“Democrats Gaining Ground” and Other Ridiculous Notions

Despite a report today on Gallup that Republicans will likely win big next month, despite weeks of poll numbers showing Democrats losing in numerous races across the Country in National, State and Local elections, despite all of that data and the common sense of every living person in the Nation, I was stunned to open my home page at msn.com this morning to find an article making the claim that Democrats are gaining ground in various polls.

Let’s review the tactics to win this election by the Democrats since March:

1.  Republican’s ideas are the same as Bush’s ideas and those are the “failed policies of the past.”

2.  Republicans are desperately trying to demonize the President because he is decisive and is bringing about change that is good for our Nation.

3.  Republicans are racists.

4. Republicans have given in to the fringe right of the Tea Party and want to take us back to the age of slavery, put women back in the home, outlaw abortion and feed their rich friends while stomping on the poor.

5.  Republicans are racists.

6.  The economy is Bush’s fault, who was a Republican, and but for Obama, we would be way worse off–like way, way.

7.  Republicans are elitists, bigots, homophobes and oh yeah, racists.

and now….

8.  Democrats are gaining ground and Fox News has been falsely hyping Republican victories, which are way over-exaggerated–like way, way.

This is the most amusing tactic yet.  Instead of telling America why Democrat philosophy is better for us than Republican philosophy, or telling us what their plan is for actually fixing the economy–they are simply trying to smoke screen the truth–yet again.  Unfortunately for Democrats, the truth is all to evident in this new information age with easy access to Rasmussen polls and Gallup polls online.  Sorry, Democrats, but you are still losing.

The idea that Democrats might actually not lose a tremendous number of incumbents in November is about as true as the following metaphorically similar statements (you may notice each of these came from the same person–can you guess who?):

1.  The Health Care Bill Will Not Increase The Deficit By One Dime. (thank goodness)

2.  The Healthcare Package Will Pay For Itself. (that’s cool–so it’s like installing better windows for your house–so that in say 500 years, you will have made up the cost in the tiny savings each month in your electric bill–okay, great)

3.  We Have Run Out of Places in The US to Drill For Oil.  (I figured all of those oil rigs in West Texas were just landscape art–I knew it)

4.  I Will Not Rest Until The BP Oil Spill Stops.  (I thought he looked really tired when he played golf those um, 7 times).

5. I Have Visited All 57 States.  (So, I called Continental Airlines and asked for their flight routes to the other 7 States and they said I was crazy–Thank Goodness they are merging with United–hopefully they have routes to those places.)

6. My Church Is Like Any Other Christian Church. (I guess my church isn’t a Christian church after all–my heavens, what have I been worshiping!!!!????!!!)

Seriously!

-Murphy

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Explore posts in the same categories: Congress, Current Events, Democrats, election, Fascism, Government, Health Care, Humor, News, Obama, Politics, Socialism, Tea Party

One Comment on ““Democrats Gaining Ground” and Other Ridiculous Notions”

  1. Sean Quinn Says:

    Mr. Murphy,
    I asked one of our contributors to look over your article. I have to say his points are a solid rebuttal of the fact that the Republicans will run away with anything. I would really apprecaite your thoughts on the article on http://www.notthatitmatters.org


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