Archive for October 2009

“Consumer Option” vs. “Public Option” Redefines English Language

October 30, 2009

Our fearless leader of the House of Representatives has really outdone herself this time.  Today she produced a 1,900 page health care reform bill with no “public option.”  Errr…well…um I mean there is one it now called the “consumer option.”  Many of you know that she redefined the terms of this government takeover of our health care system a few days ago by simply “rebranding” the public option.  Now it doesn’t sound so darn socialismy (new word–just go with it).

But little did she know that she would start a revolution of the English Language.  Webster turned over in his grave this week as tens of tens of people rallied behind Madam Pelosi and took the lead to redefine many other areas of our language that just seemed a little well…negative.  So thank you Madam Speaker for your ingenuity, brilliance and trend-making abilities.  In conformity with rebranding the socialistic takeover of 1/6 of our economy from “Public” to “Consumer” here are a few more “rebranding” techniques currently in circulation:

1.  New Brand:  CHOCOLATE CAKE

CowPie.jpg image by triple789

Old Brand:  Cow Pie

2.  New Brand:  ART DECO

  Old Brand:  Toxic Mold

3.  New Brand:  STREET AFICIONADO

  Old Brand:  Homeless Person

4.  New Brand:  RELIGIOUS EXTROVERT

  Old Brand:  Terrorist

5.  New Brand:  MR. HOTTIE

  Old Brand:  Satan, Prince of Darkness, The Evil One, etc…

and finally…

6.  New Brand:  CONSUMERISTS

   Old Name:  Democrats, Socialists, Liberals, Jack…
 
 
“when I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.”
 
                                                 -James Whitcomb Riley
 
Murphy

Poor Aggies–A Preview of What’s To Come

October 20, 2009

 

aggie1.jpg image by BearMeat1845

I’m sorry Aggie-fan, truly I am.  I normally do not post anything degrading about A&M until we are closer to the “big” game, but this is too rich. 

After a humiliating loss to Kansas State this weekend, many Aggie-fans are asking, “How did this happen?” “How could we have not been more prepared.”

Then this video was located that gives us a little insight into how Aggies prepare for games–watch and either laugh or weep depending on your point of view:

Hook’em!

-Murphy

University of Texas vs. University of Oklahoma: 2009

October 16, 2009

It’s time once again for the BIG game.  Usually I spend a blog post before this and the A&M game talking some trash about the other team.  Maybe pointing out their silly traditions or the “real” definition of a “Sooner” but after watching a moving video of Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford, I couldn’t bring myself to trash them this year.  Instead, I thought the best use of this space would be to show you this video. 

Hook ’em–and…

Boomer Sooner!

-Murphy

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize–But Wait There’s More…

October 9, 2009

As you all undoubtedly know by now, our esteemed President is this year’s winner of the Nobel Peace Prize

Let’s review the purpose of the Nobel Peace Prize–taken from our friends at Wikipedia:

The Nobel Peace Prize (Swedish and Norwegian: Nobels fredspris) is the name of one of five Nobel Prizes bequeathed by the Swedish industrialist and inventor Alfred Nobel. According to Nobel’s will, the Peace Prize should be awarded “to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses”.

Well, in light of that definition it is easy to see why President Obama, Vice-President Al Gore and President Carter have all been recipients of this award.  And let us not forget the most deserving recipient, Yasser Arafat. (he won in 1994).

So, I could go on and on about this but the talk show hosts and media have beat it to death today.  What hasn’t been discussed are the other lesser known awards that were given today along the same line of thinking.  You didn’t hear about them?  Well, here is a review of other awards with, let’s say, similar results.

1. The Mother Theresa Award -this award goes to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for children of all races throughout the world by making them happy instead of sad.  This year’s winner:

Michael Jackson

2.  The Joe Namath Award-this award goes to the person who shall have done the most to promote great hair products.  This year’s winner is:

Jason Statham

3.  The Abraham Lincoln Civility Award-this award goes to the person who shall have done the most to promote civility among the various and diverse members of our great society.  This year’s winner is:

Kanye West

4.  The Mr. Monopoly Economic Award-this award goes to the person who shall have done the most to promote sound economics, savings and investments in the lives of others.  This year’s winner is:

Bernard Madoff

5.  The George Washington Cherry Tree Media Award-this award goes to the media outlet that shall have done the most to promote honesty and integrity in the publication of unbiased news.  This year’s winner is:

A TIE!

The New York Times

and

MSNBC

and finally, I want to thank the State Bar of Texas for honoring me with The Best Family Law Attorney Award.  Here is a short piece of the interview I gave shortly after receiving my award.

Presenter:  How does it feel Mr. Klasing to have won such an esteemed award?

Murphy:  I am surprised and humbled, but mostly surprised.

Presenter:  But why are you so surprised?

Murphy:  Well frankly, I don’t practice Family Law–I mean yeah, I’ve been in Family Court, um… I think once, but I am not a Family Attorney.

Presenter:  Well, the award is given to you this year because you have said the most about bringing about real change in the Family law system and you have inspired much hope among that section of the bar.

Murphy:  Really?  Odd.  I mean, sure I’m flattered, but I can’t think of what it is I have really actually done.  Sure I have said that the divorce rate is too high in America and that we need to do something to bring the family back together, but I mean…

Presenter:  See–there you go.

Murphy:  See what?  I mean, of course I will accept this award as a call to action to stop divorce and child custody battles and to do what I can to bring the family back together–but you have to understand, I’m a trial lawyer whose practice primarily centers around defending corporations and small companies, not dividing silver ware—not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Presenter:  Well I think you now know why you received this esteemed award and I want to thank you for your time today.  This is Randy Meier for MSNBC News Headlines.

Murphy:  Okay…whatever.

-Murphy