Archive for the ‘Football’ category

ALERT:President Obama is Messing With College Football!!!!

October 18, 2010

Well it seems that Democrats running for office are first running away from President Obama.  Recent articles on poll numbers suggest that everytime the President campaigns for a candidate, his/her numbers either stay the same or fall.  It would appear that his ability to cheer on his own party is not making the crowd cheer with him.  Democrats were warned when they voted for Obamacare that the voters would not forget.  Democrats were warned when they took over GM, suggested that CEO’s should have a government imposed salary cap, that people should be forced to keep their house temperature above 74 degrees that the voters would not forget.

Democrats seem to have forgotten that the Constitution (although severely watered down) is still taught in school, that many people still believe that freedom is better than Government enslavement.  Democrats have forgotten that many people know that when the Government runs something, it is run into the ground.  We have all been to the DMV, we have stood in line to obtain vehicle registrations and passports and building permits and business licenses–we know how well the Government runs things.

But Mr. President–please for the love of all that I have left to enjoy-stay away from college football.   When the President speaks somewhere, his ability to turn a race into a loss is starting to become viral.  This weekend he planned to visit and did in fact visit the campus of Ohio State University.  He scheduled the speech on Sunday but look what the mere planning of his arrival did to the game on Saturday:


1st 2nd 3rd 4th Final
 Ohio State 0 3 7 8 18
 Wisconsin 14 7 0 10 31

Ohio State was #1 in the Country and then the President announces a visit to the campus and then bam! 

So PLEASE President Obama, I would like to ask that if you have any scheduled trips to visit the University of Texas at Austin that you cancel them immediately–Don’t Mess With Texas!

-Murphy

P.S. Psssst….President Obama–I hear that Texas A&M has a fabulous conference center and would warmly welcome a visit from you sometime around say…Thanksgiving.

Poor Aggies–A Preview of What’s To Come

October 20, 2009

 

aggie1.jpg image by BearMeat1845

I’m sorry Aggie-fan, truly I am.  I normally do not post anything degrading about A&M until we are closer to the “big” game, but this is too rich. 

After a humiliating loss to Kansas State this weekend, many Aggie-fans are asking, “How did this happen?” “How could we have not been more prepared.”

Then this video was located that gives us a little insight into how Aggies prepare for games–watch and either laugh or weep depending on your point of view:

Hook’em!

-Murphy

University of Texas vs. University of Oklahoma: 2009

October 16, 2009

It’s time once again for the BIG game.  Usually I spend a blog post before this and the A&M game talking some trash about the other team.  Maybe pointing out their silly traditions or the “real” definition of a “Sooner” but after watching a moving video of Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford, I couldn’t bring myself to trash them this year.  Instead, I thought the best use of this space would be to show you this video. 

Hook ’em–and…

Boomer Sooner!

-Murphy

Governor Rod Blagojevich Actions Not His Fault

December 10, 2008

Chicago-Well we finally have something other than the economy to discuss.  Rod Blagojevich.  For months now the FBi has been suspicious of this man because how many men at his age still have this much hair?

As Jon Stewart said last night on “The Daily Show”–what is written under there that he doesn’t want us to see?  Well, I for one think that we are all being a little too hard on Mr. Blagosdfkwe=whatever.  Although–he is no stranger to corruption discussions.  In 2005 he was investigated as part of a scheme to steer pension plans from the State to his large campaign contributors.  But as he said then–he knew nothing about that.

Then, of course there were those silly rumors that he was actually gay.  But that is just plain ridiculous.

The reality is, the Governor was not breaking the law.  Sure he is being charged with tons of crimes including bribery and corruption, but he is right that the “bleeping” Senate office left vacant President-Elect Obama is a “bleeping” important office and it shouldn’t be simply given away for “bleeping” free.  After all–the economy is in the tank and how can Illinois afford to have a Governor that cannot afford to feed his own family.  I mean look at the tiny house he lives in:

Pathetic.  Why I would rather sleep in a cardboard box–at least I would have my dignity.  Plus his salary is a little over a paltry $177K per year–not even “rich” under Obama’s standards.  It is such a shame–with the economy hurting and organized crime needing their payoffs in Chicago, even Oprah is stressed and laying on the weight again.

So are we to condemn this man–this friend of our new President, for a couple of poor decisions related to finances?

I say “No”–let’s look instead at the real problem.  Of course, there is the underlying issue of the “failed policies of the Bush administration” that is the cause of our financial woes (not the mortgage crises or unions or socialist policies of the left)–But the real problem–the root of all of our current angst and anxiety-

The root of all evil and the example of all things wrong with our society:

Yes, the BCS–it is clear that if we had a playoff system, or if UT was rightfully playing for the National Championship, then we would not have Governors of States like Illinois making such irrational decisions.  Clearly, this disruption in the natural order of things has caused poor Blogaofeviehsasdfasdthek  to not think clearly and to say things he must not mean.

So join with me in anticipating the Democrat response–blame Bush (obviously)–but let’s blame the real culprits–after all we do not live in a society where personal responsibility means anything–so in anticipating the need for a scapegoat–I offer the BCS…and of course, the Oklahoma Sooners.

-Murphy

(if you would like to donate to the Blogovsicheisgheih criminal defense fund–just send it directly to the “Office of the President Elect”  if you can locate such an office–after all–the US believes Obama can spend our money better than we can ourselves–I’m sure this is no exception)

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Thanksgiving Post: What Am I Thankful For?

November 25, 2008

In a year that has gone south in many ways for me (economics, market, election, Texas/Texas Tech game, turning 40, hairline) there are so many things to be thankful for.  Thanksgiving should be a time to reflect on such things leading up to the “big one” on December 25–the day that matters most.  So I thought I would let you know what I am thankful for- in a time where many people are not giving thanks.  So, in no particular order:

I.  AMERICA

I am thankful I live in the United States of America, which, as of today, is still the “land of the free” and the “home of the brave.”  I am thankful that since 9/11/01 there have been no terrorist attacks on our shores.  I am thankful that our airports, planes and buildings have remained safe in the last 7 years.   I am thankful for our troops.

They continue to work tirelessly to protect our freedom and to protect the citizens of Iraq from attacks.  They are true heroes and I am so thankful for them.  I am thankful for our President.  Yes, I know the polls and the pundits suggest that I shouldn’t be, but I am.  President Bush has worked hard to keep my children safe and has worked in an environment filled with the most vile, nasty, and undeserved attacks from members of the Democrat Party, yet, he has never failed to get up each day and do his best for our Nation.  I have not always agreed with him, but I am so very thankful for him and the job he has done.  So–Thank you Mr. President–you do a job that most Americans cannot and would not (hmmm..maybe an illegal immigrant should run for office–but I digress)

II.  FAMILY

No, I am not related to John Patterson.  Unlike this guy, I am very thankful for my family.  My wife, 3 kids, parents, in-laws, sister, nieces and nephews.  Although all families are imperfect, I am thankful that mine is perfectly normal and that so far, they have not decided to leave me.   I am thankful that my kids are healthy and do well in school and seem to be wary of morality and ethics.  I am thankful that my wife works tirelessly to make sure they are taught right and wrong and are well taken care of.  I am thankful that my parents and in-laws are still here and healthy and enjoy spending time with us.

III.   MISCELLAENOUS

A.  Dark Chocolate

Duh!  There is no greater sweetness.

B.  Colt McCoy

Yes, the entire Texas Longhorn team is great this year, but without McCoy, the team would certainly be in a different position in the polls and the National Title Race.  So I am thankful for him.

C.  The Gas Conspiracy

You know—either the Bush conspiracy–that Bush drove up the prices from his Oval Office Supercomputer to help his buddies at Big Oil, OR–the Obama conspiracy–that the Middle East drove up the prices to make the Country believe in the Bush conspiracy so that voters would chose Obama only to have the prices fall just after the election.  Well whichever fantasy you think is correct–the outcome is the same.  I am thankful that my Camry now costs $26 to fill up instead of $60 and that my Suburban costs $48 instead of $100.

D.  Hillary Clinton

I know, you are shocked that I would list her on my “thankful” list.  But I am thankful that she has been taken out of the Senate.  No longer will I have to listen to her pontificate about health care or some other socialist agenda item on C-Span.  Now she will be going to the Middle East to “impress” the Saudi’s–ha that is really funny.  For that I am thankful.

IV.  GOD

Finally, and primarily, I am thankful to God.  Thankful to Him for all of the above and so much more.  Thankful that His hand has not left my family or our Country.  Thankful that He continues to bless my life and the lives of those in my family and circle of friends.  Thankful that all of our needs continue to be provided.  Thankful that regardless of elections, stock markets, gas prices or National Championships, He remains faithful and constant.

God Bless you, your family, your job, your finances and your health.  And I wish you all–yes even you silly Democrats who get on here and call me names–even you guys—I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.

-Murphy

Texas vs. Texas A&M-POOR AGGIES!

November 19, 2008

I know, I shouldn’t beat up on a team that is 4-7 and just lost by 20 to BAYLOR.  Yes, Baylor!  But it is now an annual tradition.  Here at MK’s Conservative Blog, we like to take a moment out each year to discuss our rivals, the Aggies.  After all, there is so much material to work with.  Last year I made a valiant effort to disclose the outright craziness of the Aggie Traditions, from grabbing your crotch during a yell to burying the mascot so he can see the scoreboard–from underground.  (See Previous Post)

So this year we need a new angle.  Instead of making some boring list about why the Aggies need to be made fun of and why they are so deserving.  Here are some pictures, jokes and a short interview that tells the story all by themselves:

Yell Leaders by sarowen (camera is being repaired...).

“Now Bubba and Cletus, when the two bulls come out we will hold down your back while you try and kick ’em.”

(whispering)-{sorry I can’t caption this one–you do it and keep it PG}

“Um…Hey Buford, do you hear a kind of ‘clank, bbbrpppbbb, clank’ sound?”

{an oldie but goodie}:

All boarded up and ready for the hurricane–that is, if it actually comes from inside the store.

“Go ahead, make one more joke about the Christmas lights”

(fast forward to 2012)-“And annoucing the Democratic candidate for the Texas Senate Seat…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Darth Aggie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And the winner of this year’s academic scholarship to Texas A&M is…”

“You know Roscoe, you were right, the truck won’t float even though it is still hitched to the boat.”

And a few jokes–just for fun:

How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
            Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
            On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
            It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!

Finally, a short interview with an A&M student:

Our team of investigators met up with this Aggie fan named Mike:

Q:  So how do you feel about having a losing season right now?

A:  We ain’t losing, we still haven’t played TU.

Q:  Yes, but your record is 4-7–how does that make you feel as a devoted fan?

A:  Our record is nuthin’ until we play TU, understand?

Q:  No, but I’ll transition into something else?

A:  You can turn into another being?

Q:  NO!, I mean I’ll move on…so, speaking of the rivalry, what are you doing to prepare for the Texas game?

A:  There is no “Texas game” there is an A&M game where we open up a 6 pack of whoop-a** on TU.

Q:  Semantics aside…

A:  I did not do well in Geometry so let’s talk about something else.

Q: Um…okay  what do you do on game day to prepare?

A:  Well, this year it is back on Turkey Day as you know, and I’ll be eating a couple of Turkeys and then proabably get a big bowl of stuffin’ and maybe some candied yams and some green bean casserole and then I’ll have some lunch  and make the drive to A-town and watch TU get their butts turned inside out.

Q:  Okay, I’m not sure what that means exactly but I think I get the point.  So  if A&M goes 1-11 that is okay with you so long as they beat Tex..er.. I mean TU?

A:  Maybe you don’t understand what I’m saying.  There is no record until after we beat TU-which in the last 3 years we have done 2 times so get ready for some whoopin’

Q:  Great, well have a great time at the game.

A:  You too, hey, you gonna eat those fries…

-Murphy

PS:  Eric Chamble calls in to the unofficial MKCB show and asks the fans of the site:  “How does A&M feel knowing that their rival was once Texas, then Texas Tech and now they have to say that their real rival is Baylor?”

As always MKCB thanks Eric for his insightful and obviously cynical and sarcastic question–We love that stuff here.  🙂

University of Texas vs. Sooners 2008

October 7, 2008

 



 

Last year I posted about this game and predicted at 35-21 beating by OU.  (Actual score was 28-21 OU).  OU was fresh off a loss as was UT but Colt McCoy really didn’t have the offense in synch last year and OU was cooking pretty well.

Now they are 1 and 5 in the polls, undefeated, both clicking on all cylinders and…I’m terrified to watch the game–but watch I must.

Above is my favorite Internet picture of the sooners–a small sooner boy, hoping against hope that he can muster up a 2.5 gpa in High School so that he can attend his favorite college, the University of Oklahoma–and there he is watching his team get beat by its biggest rival.  Poor little kid.  But what of the J’Ville fan who lost to Davidson by 35 points–no one seems to care about him.

Well, as I am apt to do, it seems fitting to make fun of our rival’s school traditions–if for no other reason than–it is fun.  So here are some Sooner Traditions, straight from the School’s actual website:

1.  School Color Confusion

Turns out the school colors are “crimson and cream.”  Really, they are.  Let’s see…

Crimson & Cream

Odd…the page describing the colors shows this photo–hey elitists-that is red and white!

2.  The Band

Most college campuses like to talk about how their marching band began as a military band and was made up of soon-to-be soldiers.  The OU website has this to proudly say about its band:

The Pride of Oklahoma

“The Pride of Oklahoma Marching Band has been supporting Sooner Spirit for nearly a century. Unlike many other college bands, which began as military drill units, the Pride of Oklahoma had its beginnings as a pep band.”

Wow.  So they are excited about the fact that it was actually formed from a “pep band.” 

3.  Sooner actually means Cheater

This is my favorite.  The website wants to explain to you why they are called the “Sooners.”  It states the following:

“The origins of Oklahoma’s nickname stretch back to the Civil War era. The Homestead Act of 1862 provided that a legal settler could claim 160 acres of public land, and those who lived on and improved the claim for five years could receive title.”Boomers” were settlers who favored the opening of unassigned lands in the Oklahoma Territory.  At high noon on April 22, 1889, legal aspirants would be able to enter the Oklahoma Territory and choose 160 acres of land. The event soon became known as the “Oklahoma Land Run” or “Land Run of 1889″.  The great dramatic moment came when, at the stroke of noon, starting signals were given at the many points of entry. In some instances it was given by a blue-clad military officer firing his pistol or by his trumpeter, at times by a citizen firing his rifle in the air, or, as at Fort Reno, by the boom of a cannon. All produced the same results — a tumultuous avalanche of wagons and horsemen surging forward all in one breathtaking instant.”
 
Okay–so that would explain why you might call them the “Boomers” but why “Sooner?”  Read on:

“One of the few rules to claiming a lot of land was that all participants were to start at the same time. Those who went too soon were called ‘Sooners’.”

So “Sooner” is a word meant for those lawbreaking individuals who decided to evade the rules, cheat, and grab land before the designated time.   Well, isn’t that interesting in light of Barry Switzer’s reign at the University?  But wait, the website, like a well crafted Obama speech, spins it a little differently:

“As time went on, “Sooner” came to be a synonym of Progressivism. The Sooner was an “energetic individual who travels ahead of the human procession.” He was prosperous, ambitious, competent, a “can-do” individual. And Oklahoma was the Sooner State, the land of opportunity, enterprise and economic expansion, very much in the Progressive spirit that engulfed the old South in the 1920s.”

Excellent work spin meisters–Sooner doesn’t mean Cheater–it describes someone who is ahead of human achievement–yes ahead because they CHEATED!

4.  That Annoying Song

Yes, almost no school is more annoying than Texas A&M with their ridiculous fight song and cheers, but this one is brilliant.  I have to think that the words to this song were actually penned by someone who was given the task of writing it, but forgot to write it until the day he was supposed to present it:

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, OK U!
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, OK U!
I’m a Sooner born and Sooner bred
and when I die, I’ll be Sooner dead
Rah Oklahoma, Rah Oklahoma
Rah Oklahoma, OK U!

Seriously?  “and when I die, I’ll be Sooner dead?”  What in sweet Moses does that mean?  That is the best rhyme you could come up with for the word bred?  What about “instead” or “red” or “bed” or “led” or “bled” or “fed” or anything but “dead?” 

Well, all I can say OU is that you better bring your “A” game this weekend or you may find yourself “Sooner dead” on the field of the Cotton Bowl.

Hook ’em.

Bold prediction:  Texas 31, OU 24

-Murphy

Texas vs. Arkansas–The Game of The Century

September 24, 2008

Well I must admit that I love University of Texas football even more than finding new and improved ways of making fun of Democrats.  This weekend the matchup between these two Southwest Conference Rivals will finally take place.  Originally scheduled during Hurricane Ike, the Razorbacks will travel to Austin to face their old rival.  This game should be a blowout for Texas, who is riding a three game string of blowouts on Colt McCoy’s incredibly efficient passing game.  He has thrown 11 touchdowns and only 1 interception through 3 games against teams that were certainly unevenly matched.

This game unfortunately will not be close to the greatest game between these two teams of all time–the 1969 “Game of the Century.”  For true Longhorn fans–take a look:

Is the clarinet player actually crying?  Probably because most of the Texas Fight songs don’t really feature the clarinet.  Or maybe because she had a bet on Arkansas.  Either way–ABC choosing to focus on the emotional band player shows that programing has not really changed much in 39 years.

From Wikipedia:

“President Richard Nixon attended the game along with several members of his staff and U.S. Representatives George H.W. Bush of Texas and John Paul Hammerschmidt of Arkansas, having announced that he would give a plaque to the winner, proclaiming it to be the National Champion — to the chagrin of observers who thought it premature to do so before the New Year’s Day bowl games, and of fans of Penn State, which would also end the season undefeated. Texas came from behind to win, 15-14, and accepted Nixon’s plaque. Texas beat Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl, and removed any doubt as to whether it deserved consideration as National Champion, although Penn State fans still insist that their team, also undefeated and winner of the Orange Bowl, was better. However, it is worth noting that the Cotton Bowl first invited Penn State to play the Southwest Conference champions. The Nittany Lions declined the invitation, preferring to spend New Year’s Day in warm Miami, where they defeated Big 8 champion Missouri. The 1969 Texas-Penn State conflict, never settled on the field, has been one of the major arguments in favor of a Division I-A playoff. Arkansas lost the Sugar Bowl to Archie Manning-led Ole Miss (ironically, Arkansas ended up joining the SEC in 1992). The entire Texas-Penn State debate and Nixon’s involvement led to a quote from Penn State coach Joe Paterno, a conservative Republican, during a commencement speech at Penn State in 1974 about Nixon, “How could Nixon know so much about college football in 1969 and so little about Watergate in 1973?””

“This game has been nicknamed “Dixie’s Last Stand,” since it was the last major American sporting event played between two all-white teams, although two schools in the Southeastern Conference (SEC), LSU and Ole Miss, did not integrate their varsity football squads until 1972.”

But my favorite “fact” from the game is:

“With the Vietnam War still raging and Nixon in attendance, protestors came to the game, and one of them got into a tree overlooking the stadium and held up an antiwar sign. An urban legend grew up around this game, claiming that this protestor was Arkansas native and future President Bill Clinton. Clinton, however, was not at the game, as he was then a Rhodes Scholar at the University of Oxford in England, and was listening to the game on a shortwave radio with some American friends.”

It would have been awesome though if he really was at the game with an anti-war sign–my sources say that in fact it was John Kerry that was there protesting, fresh from throwing his medals over the fence at the White House…but I digress.

It is important to note however, that Mack Brown’s success against the Hogs has been, well, limited. 

January 1, 2000:  Cotton Bowl:  14th Ranked Texas vs. 24th Ranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 6, RESULT?  Arkansas 27  Texas 6

September 13, 2003:  UT Stadium:  6th Ranked Texas vs. Unranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 13, RESULT?  Arkansas 38  Texas 28

September 11, 2004:  Razorback Stadium:  7th Ranked Texas vs. Unranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 11, RESULT?  Texas 22 Arkansas 20.

YIKES!

But how can we really be scared?  Arkansas has shown little ability to win this year and after all check out this tradition–quoted directly from their athletic department website:

“The words to the Hog call are simple:

 “Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie!

“Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie!

“Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie! Razorbacks!”

          But correctly calling the Hogs takes some practice. It starts with both hands raised high into the air, fingers waving as the volume increases during the word Woooooooooo. The arms pump down on the word Pig and then back into the air on the word Sooie. Give it a try.”

“Give it a try???”  I think not.

Here it is in case YOU want to “give it a try:”

HOG CALL

Seriously?

If you go to the game this week, I think you will see a UT victory.  I predict UT 35, Arkansas 17.  Just pray you don’t run in to this guy:

I’m a pretty serious fan, but there is serious, and then there is unstable.

-Murphy

Why I May Have to Stop Supporting The Texas Longhorns

February 22, 2008

As some of you may know, I’m a HUGE UT Longhorn fan.  I’ve had season tickets to the football games every years since 1990.  I’ve been too the Cotton Bowl to see them play and I’ve been to 2 Big 12 Championship games.  But this morning, I threw up in my mouth a lot when I saw this:

obama-horns.jpg

I’m sorry Mack but I am not supporting a team with that guy as a player.  And I can only hope that Colt McCoy is laughing at how stupid this whole spectacle is.  But wait there’s more–here is Obama doing his OJ impersonation:

obama-heisman.jpg

Okay, that wasn’t fair, OJ wasn’t the only guy to win the Heisman–but seriously–he looks a bit, um, ridiculous.  When I see stuff like this I have to continually remind myself of the lesson I learned a few weeks ago: “IN A CIVILIZED SOCIETY, ONE CANNOT SEND A SEVERED COW’S HEAD TO ANYBODY.”

If he wanted to hold something realistic that truly supports who he is as a person and his way of thinking, he should have been holding up this:

4poster.jpg

-Murphy

 

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Texas A&M-Rich with Tradition-Poor with Winning (A UT vs. A&M Preview)

November 20, 2007

Let me start by saying it is great to be back blogging after a 5 day trip to Napa Valley–which was awesome!!!  I suggest it to anyone that even thinks they like wine a little–very educational, eye-opening, elegant and relaxing. 

Now-first please read my good friend Laurie Kendrick’s write-up on the upcoming game at THEE Rivalry

To continue these thoughts–I went to the University of Texas (as if that is not obvious by my banner above–yes Aggie-fan–that means the cute picture-thingy at the top of this computer screen).  I graduated in 1990.  When I entered in 1986, having grown up in a burnt orange home, I always rooted against the Aggies but I had no “hatred” for them, after all–it was just a friendly rivalry.  Then I made the foolish decision to actually go to Kyle Field and see a game in 1987 and again in 1989.  In case you don’t know this from 1986-1989 the Longhorns were in the middle of what ended in 1989 as a 6 game loosing streak against the Aggies.  After my expereinces there and since I have grown to what I can best call a healthy despise of the aggies.

Let me try and describe the experience of going to an A&M game at Kyle field as a Longhorn.–First of all, 99.9% of the vehicles in College Station were red, maroon or some form of either.  Then I noticed that on the way to the game I was driving in part on a main street there called “Texas”  (first odd thing I noticed–well there was the over abundance of sheep–but I digress).  I then sit down in the “stadium” to watch the Longhorns get beat all the while having a 40+ fan consistently turn around and yell in my face that we “suck.”  (by the end of the game it sounded like “such” because of the MadDog he was drinking from a flask).

Then there was the constant monotonus cheering led by these “guys:”

Yell leaders

Arent’ they cute?

Cheers like umm… this gem:

Squads left, Squads right! Farmers, Farmers, we’re all right!Load, ready, aim, fire, BOOM!A&M! Give us room!

Seriously?  Farmer, Farmer we’re all right?  I would laugh but I can’t make this stuff up.  How about this one?  (I think it was written by a grad student)

 Gig ‘em
[Pass Back: Closed fist with thumb pointed straight up]

Aaaaaaaa
Gig ‘em, Aggies!

Yep-that’s it.  Okay–for the more intelligent crowd they have this one–read it slowly so you can really get it:

Aggies
[Pass Back: Hands flat, with index fingers and thumbs touching to form an “A”]

A-G-G-I-E-S
A-G-G-I-E-S
Aaaaaaaa
Fight ‘em, Aggies!

Whew!  That one gave me a headache.  I tried to form the A and got a cramp in my forearm.  Okay, this one is also real–I pulled them from their own website–seriously–this is not a joke–I’m not kidding–I mean it:

Horse Laugh
[Pass Back: Hands with fingers straight are held palms together, and then hands move back and forth in a pointing motion]

Riffety, riffety, riff-raff!
Chiffity, chiffity, chiff-chaff!
Riff-raff! Chiff-chaff!
Let’s give ‘em a horse laugh:
Sssssss!

Sorry–had to go and wash my face.  Just typing it made me shoot Diet Dr. Pepper right through the nose.

But enough of the cheers, A&M is rich in its musical tradition–take a gander if you will at the words to this song:

“Saw Varsity’s Horns Off”
(Normally follows the singing of The Aggie War Hymn)

Saw Varsity’s horns off!
Saw Varsity’s horns off!
Saw Varsity’s horns off!
Short!
Varsity’s horns are sawed off!
Varsity’s horns are sawed off!
Varsity’s horns are sawed off!
Short!

 You know–if only Sinatra were still around to see this one.  But I should be ashamed of myself really–after all A&M is rich in tradition.  For example:

There is that cute dog “Reveille”

 Reveille, the first lady of Aggieland, is the official mascot of Texas A&M University. She is the highest ranking member of the Corps of Cadets, and she is a Five-Star General.”  (these are actual quotes from the A&M traditions webpage–I so wish I was kidding, hey we need more Generals on the ground in Iraq so I suggest…)

“When Reveille I died on January 18, 1944, she was given a formal military funeral on the gridiron of Kyle Field. She was then buried at the north entrance to the field, as all Reveilles are, facing the scoreboard so that she can always watch the Aggies outscore their opponent.”  (yes facing the scoreboard–of course, they would have to have the superpower of being able to see through dirt and of course, NOT BE DEAD)

“If she is sleeping on a cadet’s bed, that cadet must sleep on the floor. Cadets address Reveille as “Miss Rev, ma’am.” If she is in class and barks while the professor is teaching, the class is to be immediately dismissed.”  (this tradition has long been thought to be the reason many professors from Harvard are dying to work at A&M).

Or how about that Aggie Ring:

 “One of the greatest moments in the life of any Aggie is the day that they receive their Aggie Ring.” (how about graduating, getting married, the birth of their first kid–so secondary to the ring if you think about it)

“The ring worn by all Aggie graduates is the same except for the class year. This serves as a common link for former students. When an Aggie sees the ring on another Aggie’s hand, a spontaneous reunion occurs.” (which is much like spontaneous combustion–only without the carnage-sadly)

“Everything seen on the ring represents a value that an Aggie should hold. On the top is a large shield, which symbolizes the desire to protect the reputation of the university. The 13 stripes on the shield represent the 13 original states of America. The five stars on the shield refer to the phases of development of any Aggie: mind or intellect; body; spiritual attainment; emotional poise; and integrity of character. The eagle symbolizes agility and power, and the ability to reach great heights.” (a value every Aggie should hold is to shun all but the original 13 states–which by the way Aggie-fan–Texas wasn’t one of those!!!)

“Traditionally, students wear their ring with the class year facing them to signify the fact that their time at A&M is not yet complete. During Senior Weekend at the annual Ring Dance, the student’s ring is turned around to face the world proudly, just as the Aggie graduate will be ready to face the world.” (Yes they have a “ring dance”–AAAAAHHH!!!!)

The official greeting at A&M is “Howdy.”  Very collegiate don’t you think?

My favorite though has to be when the corp gets their “squeeze on.”

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 This is where–okay–I really am not making this up—Apparently the corp members crowd together at critical times during a game and squeeze their testicles in order to feel the pain of the players and inspire the team.

There is nothing I can say that would be funnier than the truth–and apparently the truth really does hurt.  I will say this–I sincerely hope that these “boys” pass out from the pain of sqeezing so hard on Friday in an attempt to create an offense where one doesn’t exist, to create an inspiring coach where one doesn’t exist and to continue a tradition where numerous ones exist—like the tradition of the Aggies getting beat during Thanksgiving.

Hey Aggie Fan:  Here is an Inconvenient Truth for ya–From 1894 to 2006:  UT-73 wins; A&M-35 wins and 5 ties.  In a best case scenario, A&M would not be able to tie the all-time series until I was 77 years old!  (See Aggie Fan you take 73 minus 35 and you get 38, then you add that to my age [39] and you get 77–read this explanation slowly and I know you will get it).

  Hook’em!

-Murphy