Archive for the ‘Hillary Clinton’ category

Stupid Is As Stupid Does–Its All Global Warming Brotha!

May 7, 2008

So we have survived another “super” Tuesday.  Hillary is now further behind but the remaining states–although not big ones–all are heavy Clinton States.  West Virginia, Kentucky, Puerto Rico (is that a State?) South Dakota and others all have extremely low African American resident numbers which bodes well for Hillary.  So she will stay in and continue to divide the party and the two of them can continue to bash each other.  Thank you Rush Limbaugh for “Operation Kaos”–it seems to be working.  But it appears that the messiah of change is set to be the next Democratic nominee–hold on to your wallets folks.

But, like you, I’m soooooooo very tired of the election.  So let’s look at some other idiots in the news besides Obama and Hillary for a moment.

So..back to my beloved State of Texas.  Charles Ray Fuller, a Fort Worth resident attempted to cash this check for $360 billion.  Charles–no doubt a future murderer (after all–all great murderers have a middle name of Ray) explained that his girlfriend’s mother had loaned him the money to start a recording business.  The bank was “suspicious” of the check.  Ya think?  He was charged with forgery as well as possession of marijuana and a concealed weapon.  So he goes into a bank with a gun, some pot and a forged check for $360.  I’m thinking the pot was left over from the hour or so before he went in.  Idiot!

In Seattle, PETA is offering a $2000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the person(s) shooting pigeons with a blow gun.  This one is a trooper though, depsite the piercing he continues to fly around dropping poop all over cars and sidewalks.   Hey PETA–for your information,  three human diseases are known to be associated with pigeon droppings: histoplasmosis, cryptococcosis, and psittacosis.

Well, what are those?  Histoplasmosis is a fungus in the droppings that when breathed causes fever, headaches and fatigue.  It can be very bad for people with compromised immune systems from cancer treatment or AIDS.   Cryptococcosis is similar but mainly is a danger for HIV/AIDS patients because of compromised immune systems.  Psittacosis is similar, much more rare–but can lead to pneumonia–and likely will since it is rarely diagnosed properly.  So…maybe blow guns is not the answer–but I’ll give $2000 to the person that can “safely” drive them out of downtown Houston.  Three years ago, on my way to Court, one hit my shoulder on my very nice blue suit.  If I had been carrying a blow gun…

And finally…

It only took a few days, but Al Gore has declared that the deadly Cyclone in Myanmar is a “consequence” of global warming. Nevermind that the coastal areas of Myanmar (formerly Burma) have a mean yearly temperature of 90 degrees.  Nevermind that the coastal waters there are warm year round.  Nevermind that Cyclones are caused in part by warm water and low pressure (which means cooler atmospheric temperatures–yes cooler) that collide to form the swirling winds.  Nevermind that it lies in the monsoon region of South Asia which receives heavy rainfall every year.  Nevermind that it rests between the Tropic of Cancer and the Equator where cyclones typically form.  Nevermind that EVERY year cyclones cross the Indian Ocean between December and May.  But I’m sure, Mr. Gore, that global warming is at fault.

Here are 10 other things caused by Global Warming:

1.  My Inability To Excel In Sports.  I simply get too hot and tired and therefore cannot produce the hits, runs, baskets, or touchdowns I might be able to if I was just a little cooler.

2.  High Gas Prices.  See if the ice caps weren’t melting then we wouldn’t all be paniced which is causing “BIG OIL” to screw us — oh and Bush too.

3. Demise of Our Moral Culture.  See if it was cooler, then 12-16 year old girls wouldn’t be able to wear short shorts and drooping necklines because it wouldn’t be justified.  But since they are so dadgum hot all the time, they have to dress like Las Vegas call girls.

4. McCain Loosing in the Fall.  Rich eltist racist republicans won’t go out in the heat and come November it will still be hot in most states because of the .000001 degree rise in temperature this year.

5. Rockets Basketball Loosing to Utah in the First Round.  The Rockets would have obviously won had they not had to play games this time of year with the heat and humidity caused by El Nino or something.

6. The Subprime Mortgage Crisis.  Had the temperature remained cooler, people would have been more comfortable and therefore would have taken their time and read the ridiculous loan packages they were signing.  Then “cooler heads” would have prevailed and they would not have entered into ARM mortgages that ballooned in interest in 5 years causing massive foreclosures.

7.  The Split in the Democratic Party.  But for global warming, democrats wouldn’t be whipped into a racial/gender frenzy and would have obviously voted for Hillary and put her in her rightful place on the throne.

8. Obesity-(truly)–see prior post.

9. Surge in Fatal Shark Attacks.  Really?–See article

Yeesh–its worse than I thought.

and finally the last thing that has been affected by Global Warming…

10.  Dramatic Decrease in Woodlice.  See article.  It’s sad but true.  The beloved Wood Lice are dying in Ireland and Great Britain due to global warming.  These lovable little creatures may soon be gone forever:

Of course, I’m sure that advances in pesticides (many of which market themselves as being able to kill wood lice) have nothing to do with the decreased number of these animals.  No, its your SUV you selfish son of a gun that is killing these poor creatures.

If I wake up in a world with decreased wood lice and sharks coming through the roof of my nearly foreclosed on subprime mortgaged home, then why should I even get out of bed?

-Murphy

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Gotta Love the Germans

May 5, 2008

I’ve got a busy Monday so this will have to do:

Those silly Germans.  (This picuture taken from the “Rose Monday” parade last February)

-Murphy

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An Early Tribute To Mother’s Day-Sort of!

April 25, 2008

As you know, May 11, 2008 is that Hallmark “holiday” we know as Mother’s Day.  Don’t forget about it–your mother is the reason you exist (partially) and therefore deserve at least one day a year to be honored.  Where did this hysteria come from anyway?  Where did this idea to have a day that if you forget about it, you will be riddled with guilt trips for 364 solid days following?  (that was good grammar)

Anyway, as I sit here with my shirt untucked, my bed unmade, my hair uncombed and fresh from a brisk run with scissors where I talked to strangers and pet dogs I didn’t know, I thought I should take a little time to think about this upcoming day of fun and excitement.

Where did it come from?  One site says the following:

In the times of the ancient Greeks, Rhea, the Mother of the Gods,  was honored with a special festival. In seventeenth century England, “Mothering Sunday,” celebrated on the fourth Sunday in Lent, honored England’s mothers.

Jumping across the ocean, the first observation of a Mother’s Day in the United States took place in 1872 when Julia Ward Howe, social reformer and poet who penned the words to the “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” suggested a day to honor mothers. This day, which she felt should be dedicated to peace, was celebrated by gatherings that she organized and held in Boston.  In 1907, Anna Jarvis took Howe’s idea a step further and began to campaign for a nationally recognized Mother’s Day.  On 9th of May 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made the official proclamation that Mother’s Day would be a national holiday to be celebrated annually on the second Sunday in May.

So there you have it–a little history of the day.  Now, to get you in the spirit, let’s talk about some famous mothers:

1.  HILLARY CLINTON’S MOM

Dorothy Emma Howell Rodham. Yes, she also has four names just like her daughter–its a thing in her family dating back to one of their great ancestors, Josef Gustav “Jack” Stalin.  (okay-I made that up).  She was a woman who was marred to a “rough and abusive” man named Hugh Rodham.  She has rarely given interviews and when asked about her daughter running for President she said “I know she will do great.”  One has to wonder if Hillary has kept her out of the spotlight for her own good or because her mother has no degree, never worked outside the home, and may not be the feminist Hillary portrays.  Hmmmm….In any event, I give kudos to her.  Anyone that could live with Hillary for 18 years is obviously a saint. 

2.  BARACK OBAMA’S MOM

Stanley Ann Dunham.  Yes, her name is “Stanley.”  Very little has been said about her during the campaign except that she died in 1995 of cancer and that she is white.  But what else do we know about the woman who shaped the man of “hope” and “change?”  Well according to the Chicago Tribune–for one thing she was an athiest.  That’s right, his original father was Muslim, his mother was athiest and what of his stepfather?–Haven’t been able to run that down yet.  But we all know that Obama is a Christian, gaining his perspective on life and religion from Rev. Jeremiah Wright.  (oohhh, sorry–I just felt a cold chill).  She was named Stanley after her father who really wanted a boy.  Nice!  Her friends describe her as saracastic, non-conforming and angry.  Obama said this about his mother in a recent interview: “the dominant figure in my formative years. . . . The values she taught me continue to be my touchstone when it comes to how I go about the world of politics.”

The “touchstone?”  Non-conformity for the sake of rebellion?  Athiesm?  yeesh!  Well, I suppose she should get kudos for walking around the world with the self-proclaimed messiah of change and the fact that she had to live with her name.

Hmmm… Maybe I’ve chosen the wrong mothers to make a point.

Well, In any event, don’t forget about yours–she helped make you and shape you.  She may have given you the occasional bad advice or guilt trip–but all in all, you literally owe your life to her–so take 1 day at least out of your busy schedule and honor her.  It’s a Commandment after all.  And remember–you could have ended up with Dorothy or Stanley.  Worse, you could have ended up with one of these:

-Murphy

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Obama, A Good Man, An Elitist and Divisive, But a Good Man.

April 14, 2008

Well, the Democratic primary continues to entertain me more than watching reruns of Seinfeld for the 1000th time. (well nearly as much as that).  Obama, the man who is to bring about  “change” and bring ALL Americans together has really “stepped in it” as we might say here in gun-toting church going Texas.  Let’s see that quote one more time, shall we?

“You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them…And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not.  And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

Ahhhhh, nothing as sweet as the sound of the truth coming out.  The truth about what this man really believes.  From babies being a “punishment” to his unashamed following of Rev. Wright’s anti-American racists rants to this latest slam against the “working-man.”  You know, the one that he is supposedly going to help by overtaxing the “wealthy” and giving tax breaks to these people.  And here is a liberal slamming the beloved glory-days of the Clinton administration–so rich!

And then there is Hillary–going on the offensive as she should with this quote:

“We have been working very hard to make it clear that we have millions of Democrats who are church going and gun-owning,” she said. “And we are tired of having Republicans, or frankly our own Democrats, give any ammunition to Republicans because what happens then is Republicans take advantage of the situation.”

She called the current imbroglio “an important moment for Democrats” and challenged Obama to further explain what he meant by his comments, which she reiterated were “elitist and divisive.”

Well done Senator.  Well done.  But she has to be ever so careful when slamming her opponent because after-all she cannot appear as a divisive racist.  So she followed that quote with this one:

Pressed on whether she truly believes Obama is an elitist, Clinton called him “a good man,” but recalled the narratives of the 2000 and 2004 president election.

“You don’t have to think back too far to remember that good men running for president were viewed as being elitist and out of touch with the values and lives of millions of Americans,” she said.

He He He Heeee!  This is almost better than wathing Donald Trump and Oprah Winfrey kill each other on MTV’s Celebrity DeathMatch.

In order to be “fair” however to Senator Obama we should look beyond the words and see if we can determine what group of people he will “include” in his all inclusive view of America.  We now know he doesn’t want the gun-toting Christians so that means we can exclude the entire State of Alabama from consideration.  Who does that leave in an Obama-visioned America?

What better way to discover who Obama intends to “include” than to find out who his “friends” are?  And what better way to discover his “friends” than to check out his MySpace.com page

On that page here is a sample of some of his “friends:” (These are actual photos from his “friends” page)

 

 

Okay, so I guess we have a picture now of an Obama-run American–very inclusive indeed.  I won’t tell you which ones where in his top 8. 😉

-Murphy

-“In a civilized society, one cannot send a severed cow’s head to anybody.”

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A Tribute to Charlton Heston for Obama and Hillary

April 7, 2008

As you no doubt know by now, we lost a great man this weekend, Charleton Heston.  Movie star, conservative, and a man not afraid to speak his mind.  I thought I would pull some of his own comments and weave them together into a final “interview” in honor of his legacy.  So, here we go…

Me:  Mr. Heston, welcome.  I am honored to get to speak with you today.  Was there any role in your many years you wish you had gotten to play?

Heston:  “I’ve played three presidents, three saints and two geniuses – and that’s probably enough for any man.”

Me:  I would say so.  Let’s talk about gun control–a subject to which you have dedicated much time and effort.  Remind us again what you said about being President of the NRA.

Heston:  I said a few years ago that “I intend to dedicate my remaining time as President of the NRA to ensure that the Second Amendment is safe from Al Gore and all those who threaten it.”

Me:  I love it.  Sadly you will not be here to see what the Supreme Court ultimately does with this issue in Washington D.C. but what do you think needs to be done to ensure our freedoms in this area?

Heston: ” A clear enunciation of these rights needs to be enshrined in the constitution to guarantee that this basic right of law-abiding gun owners and sportsmen shall not be infringed upon by anti-gun public officials.”

Me:  Amen to that. 

Heston:  Further, “As I have stood in the crosshairs of those who target Second Amendment freedoms, I’ve realized that firearms are not the only issue.  No, it’s much, much bigger than that.  I’ve come to understand that a cultural war is raging across our land, in which, with Orwellian fervor, certain acceptable thoughts and speech are mandated.”

Me:  Exactly–political correctness is everywhere.  In this Democratic primary campaign it is running rampant. (I hope I can say “running rampant.”)

Heston:  “Political Correctness is tyranny with a happy face.”

Me:  So true indeed.  If you had an opportunity to address Mrs. Clinton about your thoughts on gun control and politics, what would you say?

Heston:  I’d say the same thing I said to her husband when I said, “Mr. Clinton, sir, America didn’t trust you with our health care system, America didn’t trust you with gays in the military, America doesn’t trust you with our 21-year old daughters, and we sure, Lord, don’t trust you with our guns.”

Me:  Well, the part about the daughters probably doesn’t apply to her though…

Heston:  (smiling) (silence)

Me:  Well, what might you say to Obama?

Heston:  “I’m a seeker too.  But my dreams aren’t like yours.  I can’t help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better that [this] man.  Has to be.”

Me:  You would think so.  WIth 300 million Americans, I would hope that there are people here more qualified and better suited to run our Country.

Heston:  If he is elected I would cry out, “You may conquer the land, You may slaughter the people.  But that is not the end.  We will rise again.”  And anyway, if society is wounded by being crazy enough to elect Obama or Hillary well, “Society mends its wounds.  And that’s invariably true in all the tragedies, in the comedies as well.  And certainly in the histories.”

Me:   You know Obama claims to be about uniting our Country, yet he attends a racially bigotted church, his wife has written essays speaking of how much she wants to see a “black” America and he clearly wants to turn our Country in to a socialist State.  What can we do about this if he is elected?

Heston:  If he is elected my first question for him bluntly would be, “Are you a master builder or a master butcher?” and then I would scream at the top of my voice, “Let my people go!”

Me:  Have you run into any Democrats up in Heaven yet?

Heston:  HA HA HA, well of course not, but if I do I know exactly what I’ll say to them…

Me:  What would that be?

Heston:  “Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”

Me:  Thanks so much for allowing me this opportunity.  We will all miss you.  Your life seems so rich and full, and we are truly blessed to have had your voice.

Heston:  “It’s been quite a ride.  I’ve loved every minute of it.”

-Murphy

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PS:  ALL QUOTED PORTIONS OF THIS POST ARE ACTUAL QUOTES FROM MR. HESTON’S PUBLIC AND MOVIE CAREER

 

TOP 10 OBAMA AND HILLARY LIES!

April 1, 2008

I’ve missed blogging this week.  I’ve had to work hard again so that I can continue to make money for the government.  Especially this time of year when I get to pay taxes from last year and the first quarter taxes for this year all on the same day.  I guess its rice and beans for the next month.

So, there has been a lot of talk about lying the last few days.  If Letterman would have a TOP 10 list for Hillary and Obama, I think it would look like this:

TOP 10 LIES TOLD BY BARACK OBAMA:

10.  “I am African American.”  (See post by Laurie Kendrick)

9.  “I did not personally hear Rev. Wright’s speech.”  (But then later he said he did–is he John Kerry?)

8.  “I do not support terrorism” (what about the Weather Underground and William Ayers?)

7.  “That Questionaire is not mine…well its my signature, but….”  (okay-playing the conspiracy card a little early aren’t we?)

6.  “I am patriotic.” (see previous posts by Me)

5.  “I support opportunity and growth.”  (but recently said that raising the capital gains tax from 15% to 20 or even 25% really won’t have much impact on Americans.  Really?  ha ha ha ha ha)

4.  “I have the experience necessary to lead this Country.”  (community leader? lawyer? thanks for the compliment Obama–I’m both as well–but probably not fit to lead the US–you go right ahead and try)

3.  “I want to unite all of us.”  (“But don’t forget my grandmother is scared of black people”)

2.  “My father was brought here to learn by Kennedy.” (actually, his father came over as part of a program that the Kennedy’s contributed to–at a later time-nice try dude)

AND THE NUMBER 1 LIE OF BARACK OBAMA:

1.  “I AM NOT A LIBERAL.”  (That actually may be true as his ideas tend to lean more to socialism than liberalism)

TOP 10 LIES OF HILLARY CLINTON:

10.  “I wear a size 6 pants.” (seriously)

9.  “I was nearly shot in Serbia” (while being greeted by security and supporters and a freaking parade)

8.  “I was named after Sir Edmund Hilary” (the man who climbed Mt. Everest–problem is, he did that 5 years after she was born–ha ha ha)

7.  “Chelsea was jogging toward the towers on 9/11” (in a later interview Chelsea said she was in bed asleep on the other side of town when they were hit)

6. “I’m not some little woman standing by her man like Tammy Wynette” (wow!  sure seems that way)

5.  “When I was young I played pickup basketball”  ( I so wish I could photoshop something for this–UPDATE:  last week she declared that the 10-22 Michigan Wolverines should be the NCAA Champions-wha?)

4.  “I am an avid duck-hunter.” (she actually said this to some upstate New Yorkers–good try to get the NRA–but sorry Hillary, they hate your ever-lovin’ guts)

3.  “When I lived in Chicago I was a Yankees’ Fan.” (whatever)

2.  “I learned how to make money in the futures market from the Wall Street Journal.” (actually the Journal didn’t cover the futures market when she “made” her money in it.)

AND THE NUMBER 1 LIE OF HILLARY CLINTON:

1.  “I WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN THE IRISH PEACE PROCESS.”  (see previous post)

So with all of this lying going on–what is the message we are to glean from it all?  Is it simply okay to lie?  Should we use that as a method of getting ahead?  You say–I’m not a liar!  Let’s see:

 DO YOU EVER…

Do you ever . . . ?

– pretend to be some thing, or some one other than who and what you really are?

– smile, while hiding your true feelings about people, activities, or situations?

– say one thing while thinking something different or totally opposite?

– answer questions according to what you think the other person wants to hear, rather than the truth?

– express agreement just to avoid an argument?

– make promises which you do not intend to keep?

– say one thing aloud, while silently qualifying your statement to yourself?

– use an excuse to qualify a previous untrue statement?

– withhold certain facts and overemphasize others to lead your listener to your desired conclusion?

– omit the positive and emphasize the negative in order to obtain sympathy for yourself?

– pretend to “forget” or pretend to have “misunderstood” when it suits your purposes?

– blame others for your problems or mistakes?

– say anything other than what you are thinking out of fear of the consequences?

– use evasive answers to avoid telling the truth?

– accept only those who agree with you as having the truth?

– allege a noble reason for fulfilling a selfish desire?

– use unrevealed exaggeration to get or hold the attention of others?

– claim to want the truth when you truly want anything else?

– claim to be offended by liars and by lying, and yet you lie to others?

– condemn the lying of others, but relabel your lies with softer sounding names?

– accept and reject lies from others as it suits your personal interests?

– pretend that a lie is the truth merely because you want it to be the truth?

– hear only what you want to hear and ignore the rest?

– claim that an untruth is “for their own good”?

– claim that “the truth will do more harm than good”?

– place others in a position of having to choose whether to lie in order to spare your feelings?

– tell yourself that if it concerns something unimportant, then the truth doesn’t matter?

– tell yourself that as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, the truth doesn’t matter?

– tell yourself or others that some lies (xmas, easter bunny, social flattery) are better than the truth?

– practice denial?

– say anything other than the truth in order to manipulate others?

– pay insincere compliments in order to appear friendly?

– withhold critical information in order to appear more desirable?

– use unrevealed exaggeration to enhance your reputation?

Okay–I could go on and on–if you answered “yes” to any of these–congrats–you are a liar!  So therefore, we should not be so harsh on poor little Obama and Hillary right?

WRONG–there is a huge difference in excusing the lies of others and excusing the lies of someone who wants to lead the greatest Nation in the World.  Leaders are people that others follow.  Therefore, the single most powerful leader of this World must have integrity, honesty, compassion, determination, steadfastness, diligence, honor, self-sacrifice, boldness, and greatness.  None of these words are used to define a liar.  Higher standard?  You Bet!

-Murphy

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I’m Voting For the Belmont Basketball Team for President

March 21, 2008

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As you may have heard, last night the men of Belmont nearly rose up and defeated the #2 seed Duke.  Unfortunately they did not prevail with Duke edging them in the last few seconds 71-70.  However, as I watched this game it occurred to me that the Belmont team would make a great President.

1.  First-they were in a war that most people had decided they could not win.  Only 2% of Vegas betters had Belmont winning the game.  Nevertheless, they continued to fight hard all the way to the end, never showing any signs of defeat or signs that they believed they could not win.

2.  They played with class–they did not criticize Duke or try and belittle them as a way of making their point, they simply rose to the occassion, played better than they were expected to and showed class and stamina.

3.  They didn’t race bait–they never pointed out how “white” Duke was compared to them or how they were being oppressed by Duke or how Duke was playing a race card to get ahead.  They simply met them on the floor man to man and out-played them most of the game.

4.  They are not any more or less experienced than either Democrat candidate, nor or they any less qualified.  As for McCain–well he does have them beat on that–but they are much younger so there’s that.

In the end, the team I wanted didn’t win.  The difference–in the Fall the candidate with the most credibility, experience, stamina and integrity will win the most coveted office in Government in the World.  Sorry Obama–better luck next time.

Have a great and wonderful Easter–or at least one better than this kid:  (note to Parents–if the Easter bunny resembles the love child of Satan and Steven Tyler–probably going to make your kid cry) 

-Murphy

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