Texas vs. Texas A&M-POOR AGGIES!

I know, I shouldn’t beat up on a team that is 4-7 and just lost by 20 to BAYLOR.  Yes, Baylor!  But it is now an annual tradition.  Here at MK’s Conservative Blog, we like to take a moment out each year to discuss our rivals, the Aggies.  After all, there is so much material to work with.  Last year I made a valiant effort to disclose the outright craziness of the Aggie Traditions, from grabbing your crotch during a yell to burying the mascot so he can see the scoreboard–from underground.  (See Previous Post)

So this year we need a new angle.  Instead of making some boring list about why the Aggies need to be made fun of and why they are so deserving.  Here are some pictures, jokes and a short interview that tells the story all by themselves:

Yell Leaders by sarowen (camera is being repaired...).

“Now Bubba and Cletus, when the two bulls come out we will hold down your back while you try and kick ’em.”

(whispering)-{sorry I can’t caption this one–you do it and keep it PG}

“Um…Hey Buford, do you hear a kind of ‘clank, bbbrpppbbb, clank’ sound?”

{an oldie but goodie}:

All boarded up and ready for the hurricane–that is, if it actually comes from inside the store.

“Go ahead, make one more joke about the Christmas lights”

(fast forward to 2012)-“And annoucing the Democratic candidate for the Texas Senate Seat…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Darth Aggie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And the winner of this year’s academic scholarship to Texas A&M is…”

“You know Roscoe, you were right, the truck won’t float even though it is still hitched to the boat.”

And a few jokes–just for fun:

How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
            Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
            On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
            It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!

Finally, a short interview with an A&M student:

Our team of investigators met up with this Aggie fan named Mike:

Q:  So how do you feel about having a losing season right now?

A:  We ain’t losing, we still haven’t played TU.

Q:  Yes, but your record is 4-7–how does that make you feel as a devoted fan?

A:  Our record is nuthin’ until we play TU, understand?

Q:  No, but I’ll transition into something else?

A:  You can turn into another being?

Q:  NO!, I mean I’ll move on…so, speaking of the rivalry, what are you doing to prepare for the Texas game?

A:  There is no “Texas game” there is an A&M game where we open up a 6 pack of whoop-a** on TU.

Q:  Semantics aside…

A:  I did not do well in Geometry so let’s talk about something else.

Q: Um…okay  what do you do on game day to prepare?

A:  Well, this year it is back on Turkey Day as you know, and I’ll be eating a couple of Turkeys and then proabably get a big bowl of stuffin’ and maybe some candied yams and some green bean casserole and then I’ll have some lunch  and make the drive to A-town and watch TU get their butts turned inside out.

Q:  Okay, I’m not sure what that means exactly but I think I get the point.  So  if A&M goes 1-11 that is okay with you so long as they beat Tex..er.. I mean TU?

A:  Maybe you don’t understand what I’m saying.  There is no record until after we beat TU-which in the last 3 years we have done 2 times so get ready for some whoopin’

Q:  Great, well have a great time at the game.

A:  You too, hey, you gonna eat those fries…

-Murphy

PS:  Eric Chamble calls in to the unofficial MKCB show and asks the fans of the site:  “How does A&M feel knowing that their rival was once Texas, then Texas Tech and now they have to say that their real rival is Baylor?”

As always MKCB thanks Eric for his insightful and obviously cynical and sarcastic question–We love that stuff here. 🙂

Explore posts in the same categories: Aggies, College, Current Events, Football, Humor, Life, NCAA, Satire, Sports, University of Texas

7 Comments on “Texas vs. Texas A&M-POOR AGGIES!”

  1. David Wilson Says:

    Scoreboard, Murphy.

    Colt McCoy has never taken a snap in a victory against the Ags. Plus, Fran’s departure on the heels of a two game winning streak in the rivalry put to bed the myth that our fan base views the year as a one game season.

    BTW: How exactly did Mack III get beat by Fran two years in a row?

  2. mklasing Says:

    David: You are correct, recent history does not bode well for the longhorns in this game. However, in light of last week’s game, and their overall record, I’m feeling better about this home game that I might usually. As for the one game season myth–my “fair and balanced” reporting of that subject might have been slightly skewed in my favor. 😉

  3. kristiane Says:

    I went through a period in HS where I wanted to move to Texas and go to A & M so badly. Never happened, but I bought some terrific shirts from the school!

  4. Rodney Says:

    Hey Wilson? What’s the scoreboard say now? Wow – a&m is really, really bad!

  5. lamarcus Says:

    Aggies got their butt wiped lol lol lets go texas all the way to the rose bowl… GO TEXAS PAT PAT HEARNE TEXAS PATRICK EDWARDS

  6. Aggie2000 Says:

    Don’t forget that in the 90’s ATM was a Dominate team…….Maybe one day we will again recruit and coach talented players……..P.S ATM won the last 2 of 3…..Colt got screwed


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