James Cameron-Latest Helper Turned Away By BP

Well it seems that BP just won’t allow anyone to help them with this oil spill.  Today, James Cameron’s offer to assist with the problem was turned down by BP.  “Those morons don’t know what they are doing,” says Cameron in response to BP’s reluctance to allow him to “dive into” the problem. 

BP must really be short-sighted here.  After all, Mr. Cameron directed Titanic and…he went down in a submarine and actually saw the Titanic.  He actually worked with robot submarines in filming sequences of Titanic and Avatar.  So what is BP’s problem?  Obviously he is qualified to help.

Our newly re-employed sources here at MKCB have uncovered a host of other offers of assistance that have been turned down and we intend to expose them.  It is about time the world knew what other equally helpful offers have been recklessly turned down.

1. KRAMERICA Industries Oil Bladder Idea

Kramer had this great idea for an oil bladder that would hold oil.  He tested it out at a rubber ball company.  BP again took a pass.

2.  Rosie’s Quicker Picker Upper

Rosie has been looking for the ultimate spill to retire on and she has just the answer.  Again, however, the morons at BP “graciously said ‘no.'”

3.  Surf It Up…Dude.

The writers of “surfer” magazine offered to come out and see if they could “surf it” into a big pile for Rosie.  They explained that the ocean is “rad” and they “totally get it.”  Again, BP simply smiled and went about their own hapless efforts.

4.  “I’ll Fix It!”

Finally, our own President Obama has stated that it is his job to fix the oil spill.  He repeatedly states that it is his responsibility, assuring all of us that BP is not doing anything unless it is at HIS direction.  No word from BP yet on allowing BO to step in and cap that thing…

In light of him “fixing” GM, the economy, health care and soon Wall Street, let’s all hope they graciously tell him “no” as well.

-Murphy

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2 Comments on “James Cameron-Latest Helper Turned Away By BP”

  1. pistolpete Says:

    Classic stuff. Glad to see (after an extended lay-over for me off the blogosphere) that you haven’t lost your humor.


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