VP Debate Moderator, Gwen Ifill, Sets New Trend in Fairness

HEY WORLD!  In case you haven’t figured it out yet, fairness is being redefined in our society.  It’s part of that “hope and change” we are all so desperate to achieve.

Tomorrow, Gwen Ifill will be moderating the VP debate.

According to Fox news, Ms. Ifill has a new book coming out in January entitled, “The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama.”  As Fox points out–it would seem that such a book might do better if Obama is elected than if he is not.  So Bravo to PBS for having her moderate a debate between Obama’s VP pick and McCain’s.  Fairness used to be defined in our world as something that is “free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice.” (Source:  Dictionary.com)

Well I for one am sick of that definition.  After all-it is so played….soooooo played.

Thanks to the media and PBS (which I thought was only useful for Sesame Street, The Electric Company and Masterpiece Theater) for chunking that tired old definition in the trash and redefining the word entirely.  I mean seriously–look at this sick portrayal of “fairness.”

That kind of fairness is for babies.  We need new 21st century fairness.

First, was it fair that low income families could not afford to buy a home?  Of course not, after all, even OJ Simpson has a home.  So fairness became redefined and we got in 1977 the Community Reinvestment Act.  It was passed by Jimmy Carter and the Democrats to assist low-income families in getting a home they deserve under our new-forming definition of fairness. 

But then that evil President Regan and Bush took over and it only helped a little.  Until 1995…Bill Clinton and the Democrat administration began putting severe pressure on banks and forced them to lend $1 trillion in subprime loans or face penalties for not doing so.  After all–we need to get poor people out of apartments–which are clearly unfair.

Fannie Mae guaranteed the mortgages and then sold them.  This caused a HUGE increase in the number of purchased homes in our Country which led to a huge increase in the price of homes and property taxes and eventually the bubble broke.  But it was a good start at fairness–and now Pelosi, and Obama can finish the job.

They can spend $700 billion dollars to bail out these institutions and individuals and reinvent fairness.

They even got to jab a little more at the new definition of fairness.  When the first attempt failed in Congress, the democrats–who are in charge—blamed the republicans for its failure to pass.  This has allowed the poster above to be redrawn as follows:

Isn’t it great?

The choice for a debate moderator is simply icing on the cake.

I have some suggestions for expanding this new definition of fairness.

1.  Let’s Allow Coaches of Underdog Teams to Be The Referees

So Texas A&M’s coach, for example, could wear a black and white shirt every game this year insead of that sick maroon.  Then he could call all the penalties and give his team a “fair” chance of winning.

2.  Turn “F’s” into “A’s” and vice versa


Don’t we all hate these guys?  The guys that get perfect “A’s” on their report card year in and year out.  And is that fair?  I mean look at this guy–is it fair that he gets “A’s” and this guy…

Makes “F’s”?  Of course not–they should have a system where some of their grades get switched around.  The cool jock kids should get a “fair” break once in a while too.  And let the geeks get an “F” every once in a while.

3.  The More You Make, The Greater Percentage of Taxes You Pay

Oh yeah, we already have that one–well make it worse just to be fair.

4.  Let Obese People Win Beauty Pageants

This really needs to happen.  I mean look at Miss America.

She is so gorgeous and tiny–no wonder she won–how fair is that?  Not at all I’d say.  We need to have pageants where people like this can win:

See how said she is sitting at home watching the Miss USA competition on TV–tragic.  And of course—unfair.

There are more–but alas, unfairly I have to get back to work and earn money to eat and live.  Again–unfair.  I think we can all get together and come up with our new and very polished “Fairness” definition so that finally things in this Country will be fair for all.

Competition, corporate ladders, loyalty, hard work–those concepts are for idiots–we simply need a new way to look at what is actually fair.  Thank Allah, Sen. Obama is just the man to bring about such a change in our society.  Glad to see that PBS is doing their part.

As for the bailout–well, I’ve sent the following gift to our Congressman so that they can get that package all nice and polished–and of course—more fair.









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5 Comments on “VP Debate Moderator, Gwen Ifill, Sets New Trend in Fairness”

  1. […] It’s part of that “hope and change” we are all so desperate to achieve. Tomorrow, Gwen Ifill will be moderating the VP debate. According to Fox news, Ms. Ifill has a new book coming out in January entitled, “The Breakthrough: […][Continue Reading] […]

  2. kristiane Says:

    I don’t really believe there is fairness in politics. Though I am with the majority in this. I am actually going to watch the debates tomorrow, and hope I do not regret time wasted later.

  3. I’ve been away for a while, Murph. Involved in the writing game and it’s making me crazy. but I’ve taken advantage of a brief reprieve and here I am, visiting you and all is right with the world.

    I’ve missed your inspired brand of insanity.

    The Brit sends his best. He’ll be here next month…we think. Let’s plan on a lunch, if possible.


  4. mklasing Says:

    No prob LK, I always appreciate it when you can stop by. I know your life is full–which is great.

    ALSO–Definitely want to grab lunch–love to meet the Brit–can even get the firm to spring for it all.

    Let me know.


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