Drugs And Alcohol to An Addict, Bailout Money to AIG-Same Diff.

Last year, CNN reported on a Vancouver clinic that allows people to bring illegal drugs to their facility and shoot up in a supervised setting.  I’m NOT Kidding!  Which proves my long-held idea that if you simply provide the means for users to access drugs safely, they will quit using them. (what?)  So here are some more ideas I have that may assist people that are dealing with problems.

1.  Safe Driving Bars

Let’s have bars where people that are admitted alcoholics can come in and drop their keys off at the bar.  Then they can drink and drink and the bar will call a cab so they can go home.  That way, they won’t kill anyone on the way.  Then the manner and means in which they receive the alcohol will be safer.  Then, under the theory of the Vancouver Clinic, maybe more of them will join AA.

2.  Candy For Obese People


In its attempt to cure obesity in this Country, the Government ought to consider providing tons and tons of candy, donuts, soft drinks and fatty foods to obese people.   But this must be in a safe and controlled environment.  So we should set up clinics where instead of exercise and swimming….

…we could have a controlled eating environment where large people can come eat until their heart’s content all the while a trained doctor with the necessary equipment to revive a person’s heart will be sitting in the next room and be ready in a moment’s notice. 

Then hopefully, people will realize that this is bad and want to join real diet programs.

3.  Bailout Money to Inept and Financially Irresponsible Companies

Finally, the Government ought to give tons an tons of money to companies that are having financial difficulty.  That way they can learn how to become fiscally responsible without all the pressure of earning the money in the first place.  Kind of like playing Monopoly, only with real money.

In this manner, companies like AIG can learn to be fiscally responsible in a “safe” environment.  Surely then they won’t do anything stupid with the money the Government simply gives them.  After all, if you simply feed a problem with the more of the same food it has been eating, it will eventually grow into a solution.

If you don’t believe me, just ask GM.


Explore posts in the same categories: Congress, Current Events, Democrats, drugs, Economy, funny, Government, Humor, News, Obama, Politics, recession, Satire, Socialism

4 Comments on “Drugs And Alcohol to An Addict, Bailout Money to AIG-Same Diff.”

  1. watcat Says:

    Hi this blog is great I will be recommending it to friends.

  2. Amy Says:

    This has been another episode of Extremely Bad Analogies…

    The clinic in Vancouver is meant to stop the spread of disease caused by sharing dirty needles. It is simply a safe injection site.

    • mklasing Says:

      Okay–um I think you missed the point of the article. And for the record–a “safe injection site” is a contradiction in terms.

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