Archive for the ‘College’ category

ALERT:President Obama is Messing With College Football!!!!

October 18, 2010

Well it seems that Democrats running for office are first running away from President Obama.  Recent articles on poll numbers suggest that everytime the President campaigns for a candidate, his/her numbers either stay the same or fall.  It would appear that his ability to cheer on his own party is not making the crowd cheer with him.  Democrats were warned when they voted for Obamacare that the voters would not forget.  Democrats were warned when they took over GM, suggested that CEO’s should have a government imposed salary cap, that people should be forced to keep their house temperature above 74 degrees that the voters would not forget.

Democrats seem to have forgotten that the Constitution (although severely watered down) is still taught in school, that many people still believe that freedom is better than Government enslavement.  Democrats have forgotten that many people know that when the Government runs something, it is run into the ground.  We have all been to the DMV, we have stood in line to obtain vehicle registrations and passports and building permits and business licenses–we know how well the Government runs things.

But Mr. President–please for the love of all that I have left to enjoy-stay away from college football.   When the President speaks somewhere, his ability to turn a race into a loss is starting to become viral.  This weekend he planned to visit and did in fact visit the campus of Ohio State University.  He scheduled the speech on Sunday but look what the mere planning of his arrival did to the game on Saturday:


1st 2nd 3rd 4th Final
 Ohio State 0 3 7 8 18
 Wisconsin 14 7 0 10 31

Ohio State was #1 in the Country and then the President announces a visit to the campus and then bam! 

So PLEASE President Obama, I would like to ask that if you have any scheduled trips to visit the University of Texas at Austin that you cancel them immediately–Don’t Mess With Texas!

-Murphy

P.S. Psssst….President Obama–I hear that Texas A&M has a fabulous conference center and would warmly welcome a visit from you sometime around say…Thanksgiving.

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Poor Aggies–A Preview of What’s To Come

October 20, 2009

 

aggie1.jpg image by BearMeat1845

I’m sorry Aggie-fan, truly I am.  I normally do not post anything degrading about A&M until we are closer to the “big” game, but this is too rich. 

After a humiliating loss to Kansas State this weekend, many Aggie-fans are asking, “How did this happen?” “How could we have not been more prepared.”

Then this video was located that gives us a little insight into how Aggies prepare for games–watch and either laugh or weep depending on your point of view:

Hook’em!

-Murphy

March Madness-Obama Style!

March 19, 2009

Yes, its that time again when we all get excited about the NCAA tournament.  Well, I get excited about it.  But even more thrilling today was an inside peek we received here at MKCB!  I was able to obtain a copy of President Obama’s schedule from yesterday and I thought in the spirit of madness I would share it with you.

presentation1

Isn’t this cool?  Who would have thought that the President was so into the NCAA bracket challenge?  Well, I guess the Duke Coach didn’t like it so much.  Here is what he had to say about it:  “Somebody said that we’re not in President Obama’s Final Four, and as much as I respect what he’s doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets,” Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said from the Blue Devils’ first-round site in Greensboro, N.C.”

Wow!  Coach Mike are you insane?  I mean, I’m sorry that Obama didn’t pick Duke to win, but seriously you have to lay off the guy.  That 3 hours he spent making his picks were 3 hours he wasn’t doing something to ruin our economy.  I hope he gets so addicted to gambling he forgets all about his socialist, government expanding intrusion plan into our lives. 

-Murphy

Texas vs. Texas A&M-POOR AGGIES!

November 19, 2008

I know, I shouldn’t beat up on a team that is 4-7 and just lost by 20 to BAYLOR.  Yes, Baylor!  But it is now an annual tradition.  Here at MK’s Conservative Blog, we like to take a moment out each year to discuss our rivals, the Aggies.  After all, there is so much material to work with.  Last year I made a valiant effort to disclose the outright craziness of the Aggie Traditions, from grabbing your crotch during a yell to burying the mascot so he can see the scoreboard–from underground.  (See Previous Post)

So this year we need a new angle.  Instead of making some boring list about why the Aggies need to be made fun of and why they are so deserving.  Here are some pictures, jokes and a short interview that tells the story all by themselves:

Yell Leaders by sarowen (camera is being repaired...).

“Now Bubba and Cletus, when the two bulls come out we will hold down your back while you try and kick ’em.”

(whispering)-{sorry I can’t caption this one–you do it and keep it PG}

“Um…Hey Buford, do you hear a kind of ‘clank, bbbrpppbbb, clank’ sound?”

{an oldie but goodie}:

All boarded up and ready for the hurricane–that is, if it actually comes from inside the store.

“Go ahead, make one more joke about the Christmas lights”

(fast forward to 2012)-“And annoucing the Democratic candidate for the Texas Senate Seat…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Darth Aggie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And the winner of this year’s academic scholarship to Texas A&M is…”

“You know Roscoe, you were right, the truck won’t float even though it is still hitched to the boat.”

And a few jokes–just for fun:

How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
            Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
            On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
            It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!

Finally, a short interview with an A&M student:

Our team of investigators met up with this Aggie fan named Mike:

Q:  So how do you feel about having a losing season right now?

A:  We ain’t losing, we still haven’t played TU.

Q:  Yes, but your record is 4-7–how does that make you feel as a devoted fan?

A:  Our record is nuthin’ until we play TU, understand?

Q:  No, but I’ll transition into something else?

A:  You can turn into another being?

Q:  NO!, I mean I’ll move on…so, speaking of the rivalry, what are you doing to prepare for the Texas game?

A:  There is no “Texas game” there is an A&M game where we open up a 6 pack of whoop-a** on TU.

Q:  Semantics aside…

A:  I did not do well in Geometry so let’s talk about something else.

Q: Um…okay  what do you do on game day to prepare?

A:  Well, this year it is back on Turkey Day as you know, and I’ll be eating a couple of Turkeys and then proabably get a big bowl of stuffin’ and maybe some candied yams and some green bean casserole and then I’ll have some lunch  and make the drive to A-town and watch TU get their butts turned inside out.

Q:  Okay, I’m not sure what that means exactly but I think I get the point.  So  if A&M goes 1-11 that is okay with you so long as they beat Tex..er.. I mean TU?

A:  Maybe you don’t understand what I’m saying.  There is no record until after we beat TU-which in the last 3 years we have done 2 times so get ready for some whoopin’

Q:  Great, well have a great time at the game.

A:  You too, hey, you gonna eat those fries…

-Murphy

PS:  Eric Chamble calls in to the unofficial MKCB show and asks the fans of the site:  “How does A&M feel knowing that their rival was once Texas, then Texas Tech and now they have to say that their real rival is Baylor?”

As always MKCB thanks Eric for his insightful and obviously cynical and sarcastic question–We love that stuff here.  🙂

University of Texas vs. Sooners 2008

October 7, 2008

 



 

Last year I posted about this game and predicted at 35-21 beating by OU.  (Actual score was 28-21 OU).  OU was fresh off a loss as was UT but Colt McCoy really didn’t have the offense in synch last year and OU was cooking pretty well.

Now they are 1 and 5 in the polls, undefeated, both clicking on all cylinders and…I’m terrified to watch the game–but watch I must.

Above is my favorite Internet picture of the sooners–a small sooner boy, hoping against hope that he can muster up a 2.5 gpa in High School so that he can attend his favorite college, the University of Oklahoma–and there he is watching his team get beat by its biggest rival.  Poor little kid.  But what of the J’Ville fan who lost to Davidson by 35 points–no one seems to care about him.

Well, as I am apt to do, it seems fitting to make fun of our rival’s school traditions–if for no other reason than–it is fun.  So here are some Sooner Traditions, straight from the School’s actual website:

1.  School Color Confusion

Turns out the school colors are “crimson and cream.”  Really, they are.  Let’s see…

Crimson & Cream

Odd…the page describing the colors shows this photo–hey elitists-that is red and white!

2.  The Band

Most college campuses like to talk about how their marching band began as a military band and was made up of soon-to-be soldiers.  The OU website has this to proudly say about its band:

The Pride of Oklahoma

“The Pride of Oklahoma Marching Band has been supporting Sooner Spirit for nearly a century. Unlike many other college bands, which began as military drill units, the Pride of Oklahoma had its beginnings as a pep band.”

Wow.  So they are excited about the fact that it was actually formed from a “pep band.” 

3.  Sooner actually means Cheater

This is my favorite.  The website wants to explain to you why they are called the “Sooners.”  It states the following:

“The origins of Oklahoma’s nickname stretch back to the Civil War era. The Homestead Act of 1862 provided that a legal settler could claim 160 acres of public land, and those who lived on and improved the claim for five years could receive title.”Boomers” were settlers who favored the opening of unassigned lands in the Oklahoma Territory.  At high noon on April 22, 1889, legal aspirants would be able to enter the Oklahoma Territory and choose 160 acres of land. The event soon became known as the “Oklahoma Land Run” or “Land Run of 1889″.  The great dramatic moment came when, at the stroke of noon, starting signals were given at the many points of entry. In some instances it was given by a blue-clad military officer firing his pistol or by his trumpeter, at times by a citizen firing his rifle in the air, or, as at Fort Reno, by the boom of a cannon. All produced the same results — a tumultuous avalanche of wagons and horsemen surging forward all in one breathtaking instant.”
 
Okay–so that would explain why you might call them the “Boomers” but why “Sooner?”  Read on:

“One of the few rules to claiming a lot of land was that all participants were to start at the same time. Those who went too soon were called ‘Sooners’.”

So “Sooner” is a word meant for those lawbreaking individuals who decided to evade the rules, cheat, and grab land before the designated time.   Well, isn’t that interesting in light of Barry Switzer’s reign at the University?  But wait, the website, like a well crafted Obama speech, spins it a little differently:

“As time went on, “Sooner” came to be a synonym of Progressivism. The Sooner was an “energetic individual who travels ahead of the human procession.” He was prosperous, ambitious, competent, a “can-do” individual. And Oklahoma was the Sooner State, the land of opportunity, enterprise and economic expansion, very much in the Progressive spirit that engulfed the old South in the 1920s.”

Excellent work spin meisters–Sooner doesn’t mean Cheater–it describes someone who is ahead of human achievement–yes ahead because they CHEATED!

4.  That Annoying Song

Yes, almost no school is more annoying than Texas A&M with their ridiculous fight song and cheers, but this one is brilliant.  I have to think that the words to this song were actually penned by someone who was given the task of writing it, but forgot to write it until the day he was supposed to present it:

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, OK U!
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, OK U!
I’m a Sooner born and Sooner bred
and when I die, I’ll be Sooner dead
Rah Oklahoma, Rah Oklahoma
Rah Oklahoma, OK U!

Seriously?  “and when I die, I’ll be Sooner dead?”  What in sweet Moses does that mean?  That is the best rhyme you could come up with for the word bred?  What about “instead” or “red” or “bed” or “led” or “bled” or “fed” or anything but “dead?” 

Well, all I can say OU is that you better bring your “A” game this weekend or you may find yourself “Sooner dead” on the field of the Cotton Bowl.

Hook ’em.

Bold prediction:  Texas 31, OU 24

-Murphy

Texas vs. Arkansas–The Game of The Century

September 24, 2008

Well I must admit that I love University of Texas football even more than finding new and improved ways of making fun of Democrats.  This weekend the matchup between these two Southwest Conference Rivals will finally take place.  Originally scheduled during Hurricane Ike, the Razorbacks will travel to Austin to face their old rival.  This game should be a blowout for Texas, who is riding a three game string of blowouts on Colt McCoy’s incredibly efficient passing game.  He has thrown 11 touchdowns and only 1 interception through 3 games against teams that were certainly unevenly matched.

This game unfortunately will not be close to the greatest game between these two teams of all time–the 1969 “Game of the Century.”  For true Longhorn fans–take a look:

Is the clarinet player actually crying?  Probably because most of the Texas Fight songs don’t really feature the clarinet.  Or maybe because she had a bet on Arkansas.  Either way–ABC choosing to focus on the emotional band player shows that programing has not really changed much in 39 years.

From Wikipedia:

“President Richard Nixon attended the game along with several members of his staff and U.S. Representatives George H.W. Bush of Texas and John Paul Hammerschmidt of Arkansas, having announced that he would give a plaque to the winner, proclaiming it to be the National Champion — to the chagrin of observers who thought it premature to do so before the New Year’s Day bowl games, and of fans of Penn State, which would also end the season undefeated. Texas came from behind to win, 15-14, and accepted Nixon’s plaque. Texas beat Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl, and removed any doubt as to whether it deserved consideration as National Champion, although Penn State fans still insist that their team, also undefeated and winner of the Orange Bowl, was better. However, it is worth noting that the Cotton Bowl first invited Penn State to play the Southwest Conference champions. The Nittany Lions declined the invitation, preferring to spend New Year’s Day in warm Miami, where they defeated Big 8 champion Missouri. The 1969 Texas-Penn State conflict, never settled on the field, has been one of the major arguments in favor of a Division I-A playoff. Arkansas lost the Sugar Bowl to Archie Manning-led Ole Miss (ironically, Arkansas ended up joining the SEC in 1992). The entire Texas-Penn State debate and Nixon’s involvement led to a quote from Penn State coach Joe Paterno, a conservative Republican, during a commencement speech at Penn State in 1974 about Nixon, “How could Nixon know so much about college football in 1969 and so little about Watergate in 1973?””

“This game has been nicknamed “Dixie’s Last Stand,” since it was the last major American sporting event played between two all-white teams, although two schools in the Southeastern Conference (SEC), LSU and Ole Miss, did not integrate their varsity football squads until 1972.”

But my favorite “fact” from the game is:

“With the Vietnam War still raging and Nixon in attendance, protestors came to the game, and one of them got into a tree overlooking the stadium and held up an antiwar sign. An urban legend grew up around this game, claiming that this protestor was Arkansas native and future President Bill Clinton. Clinton, however, was not at the game, as he was then a Rhodes Scholar at the University of Oxford in England, and was listening to the game on a shortwave radio with some American friends.”

It would have been awesome though if he really was at the game with an anti-war sign–my sources say that in fact it was John Kerry that was there protesting, fresh from throwing his medals over the fence at the White House…but I digress.

It is important to note however, that Mack Brown’s success against the Hogs has been, well, limited. 

January 1, 2000:  Cotton Bowl:  14th Ranked Texas vs. 24th Ranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 6, RESULT?  Arkansas 27  Texas 6

September 13, 2003:  UT Stadium:  6th Ranked Texas vs. Unranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 13, RESULT?  Arkansas 38  Texas 28

September 11, 2004:  Razorback Stadium:  7th Ranked Texas vs. Unranked Arkansas:  Texas favored to win by 11, RESULT?  Texas 22 Arkansas 20.

YIKES!

But how can we really be scared?  Arkansas has shown little ability to win this year and after all check out this tradition–quoted directly from their athletic department website:

“The words to the Hog call are simple:

 “Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie!

“Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie!

“Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooie! Razorbacks!”

          But correctly calling the Hogs takes some practice. It starts with both hands raised high into the air, fingers waving as the volume increases during the word Woooooooooo. The arms pump down on the word Pig and then back into the air on the word Sooie. Give it a try.”

“Give it a try???”  I think not.

Here it is in case YOU want to “give it a try:”

HOG CALL

Seriously?

If you go to the game this week, I think you will see a UT victory.  I predict UT 35, Arkansas 17.  Just pray you don’t run in to this guy:

I’m a pretty serious fan, but there is serious, and then there is unstable.

-Murphy

The Romantics and My Favorite Song Ever!

May 28, 2008

As a quick side note to the “normal” format of this blog—3 people asked me today what my favorite song is and of course it is “What I Like About You” by the Romantics.  It is the best song ever.  Don’t come in here with your Led Zepplin or your Beatles or your Carpenters or your Rick Astley–The Romantics are IT!

Enjoy:

Okay, so maybe the hair styles are a little too rad for ya, but the song is tripindicular dude!

-Murphy