Ford to Abandon the Mercury Line: Other Products That Must Go!

 

It was announced today that Ford will discontinue the Mercury line of cars.  This is extremely sad news for me personally as many of my childhood memories center around Mercury vehicles.  No…”childhood memories” not “teenage memories.”  Jeez get your minds out of the gutter.Anyway–growing up in the thriving metropolis of El Campo, Texas, my parents owned Mercury vehicles until I was in the 6th or 7th grade.  Remember this beauty?

Love those flip up lights!  Sadly though, this product-an icon of our existence will soon be a memory.  And why?  Of course it has something to do with Bush, but that was today’s earlier post.  I think product manufacturers across the Country should take a good look at products out today and consider eliminating a few more.  Here is my list of products that probably need to go in no particular order…

1. Anatomically Correct Baby Dolls

“Realistic Folds and creases???”  And…it’s a boy!  This is simply creepy.  Is it imporant that a 5 year old play with a baby doll that is anatomically correct?  I don’t even want to meet the person that is purchasing this thing.

2.  Peek A Boo Dress and Harness in One

 

I am terrified of this product.  If I saw this walking towards me I am certain I would turn, run and scream like a girl.  If you have bought one of these, please unfriend me from Facebook right now.

3. President Obama Chia Pet

 Chia Obama

um…no.

4.  The Underwear Repair Kit

Okay, I know we are in a recession but a pack of 6 Hanes at Target is like $6.99.  If you are a man and you are buying this and using it–then really are you a man?

5.  The Duo Toilet

Okay, I’m sorry, I’ve been married 17 years and I still lock the door when I’m in the restroom.  The last thing I’d want to do is face someone else and have a conversation.  What kind of sickness must overtake an inventor to come up with an idea like this?

There are so many more that should go before the beloved Mercury, but alas, Ford is the one American car company that isn’t run by the Government so my guess is that they know what is best.  Now if we could just get Pepsi to cancel all of its soft drink products and eliminate Beets from the face of the Earth–then we would have it made.

-Murphy

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