am thankful I live in the United States of America, which, as of today, is still the “land of the free” and the “home of the brave.”  I am thankful that since 9/11/01 there have been no terrorist attacks on our shores.  I am thankful that our airports, planes and buildings have remained safe in the last 7 years.   I am thankful for our troops.

They continue to work tirelessly to protect our freedom and to protect the citizens of Iraq from attacks.  They are true heroes and I am so thankful for them.  I am thankful for our President.  Yes, I know the polls and the pundits suggest that I shouldn’t be, but I am.  President Bush has worked hard to keep my children safe and has worked in an environment filled with the most vile, nasty, and undeserved attacks from members of the Democrat Party, yet, he has never failed to get up each day and do his best for our Nation.  I have not always agreed with him, but I am so very thankful for him and the job he has done.  So–Thank you Mr. President–you do a job that most Americans cannot and would not (hmmm..maybe an illegal immigrant should run for office–but I digress)

II.  FAMILY

No, I am not related to John Patterson.  Unlike this guy, I am very thankful for my family.  My wife, 3 kids, parents, in-laws, sister, nieces and nephews.  Although all families are imperfect, I am thankful that mine is perfectly normal and that so far, they have not decided to leave me.   I am thankful that my kids are healthy and do well in school and seem to be wary of morality and ethics.  I am thankful that my wife works tirelessly to make sure they are taught right and wrong and are well taken care of.  I am thankful that my parents and in-laws are still here and healthy and enjoy spending time with us.

III.   MISCELLAENOUS

A.  Dark Chocolate

Duh!  There is no greater sweetness.

B.  Colt McCoy

Yes, the entire Texas Longhorn team is great this year, but without McCoy, the team would certainly be in a different position in the polls and the National Title Race.  So I am thankful for him.

C.  The Gas Conspiracy

You know—either the Bush conspiracy–that Bush drove up the prices from his Oval Office Supercomputer to help his buddies at Big Oil, OR–the Obama conspiracy–that the Middle East drove up the prices to make the Country believe in the Bush conspiracy so that voters would chose Obama only to have the prices fall just after the election.  Well whichever fantasy you think is correct–the outcome is the same.  I am thankful that my Camry now costs $26 to fill up instead of $60 and that my Suburban costs $48 instead of $100.

D.  Hillary Clinton

I know, you are shocked that I would list her on my “thankful” list.  But I am thankful that she has been taken out of the Senate.  No longer will I have to listen to her pontificate about health care or some other socialist agenda item on C-Span.  Now she will be going to the Middle East to “impress” the Saudi’s–ha that is really funny.  For that I am thankful.

IV.  GOD

Finally, and primarily, I am thankful to God.  Thankful to Him for all of the above and so much more.  Thankful that His hand has not left my family or our Country.  Thankful that He continues to bless my life and the lives of those in my family and circle of friends.  Thankful that all of our needs continue to be provided.  Thankful that regardless of elections, stock markets, gas prices or National Championships, He remains faithful and constant.

God Bless you, your family, your job, your finances and your health.  And I wish you all–yes even you silly Democrats who get on here and call me names–even you guys—I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.

-Murphy

40 Years Old! Yikes!

October 14, 2008

Yesterday I turned the corner from youth to middle age.  No, I’m not telling you this so you will wish me Happy Birthday or buy me a nice new car, or even a new suit or an XBox 360 or whatever you feel like.   ANYWAY–I thought I’d share my reflections on the significance of the day, if any.

I discovered as I approached this momentus occasion that it was weighing me down a bit.  I know, “It’s just another day,” “40 is the new 30,” “40 is Fabulous,” “You don’t look a day over 39,” blah, blah, blah.

But I can’t help it–I felt burdened.  It is a lot of years–What in the world have I done with them?

The first 10 years were spent grown from a baby to a kid.  We all do that–no real concerns with time spent during that period.

The next 10 are spent getting an education, discovering life, trying things you shouldn’t, acting horrifically selfish and wondering what you will be doing if and when you grow up.  We all did this so that isn’t really much of a concern either.  Espcially since I did, in fact, survive that time period.

It’s the next 20 that deserve real attention.  I have started asking myself the following:

-Have I given more than I have taken?

-Have I set an example for right or a reference for wrong?

-Have I thanked all of those who deserve it?

-Have I forgiven all of those who don’t?

-Have I made the world better for being in it?

-Have I been more selfish than selfless?

-Have I accomplihshed what I should have by this point?

-Have I been a good husband, father, friend, co-worker, boss, colleague?

YIKES!  I had way to many “no’s” to those questions.  And no, I’m not talking about wondering why I never sky-dived (dove?), swam with dolphins, drove a corvette or tried recreational drugs.  I’m not talking about a traditional mid-life crisis here–just a reflection on time that is now gone.

The real question is:  “Have I been an asset to the world or a liability?”

When you start asking these questions you end up looking at the calendar and thinking “Yikes, I may only have 20-40 years left to fix the mess I’ve made.”  That is when the burden of age starts to grow on your back like a big monster.

I know what you are thinking-you didn’t come here to read an episode of Dr. Phil.  Where is the comparrison of Nancy Pelosi to Naked Spiderman?  Where is the rant about why the media is trying everything it can to elect Obama–even to lie about polls and statistics and declare McCain dead?  (coming)

Sometimes you have to be serious–just for a moment.

Well, my contemplation has led me to some real truths:

1.  You cannot reclaim the past–it is gone.

2. People matter–even the “bad” ones-reconcile, reconcile, reconcile–you cannot show love and forgiveness to a dead person.

3. The world revolves around the sun and we are ON the world–We are NOT the sun.

4.  Others before self–otherwise self will grow old without any others.

5. Dark Chocoate and Red wine is a combination made in Heaven. (Okay, I already knew that one).

-I don’t care if you are 10, 40 or 80.  This is the life you have–use it wisely.

-And for those of you worried about 40–here is the truth about it that I discovered this weekend:

1.  It rained 40 days and 40 nights–THEN the sun shone brightly.

2.  The Israelites wandered the wilderness aimlessly for 40 years-THEN they went into the Promised Land.

3. Goliath taunted the armies of Israel for 40 days-THEN David killed him with a sling and a stone.

4. Jesus fasted 40 days-THEN he defeated the temptations of the Devil

So 40 is the end of the turmoil and the hardship and the beginning of all that is good.  (okay-that is a real oversimplification, but just go with it.

So…big deal, the past is done–let’s start shining today and be an asset to this great world we live in…

 

….AND NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED CONSERVATIVE RANTS

-Murphy