Nancy Pelosi Is A Great Leader–Kind of Like Um…General Custer
The United States, allegedly, stands on the brink of an economic meltdown. Our Government, including our President, has told us that the only ones who can save us are the white bread members of the United States House and Senate. They have worked really hard for like a week or so to save us-and today when the votes were cast–they um…failed.
Imagine if you will the following scenario: Venom is poised to launch and attack that would destroy the entire West Coast of the United States (I know let him do it–kidding left coasters). The only one to save us all is of course, SpiderMan.
Spiderman is just a middle-aged fat guy running around naked covered in Spidey body paint. (ewww) So what happens, Venom destroys California, Oregon and Washington, but not Alaska because some tough broad up there shoots him in the face with a shotgun…but I digress.
The point is–our Government is about as effective at solving private problems as a fat naked middle-aged Spiderman. (is the metaphor stretching a bit?)
Well, never fear–we have General Pelosi at the helm–and just to give you a little comfort, here is a short list of people that secretly inspire her to lead us all to victory:
1. General Custer
2. Wanda Holloway (“The Texas Cheerleader Mom“)
3. President James Buchanan
for you lacking in history–James Buchanan, faced with threats of the South leaving the Union over slavery and thinking war was equally bad–couldn’t make a decision, lost the faith of his own party (the DEMOCRATS) and is largely held responsible for the break-up of the Union and following civil war.
4. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin
5. Andrew Fastow
But have no fear Americans, if Pelosi can’t do it, and naked Spiderman can’t do it, then we dare not lose hope, we dare not begin to believe that we are failures because after all is said and done and the bailout is over and the banks are back up and running–our true savior will rise again to pull us from the jaws of defeat.
You know who it is–it is who has been saving us for years–lending us money and making those cute little everythings that decorate our house…
-MurphyCurrent Events, Democrats, Economy, funny, Government, Humor, Life, Nancy Pelosi, News, Politics, Satire, Socialism, Thoughts on the World
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