Archive for August 2008

The DNC Agenda–Just in Case You Missed It.

August 29, 2008

Well, I watched as much as I could stand of the speechs, the hoopla and the excitement.  In case you just couldn’t stomach it and refused to watch it, I thought I’d share the agenda so that you would at least know what you missed.  Above are our friends at code pink making signs and protesting–aren’t they cute.

Here is the agenda for the Democratic National Convention:

2008 Democrat National Convention Schedule of Events

7:00 pm  OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm  PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N. (in Spanish first, then English)

7:25 pm  NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP – Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm  CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING – Darryl Hanna and Sheryl Crow

7:55 pm TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm  HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET – Al Gore

8:15 pm  GAY WEDDING PLANNING – Rosie O’Donnel and Ellen Degeneres

8:35 pm  TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm  OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS – John Kerry

9:00 pm  MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm  ANSWERING MACHING ETIQUETTE AND FAMILY VALUES – Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm  TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm  COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND – Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm  FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY – Sean Penn

11:30 pm  OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS – William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm  TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm  HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS AND CAUSED HURRICANE KATRINA – Howard Dean

12: 15 am  TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am  TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am  SATELLITE ADDRESS – Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am  NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA – Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am  TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

1:05 am  CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA AND SACRIFICES AT THE ALTAR

1:30 am  TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST

1:35 am  BILL CLINTON ASKS TED KENNEDY TO DRIVE HILLARY HOME.

1:40 am  Bill Clinton gawks at possible McCain VP

 

1:45 am  Bill Clinton switches party affiliations.

-So, in case you missed the festivities, I just wanted you to know exactly what you missed.  Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend and pray that this VP pick is not a mistake.

-Murphy

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Obama: The $4 million dollar Hypocrite.

August 22, 2008

So today the news is all a-buzz with Obama’s latest strategy–attacking McCain because he did not answer a question about how many houses he owned.  (See Obama Count’s McCain’s Houses) So, I suppose challenging McCain on the issues such as the war or the mortgage crisis or the gas prices or the economy or global warming–all seems trite compared to attacking him because he is rich.  Demonizing him because he has a lot of assets. 

That is rich!  (Hey that is kind of a pun–I so amuse myself)

This from a man who just purchased a home for $1.6 million dollars and made over $4 million last year.  This from a man who claims that McCain is out of touch with the “regular American.”  I suppose the regular American makes $4 million per year?  Seriously. 

But wait, what did Obama say about personal attacks in a campaign?  What was that…….?  Oh yeah, just 2 days before the comment about the houses, and fresh off of his week-long vacation in Hawaii, Obama said it was time for McCain to “end personal attacks.”  My what can change in 2 days!

ABC news was all over this–hoping and praying I’m sure that this “gaffe” by McCain will end his chances for the white house. 

Notice the bottom of the screen “McCain’s Housing Crisis”–that was on there the entire broadcast regarding this story.  But, ABC is not biased.  What a silly accusation.

But wait–there are other issues Obama should jump on that would be so much more effective.  Here at MKCB  I’d like to do my part in assisting the Obama campaign with their non-personal attacks–here are my suggestions for some sound-bites to assist in the campaign:

1.  He obviously isn’t much of a fighter since he was in prison so dang long in Vietnam.

2.  He’s not just old, but he’s damn-old.

3.  He is white, ’nuff said.

4.  I know James Garner, and you Sen. McCain are no James Garner.

5.  McCain adopted a daughter from an orphanage in a veiled attempt to cow-tail to Catholics.

I’ll see if I can come up with some more–but Obama–I suggest you use these–because the reality is, if you start trying to debate him about your socialistic view of the world–the rest of your blind followers might discover that you are in fact a socialist–something I’m sure you want to hide until you are actually in the White House.

-Murphy

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The History of “Republicans” Destroying our Social Security!

August 19, 2008

Another election year–another round of candidates talking about how they are going to “fix” social security.  Once again, we hear from Obama and his party that the Republicans are at fault for the various ills plaguing our beloved retirement plan.  (I got my statement recently and it shows that I’ll make just enough to pay my current house note when I’m 70–I can’t wait to roll in that dough)

A friend of mine sent me an email that details the history of social security.  I checked out the facts and decided that it would be beneficial for you to know the truth about what has happened to this system.  Let’s step into our time machine and take a look back at the history of this amazingly inefficient government agency and program:  (imagine dream sequence animation here)

 

1935:  DEMOCRAT President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Social Security Act into law.  President Roosevelt first promised that the system would be voluntary.  Of course, assuming that the American public would not do what HE knew was best for them, it was passed as a payroll tax and later made part of the IRS code.  Originally, participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1400 they made.  The money would be deductible from income taxes.  The money was to be placed into a special trust fund so that it would never become part of the General Budget and the annuity payments to retirees was not supposed to be taxed.  Sounds good–and even sounds like it would not be too onerous of a system to implement and receive.  It is a system of “forced” savings–but small enough not to overburden the government or our society.

THEN things changed.  Long gone are the days where the public championed this sytem.  Like Ida Mae Fuller–the first recipient of a death benefit under the system in 1939.

Ida May Fuller, the first recipient

In 1956, a democratically controlled congress raised the tax rate from 1% to 2% (2 for employer as well) and almost all other trades were included in the range of people that could receive benefits.

Then, in 1965, Lyndon Johnson, a DEMOCRAT President, added Medicare to the the program and moved the funds from the Trust Fund and placed them in the General Budget under the “theory” that Congress would be able to add more money to the fund instead of spend it.  HA HA HA HA HA HA

During the Carter administration (another DEMOCRAT)-we had the worst inflation and unemployment since the Great Depression–the result was a tremendous budget problem in Congress–which continued to pull money from the general fund to pay for social programs–Social Security, for all intensive purposes was raided out of existence and now is simply a line item in the Budget–but there is no “fund.”

Then Al Gore cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate to start taxing Social Security annuities for the first time.  Since that vote-no one has done anything to fix the program or allow workers to chose between the program and private choice investment.

Obama though has an idea for “change”–he proposes removing the cap for social security wages–so that you have to pay on all of your income and increasing taxes on those who make over $250,000.  Wow–what a novel idea–Since the 1930’s the only real “change” to Social Security other than moving it into the General Budget–is numerous tax increases to pay for it.

Does that sound like change to you?

“A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”  Thomas Jefferson–3rd President–and a Democrat

-Murphy

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Who is The Father of Rielle Hunter’s Baby? Next on Maury

August 15, 2008

Maury Povich had a brief period of time when his show began where he attempted to have more of a “Dr. Phil” format.  You know, people being mean to each other and addicted to drugs and having financial crisis and affairs and Maury there to talk them through it.  Then all of a sudden he decided to “specialize.”  Now his shows are all about paternity tests and determining the father of some baby born to a woman who has had 10-20 sexual partners in the previous month.  They talk about how horrible it will be if so and so is the father, but how great if so and so is, etc…  And then the tests are revealed.

Well, Maury, I have the mother of all ideas for your show.  We here at Murphy’s Conservative Blog believe that the world should know if John Edwards is or is not the father of Rielle Hunter’s 5-month old.  Enough speculation, enough innuendo, enough already, let’s invite them on, talk about how wonderful it would be if little baby Hunter could grow up and live in the Edwards’ mansion.

And just look at him holding someone else’s baby 19 months ago:

john_edwards_baby.jpg

He is a natural father.  Why some say he can even act as a medium for children in a court room–but that is another story.

And what about Andrew Young?  I can find no picture of him on the web–so he must not be very famous.  And he is a 41 year old married father–he claims that he is the father–but he also was a poltical operative for John Edwards during his campaign.  (I love the word “operative.”)

And what about this weird photo from the Enquirer?

love.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I mean look at that baby’s hair–no way that is Edwards’ baby–the hair is all gangly and receeding.  (I also love the term “love child”  as if “love” had anything to do with it.)

So there it is Maury–my plea to you to have these individuals on your show.  Maybe put the baby on the floor and have Andrew and John call it and see where it crawls.  Well–whatever, you know better how to run the show than me.  All I ask is a small royalty, say 3-5% of the proceeds from the show for coming up with the idea.

Thanks, Maury, all of America will be watching.

-Murphy

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Obama’s Energy Plan Revealed!

August 14, 2008

Houston, Texas-August 14, 2008:  Whew!  It is good to get back to blogging after a long hiatus.  I have been on vacation or swamped at work.  Interestingly, lawsuits are on the rise.  It is typical of a bad economy–when the economy get rough, lawsuit filing sky rocket–which means I’m busier.  Now if I was a selfish boob, I would say–ya-hoo!  But I would rather have less work, on actually legitimate lawsuits, and have my dollar go further, than to have the rest of the world suffer while I work my butt off to make more money that is actually worth less.

But enough of that–I’m done with that hiatus and back to reveal to the world the satirical truth about the left-wing faction of our Country.  So much has happened since we last spoke–but I must say that Energy is the topic of the day.  It may be Energy that wins this election in the fall.  Obama’s energy policy-or whatever he is calling it-needs to be examined.  He has said everything from no drilling, to drilling to airing up our tires to forcing oil companies to pay a tax on their “windfall” profits to creating a government agency to develop “green” ways to live.

So I think it is time we examine some other ideas.  I would like to put on my Obama hat er halo for a second and suggest the following ideas to assist Obama in developing a comprehensive energy policy.

1.  Outlaw the Farming, Packaging and Sale of All Flatulent Producing Foods

 

Good-bye beans, broccli, cabbage, and any other toot-producing product.  Think of all the gas emissions we could save if we just quit eating these foods.  After all-Ireland has considered taxing cow farmers for the emissions of cows. (not kidding–see HERE).  Plus, I could finally ride a cross-country airplane without the ever so often smell of death that happens to float into my seating area.  This should help build the ozone layer and cut down on ultraviolet emissions which would reduce skin cancer and reduce our Countries medical costs.  Its brilliant!

2.  Make Cars Out Of Paper

It really doesn’t take much gas to move a paper car.  With the lack of weight involved the car will practically move on its own.  And if check the weather patterns in your area before you leave, you might be able to let Mother Nature simply blow your car to your destination.

3.  Outlaw Overweight Drivers

Here is one for you Obama–kind of on the fat tire theme.  You should pass a law disallowing anyone that is overweight to drive a car–at all.  First that would knock out maybe 60% of all drivers and then the use of gas would decrease dramatically.  Plus the only people on the road take less gas to move–because they are thin–like you.

4.  Eliminate Al Gore

 

I know it is a cruel and “inconvenient” suggestion, but really, he is traveling all over the world giving speeches.  The fuel cost, the hot air from his mouth, the cost of all of those power-points and the drain on the electricity to fuel the lights to make his speeches– I mean really–He can never repay his carbon body print.  And look at his house:

It consumes more electricity than an average house does in a year.  It needs to be broken down and used for alternative fuel for heat to those less fortunate.  And after all–will anyone really miss him?

5.  Stop All Drilling For Oil-Forever

Who are we kidding anyway with all of this drill now talk?  I mean the real way to solve the energy crisis is to simply eliminate energy all together.  We have the sun, we have the spotted owl, we have the moose, what else do we need?  Why must we be so greedy?  After all–the only reason we need energy is to go shopping and spend more of our windfall of money.  I say, stop all drilling.  Use up the rest and then let’s just see what happens.  Need convincing–look here, below is a picture of a village in Africa that doesn’t rely on BIG OIL to fund their community.  And they seem to be doing just fine.

Think about how much happier we will all be when our biggest responsibility is finding more thatch for our roof?  Won’t it be great?

-Murphy