Archive for the ‘Christmas’ category

Christmas is Apparently About Obama and Oprah

December 7, 2010

Our President has tried his best to divert our attention away from the one item on the current agenda that all small businesses and 95% of Americans are concerned about–whether their taxes will increase or stay the same come January 1, 2011.  Our President has talked about the war in Afghanistan, the military “don’t ask don’t tell” policy, the fat content of school lunches–but has avoided this subject as much as possible.

He began by telling us that he would not extend the “failed policies of the past which put us in this position in the first place.”  Then he talked (right before the election) about maybe extending some of the tax cuts but certainly not the ones on the “rich.”  Then he began to change his definition of “rich.”  Now that the Senate has blocked the House version of extending some while not others, the Obama administration is saying that they will consider granting the peasants their wish this Christmas and extend all of the tax cuts as long as Congress also agrees to extend unemployment benefits

Well thank you Santa for granting our wish, albeit on YOUR terms.  After all, how silly of us, the stupid public, to forget that no idea is a good idea, unless it is an Obama idea.

But wait, there’s more…

After all, you know from the Democrats that society cannot think on its own–it needs the guidance and the direction of the Federal government in all aspects of its existence.  But the Government cannot do it all–so it has surrogates…Like Oprah Winfrey.

Thank Harpo we have  the annual “Oprah’s Ultimate Favorite Things 2010” so we can get the “RIGHT” Christmas present this year.  As the article says (and no, I’m not making this up) “And if Oprah likes ’em, it’s pretty much a given that those who receive these items will like them, too.” 

Really?  So I suppose Christmas is really about Oprah?  What has she had to say about Christmas?

“Jesus cannot be the only way to heaven.”

“One of the mistakes that human beings make is believing that there is only one way to live, there are many paths to what you call God.”

However, what is clear is that there are not many paths to Christmas joy–there is one, Oprah’s Ultimate Favorite Things list.  Thank Harpo she is here to help us.

-Murphy

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2010 Christmas Ideas From The Left: A Holly Nancy Pelosi Christmas!

November 24, 2010

Well as we arrive at Thanksgiving we stuff ourselves full of Turkey and Dressing and Cranberry Sauce and watch a little football and then wake up early to attack Black Friday.   We here at MKCB don’t want you to be out there looking around from store to store trying to find the perfect gift–we want to give you some fantastic ideas.  As you know, the left in our Country is about Hope and Change and all that is good.  Therefore, we have decided, in the Spirit of the Season, to list for you some wonderful gifts that will bring Hope and only cost a little Change.  Ho Ho Ho!

Top 5 Gift Ideas for 2010 From The Democratic Party of the Combined Union of States of America:

1.  Planned Parenthood Gift Cards

That’s right folks, surely you have that special someone on your list that, well, may need to rethink the next few months and shed that “mistake” that President Obama talked about in 2008.  Well, look no further than Planned Parenthood.

Planned Parenthood says Give the Gift of Abortion for Christmas by Albert Milliron

Yes, its true, you can give the gift of “choice” to someone who is saving up for that special decision to put “self” before others.  And while you are there don’t forget to pick up a stylish “Choice on Earth” T-Shirt.


Planned Parenthood offers ‘Choice on Earth’ T-shirts

Ahhh, tis the season.

2.  Athiest T-Shirts

Obviously it is not fair that all of these leftist atheists are left out of the gift giving and receiving at Christmas time.  But what do you buy that special anti-God someone?  Well, how about a T-Shirt that says it all:

Atheist Christmas cards

Selfishness never goes out of style.  The website this came from makes cards and T-Shirts with this friendly “cute” saying.

3.  Anti-Palin Gear

It wouldn’t be Christmas without bashing a person without reason and by making comments about her personal life that simply aren’t true.  And what better person to continue to focus your character attacks that the person responsible for energizing a large portion of the right–Sarah Palin.

No worries, the Democrats have websites with fun stuff like this:

Offensive anti Palin Christmas T-Shirts

Wouldn’t you feel classy wearing this unique and clever T-Shirt to your next Holiday party?

4.  The Incredible Shrinking Dollar

Now here is a gift that Nancy Pelosi can really be proud of–after all she is in part responsible for manufacturing this wonderful item of joy.  Now you can give your loved ones that same joy with the “Incredible Shrinking Dollar”–and you don’t even have to loan billions of dollars to China to make it work. 

5.  This Day in Revisionist History

Written by top Democratic operatives, er… I mean leaders, you can now give your kids the book they have all been waiting for–a history book that tells history the way it should have occurred, not the silly stupid way it actually happened.  In this book you will find tales of how the Republicans pushed for more slavery and caused the Civil War, you will hear about how the 80’s were a decade of greed and how President Reagan had nothing to do with the fall of Communism.  You will also get a special bonus section that details the hundreds of amazing successes of the Carter administration.  This is a history book your family is sure to treasure for years to come.

Have a great Black Friday (named by the Republicans who are racist by nature) and Merry Chri…um..Xmas!

-Murphy

What Christmas Means to Me–Surrender (and I don’t mean the song by Cheap Trick)

December 21, 2007
 It’s time to shut down the sarcasm, the satire, the political democrat hate speech and reflect on the time of year we find ourselves in.  This post will not be like any other–I hope you will read it anyway.  First I want to thank everyone who has visited this site in the 3 months it has been up.  It has been steadily growing and I am loving it.  First and foremost I want to thank Laurie Kendrick who has been helpful, generous of her ideas and her pictures, supportive and has cheerleaded my efforts.  Laurie-Thank you for being such a friend, having never actually met me–it has meant more than you know.  You know us guys–we need encouragement and support.  Second, thanks to the regular readers who have commented and participated and inspired me to go forward–CrushLiberalism, Kristiane, Nigel and others.  Finally, thanks to PistolPete–whose site inspired the rest of this post.  Pistol–your site has inspired me each time I read it and I’ve loved getting to know you a little this year.  

Now, I’ll put away the forced saracasm and satire and just be me for a few lines while I explain what I believe the real meaning of Christmas is all about.  (if your a hater-stop reading).

 

Clearly Christmas marks the birth of Jesus–simple.  That is the reason the holiday exists–but that is not why I believe it is celebrated.  It is more than simply a birthday for our Saviour–because the question is not “Who is Jesus?” or “When Did He live?”–the question is “What does it have to do with me?”  We spend numerous days throughout the year celebrating birthdays–our own, our family, kids, friends, neighbors, neighborhood kids, cousins, co-workers, etc…  Why do we celebrate those days–for ourself because we need an excuse sometimes to have a get together with friends and family or to chug a really good margarita.  For our family–well, it is our duty.  For our friends–duty and excuse to get together.  Co-workers–because we work with them.  But why celebrate the birthday of a man who lived 2000 years ago that you have never met face to face?  Hmmmmm….starts to make you ask–“What does this have to do with me?” 

 Maybe, like some birthdays, it is simply an excuse to get together with family and friends and have some egg nog, divinity (blech!) and sugar cookies.  Maybe as a child it was one of the only really happy times you remember so you celebrate those moments from your past.  Maybe because Jesus has real significance in your life.  Maybe because it reminds you of the one thing you did or still need to do to really, truly live….Surrender.

Surrender is a word that we hate in our society because it means giving up control, losing your grip on something, not being in charge of your own “destiny.”  Surrender means you lost the war, you waved the white flag, you gave up, you quit, you are a loser.  I’m not talking about that kind of surrender.

Walk with me for a moment–why did Jesus come?  God’s people blew it when there were no laws, no commandments and no rules and so he sent the flood and wiped them out–all except for one family that “walked with God”–Noah.  Then the next generation of Earth-bound humans worshipped idols and lived lives of evil and so God sent his law to Moses.  Time passed and humans took those laws and created a set of rules and regulations around them and used those rules to gain power over the masses.  The political rulers were also the religious rulers and they “used” the Word of God to wield power in an evil way.  Once again the world was headed to ruin–away from the very Being that had created them and everything they knew.  God knew that we were and are all imperfect people and since He is perfect He could not look upon imperfection.  The reality is that no matter how hard any of us try, we can never be perfect, and therefore never be back in union with God.  So–it would appear—that humans were doomed again…

God, however, loved us so much, in spite of the fact that we were completely sinful and selfish and unable see the need for a Creator, that instead of wiping us out again he came down on Earth and dwelt with us (Emmanuel-means “God with us”)–not to enforce the rules but to build a bridge between us and Him.  Jesus is the bridge–but unlike a bridge you can walk on, He grabs us and brings us to the other side–but not without us asking Him too first.  He stands ready to take us across–but first we have to believe He will actually take us.  You see, Jesus came to save us from ourselves and from eternal separation from our Creator.  Since we couldn’t do it ourselves, Jesus came and paid the ultimate penalty in place of all of us so that we could be with God.  But there is one simple step we have to take first….Surrender.

The way to God is not through the 10 commandments.  The way is not memorizing a set of rules and regulations and perfecting your ability to follow them–if you try that—you will fail—every single day–I do.

The way to God is not through some self-imagined mediation technique or psychadelic drug or out of body experience–if you could reach him that easily we would have little need for Him at all.

We have to Surrender.   The moment Jesus died the Bible says that the veil was torn–that veil was the covering that separated man from God–it was the set of rules and regulations that kept man from God because now the way to God is simply through surrendering.

Jesus came on Christmas so that we could turn from our lives of selfishness and self-interest and evil doing and simply surrender our lives to Him.  Jesus said that for a man to gain life he must lose it–wha???  Simply put–if you want to experience true Joy this Christmas and every one following–the kind of Joy that allows you to smile when your extended family is driving you to the point of creating your own special family jihad and blowing eveyone away; the kind of Joy that lets you smile when your gifts stink but your siblings get IPods and cars; the kind of Joy that lets you not get mad that your parents have guilt-tripped you into having Christmas at their house—again.  If you want that kind of Joy–simply surrender to Him because here is the bonus–He wants to give you the best possible life He can.  It doesn’t mean you will always be happy, it doesn’t mean you will always have money and stuff and be healthy–but through all the World throws at you–you can experience Joy simply in knowing Him. 

Surrender,” therefore, is a gift.  Why wouldn’t we want the Creator to run our lives instead of us?  What works better–for the potter to control the shape and form of the clay or for the clay to spin by itself and attempt to shape its own form?  We all know that when the potter’s hands come off the clay the clay spins apart and flings against the wall–ever feel like that?  The reason surrender is a gift is because God loves us so much that his desire for us is to experience Joy–so He, in His perfect plan for our lives will guide us through this broken world if we will just simply surrender the plan to Him. 

The real gift at Christmas is that God made a way for us to take the burden of living with ourselves and our horrible inadequacies off our own back and place that burden in the manager instead.  That little baby gladly takes that burden from you and replaces it with Joy, Contentment, Love and Peace.  In exchange for those gifts He only asks that you Love Him and desire to know Him.  All the yuck in your life will take care of itself once you surrender yourself to Him.  We didn’t earn His Love nor do we deserve it–yet He gives it to us anyway.  It isn’t easy–you have to surrender daily because you are after all human–and your real desire is to take back the reins and control your own path.  Believe me–sometimes you have to surrender many times a day.

This Christmas let me make one suggestion—surrender all of your plans, hopes, and especially your expectations for this Holiday Season to the One that we are celebrating.  Let Him give you peace and rest and relaxation this year–things with your family and friends may not go as you hope or expect so surrender those things to Him and experience the joy of a God who loves us so much He would rather die on a cross than see us perish.

At Christmas in particular, we could all use some Love and Peace and sometimes to get Peace-you have to Surrender.  If you never have–read the book of John–read it like you would read any other book and see the life that our God lived on Earth–it is truly amazing, then ask yourself–“Why am I trying to live in this broken world all by myself?”  The answer is–because you haven’t seen the Joy that truly exists in surrendering.  This Christmas–seek out that Joy–I promise it is there.

God Bless you all-Have a Wonderful Merry Christmas!

-Murphy

The True Meaning of Christmas Part II-More Gifts

December 14, 2007

As stated in part I, below are more gift ideas for the holidays but beware–we have determined the actual thoughts behind the giver of these gifts and the receiver as well.  We try so hard to find the perfect gift–or do we?  These secret thoughts, now revealed for the first time, let us know whether these gifts are such a good idea or not.

1.  THE HARRY POTTER WAND

Giver:  “I just know that my best friend’s son Billy will love this–he is such a Harry Potter fan.  He and his buddies can play zap ’em and stuff”

Receiver:  “I suppose that mom’s friend thinks I’m a super-sonic, atomic, mega-dork…I wonder if it really works?”

2.  A DICTIONARY

Giver:  “I simply hate buying stuff for my neighbor’s kid.”

Receiver:  “This Christmas sucks so bad, like I need a flipping Dicshunairy”

3.  A PUZZLE

Giver:  “Oh, when I was in high school, I loved coming home and putting together a good puzzle.  I’m sure Darrel will love it.”

Receiver:  “Awesome, last time I did a puzzle I had to be rushed to the hospital because I lapsed into a coma brought on by BOREDOM!”

4.  EXERCISE VIDEOS

Giver:  “My sister is always saying how she wants to get in shape–I love this series myself.”

Receiver:  “Well I see my easy size 2 sister is once again giving me a gift in front of everyone to point out the fact that she is better, slimmer and smarter than I am–Merry #(*$(#$& Christmas!”

5.  PERSONAL CLEANSING ITEMS

Handi-Cleanse Personal Bidet

“The Handi-Cleanse Personal Hygiene System is a hand held bidet sprayer. This product attaches to any standard tank toilet and no plumber is required to set it up.”

If you give this gift to someone–you are obviously begging to be hated for all eternity.  I think the product says it all.

More to come….

-Murphy

The True Meaning of Christmas—Gifts.

December 12, 2007

I have decided to take a break from my ongoing series on why the Government should Control our Lives (Chapter 8 after the Holidays) and instead bring you the true meaning of Christmas gifts.  These are the thoughts that form the basis of the gifts we buy.  Much goes into holiday shopping–who to buy for, what to buy, how much to spend and ultimately we find the gift, we wrap it, and present it.  Then when it is opened the person receiving it usually has a reaction internally.  The brain sends a chemical response to the nerve center and you immediately have a thought–that thought is the truth behind your reaction to the gift.  Below are some holiday gift ideas and the thoughts of both the one buying the gift and the one opening it.  Enjoy:

1. THE CANDY CANE

Giver:  “Dangit Grandma–I have no idea what to freaking get you–so here is some Christmas candy.”

Receiver: “Great, my 8th box of candy canes, maybe in the retirement home I can glue them all along my living room wall as wallpaper.  You’d think my daughter would’ve taught her son better about buying gifts.”

2.  THE RUBBER BAND BALL

Giver:  “I failed out of college and can barely hold down a job, like I really have money to buy gifts for my overachieving kid brother.”

Receiver:  “My brother is a loser.”

3. GIFTS YOU KNITTED

Giver:  “I hate shopping, the malls, the crowds, the people, in fact, I haven’t left my home since 1982 and my nephew could always use a good hat.”

Receiver:  “Why won’t Aunt Loretta take 5 minutes and look at a current fashion catalogue?  I look like I’m about to pull a turkey out of the oven with my head.”

4. SPAM

Giver:  “Won’t mom think this is a hoot?”

Receiver:  “Well that confirms it, my son hates me.”

5. ROADSIDE JAMS AND JELLIES

Giver:  “Crap, I forgot to buy something for my kids teachers–stop here at this roadside fruit stand and I’ll see if they have some ‘homemade’ jelly.”

Receiver:  “I wish my students would just gather together their money and buy me one gift card to Macy’s.  This is the 50th jar of Jelly in 3 years.”

I’ll have more shopping ideas for you later–only 13 days left and only 12 shopping days left so you better get busy.

-Murphy