The Gore’s Breakup: It’s Bush’s Fault!
After a 6 month leave of absence from blogging, it is time to jump back in. After some involvement in the Tea Party movement and a few speaking engagments I felt it was time to get back political swing of things. Work and life are hectic, but I cannot stay silent any longer. So like it or not, I’m baaaaaaack! 🙂
It was the kiss that grossed out a Nation! And yet, 40 years after saying “I do” the global warming couple is calling it quits–with little explanation. They said it is mutual–which means they both agree on it–which doesn’t tell us anything. What could be the explanation for a split of this magnitude.
Could it be that Tipper can no longer live with a man who has made millions of dollars on a lie? No, she has been doing that ever since then Senator AL Gore said he was “pro-life.”
Could it be that Tipper is jealous of Al’s unnatural attraction to Leo?
Maybe she is mad that Al’s proposed Four Dollar bill never took off.
No, I think if you look deep enough, deeper that TMZ would look you’ll find the real root of this marriage break-up.
Of course, I’m talking about George W. Bush.
After all, we have come to learn in the last 2 years that George W. Bush is the center of most of our trouble here in America. Remember, he stole the election from Al Gore and robbed Tipper of her chance to pick out the 44th china pattern at the White House. That probably made her pretty mad. In all seriousness, the evidence is unmistakable.
Here are the other things that have happened already this year that are easily attributable to George W. Bush:
–BP Oil Spill-after Bush left office he had to do something with the giant Halliburton Hurricane machine that caused Hurricanes to hit poor black neighborhoods in New Orleans. So he moved it to a hidden location on a BP platform in the Gulf. Then, you guessed it, some idiot accidentally turned it on and it set the whole thing on fire.
–Health Care Reform-only to the extent it is a bad thing is it really his fault–so yeah, the whole thing is his fault. See, if he hadn’t been spending so much time at the Crawford Ranch cutting down helpless trees, he would have realized that our health care system is the envy of the world–which makes the world hate us–which is why we were attacked on 9/11 in the first place—while he was in office.
–Gold Prices-Again, they are so high right now that no one in the poorer communities in our Nation can afford to buy any–which is patently unfair. The prices are so high because while he was in office he obviously gathered most of it up and took it because he is a rich Republican.
These are clearly his fault. This cheap toy craze has kids not paying attention in school and fighting each other over “rare” shapes and colors. None of this would be happening if George W. Bush hadn’t let the economy fall apart leaving children little choice but to entertain themselves with rubber bands shapped liked animals and musical instruments.
-It just goes on and on. So consider this post a public service annoucement–quit wasting your time at work searching the Internet to find scoop on the Gore split. First of all, since Al invented the Internet–he is good at hiding stuff in it. Second–we all know it is GW’s fault so get back to work.
***UPDATE: Shortly after posting this, it was brought to my attention that the CBS Evening News made a similar accusation (although without any attempt to be humorous) last night. I could not believe it so I watched the video online–sure enough the report states that losing the election “despite winning the popular vote” did irreparable damage to their marriage. I would post the link but I dont’ want to give that joke of a news site any traffic. I guess my prediction was right. 🙂 ***Al Gore, Current Events, Democrats, funny, Humor, Life, News, Politics, Satire