Archive for July 2008

A Little Humor For the Weekend.

July 11, 2008

Just to lighten the load for the weekend I submit the following sad tale:

At the gates of Heaven, 3 men approach at nearly the exact same time.  St. Peter, being overloaded that day looks at them and says, “I’m very busy, why don’t you just tell me how you three died as quick as you can?”

The first guy says, “Well, I came home to my apartment and found my wife naked in the bedroom and a man hanging from my 3rd floor balcony.  I grabbed my laptop, ran out to the balcony and smashed his fingers to make him fall.  But he fell into a tree and survived.  So I ran into the kitchen, unplugged the refrigerator and began to push it out the door onto the balcony.  Even though it was very heavy, I managed to push it out and over the balcony.  In the process, I overexerted myself and had a heart attack.”

St. Peter looked at the second man and said, “what about you?”

The second man said, “Well, I was sunbathing on my balcony and I fell asleep.  I suddenly awoke when I realized I had rolled off the balcony and was falling.  I reached out and miraculously grabbed the railing of the balcony below.  Then this guy (pointing to the first guy) came out to save me, but instead he took his laptop and smashed my fingers!  I fell again but again miraculously landed in a tree.  I was dazed but alive.  Just as I was about to climb down, I looked up and a giant refrigerator fell on me crushing me to death.”

St. Peter looked at the last guy, “and you?”

The third man said, “I don’t know.  I heard my ‘friend’s’ husband come home, so I hid in his giant refrigerator.  Next thing I knew I ended up here.”

The moral:  Things are not always what they seem.  Sometimes the “change” we “hope” for is not the “change” we get.

-Murphy

Obama está loco en la cabeza!

July 10, 2008

It is no secret that I do not like Barack Obama.  Okay so that was an understatement.  But now I’m starting to believe that he might actually be crazy.  He has said some amazing things lately but this really tops it.

Wow–“All weeze can say”  is that English?  This from a man who does not speak spanish.   So according to Obama it should be “required” that all children learn a second language?  His stated reason:  because it is embarassing when Europeans come here and speak English and then we go over there and “all weeeze can say” is one or two phrases?  I really think he might be crazy.

First of all-prior to Obama becoming the nominee, this was still America–where English is the national language.  And for the record, I have known MANY immigrants from Mexico, Japan, and other places that have lived here 10-20 years and still cannot speak English very well and certainly cannot read and write it.

No, Senator, we should not be worried about whether foreigners speak English–because that is their problem.  We should, however be worried about pourous borders allowing millions of illegal immigrants to simply walk over and begin living here illegally.  We should be worried about terrorism on our own soil. We should be worried about our economy and we should be worried about the tax implications of electing an absolute economic idiot to the highest office in the land.

And for our Spanish readers:

Obama no se califica para manejar el trabajo del Presidente de los Estados Unidos. Obama es un elitista que cree que él debe poder hacer cumplir y regular sus opiniones sobre todos los ciudadanos de este país. Obama es un socialista cuyo objetivo principal es autorizar al gobierno mientras que quita energía de la gente. Funcione de este hombre–funcione rápido y difícilmente.
And for you second class English speakers, here is the translation:
Obama is not qualified to handle the job of President of the United States.  Obama is an elitist who believes he should be able to enforce and regulate his views on all the citizens of this Country.  Obama is a socialist whose main goal is to empower government while taking away power from the people.  Run from this man–run fast and hard.

-Murphy

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“Here I Come To Save The Polar Bears!” (not Mighty Mouse)

July 9, 2008


Ahhh, the beautiful site of a Polar Bear slaughteringa baby seal.  Notice how the hue of the blood of the seal mixed with the reflection of blue sea water gives the picture a kind of violet tint.  Nature is a wonderous and magical thing.  But there is evil lurking in these blood-filled waters.  An evil no polar bear, even with his massive strength, can possibly defeat.

Big Oil!  That’s right the money-hungry, greedy, good for nothun’ Republican Controlled Oil Industry.  Somehow Bush and his henchmen were able to con the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service into granting legal protection to seven oil companies in the Chukchi Sea over the next five years should they accidentally harm “small numbers” of polar bears or Pacific walruses while drilling or during other exploratory activities. 

Oh the humanity…er…polar bearanity.

But wait–there is hope for the polar bear harassed by these villans.  In fact there is always hope for the environment because as soon as any industry tries to make an advancement to ease our pain at the pump–there will always be…

The mighty lawsuit.  Yes, the lawsuit–which has brought us such advances as warning labels on McDonald’s coffee to let you know it is actually “hot”, instructions on the back of rat poison that instruct you not to eat it, expensive car emissions systems, no more prayer in schools and constitutional rights to prisoners of war. 

This time–two separate conservation groups have teamed up to sue everyone that has ever lived to stop this “free pass” to Big Oil.  After all, we all know that drilling for oil harms the environment and therefore harasses the polar bear and the walrus.  Just like ANWR–I mean just look at the land region that Republicans insist should be explored for oil: 

Wow!  What a paradise!  I see why we need to be extra cautious there too.

Once again I say “bravo” to the liberals in our Country.  They never dissappoint me.  It had been almost 4 weeks since the authority was given to explore and I thought maybe the followers of the global environmental cult had missed it–but oh, no, they just needed to find a few brave heroes to do the job.  When we think of heroes we may think of soliders, astronauts, firemen, policemen, Ronald Regan but we all know the real heroes of our Country:

LAWYERS!  They know best how to make a Federal Case (literally) out of hanging chads, fatty foods and waterboarding.  Who else will speak for the Polar Bear?  Who else will champion the unheard voice of the walrus?  Paul McCartney?  I don’t think so.  If you want to hear the glorious sound of “coo coo ca choo” then you need a lawyer.  I just hope their lawsuit is in time to save us from lower gas prices in the next 5 years.  I am really hoping to be able to pay $10 a gallon one day so that I will be forced to by a smart car and then be crushed to death in the first minor accident I have on a Texas highway.

(remember, I have a right to be sarcastic about this–I am one of these)  🙂

-Murphy

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Sheila Jackson Lee-A Portrait of Stupidity

July 7, 2008

Well, I must confess, that living in Houston I am saddled with being at least indirectly connected to this wonder of modern congressional idiocy.  Ms. Lee has consistently made herself into an icon for the inane, a model for socialist government and a defender of everything that is NOT freedom.

Today she may have topped herself yet again.  But before we examine her recent move–let’s take a look back at some of her more memorable moments in modern history.  Ms. Lee became a congresswoman in 1995.  Prior to that she had 3 unsuccessful attempts at running for judge in Harris County and finally became a Municipal Judge from 1987-1990.  Yes a traffic court judge!

Then while sitting on the Houston City Council from 1989-1994 she ran for Congress and has been there ever since.

Amazing stuff about Ms. Lee:

1. She Voluteered to Be and Advocate for Elian Gonzalez’s Father:  Remember this photo:

Inselian.jpg

Way to go Shelia!  You really kicked that poor little boy’s butt.

2.  She Got Herself Essentially Banned From Continental Airlines:  Yes for demanding first class on every trip and screaming at airline attendants when they didn’t have the food option she wanted–that got a staffer to quit and got the airline to “suggest” she fly Delta.  I personally know that she doesn’t fly continental much anymore as I sat next to her on a Southwest Airlines flight about 4 years ago.  In her defense, she was pleasant to talk to–(hillariously, we were delayed on the tarmac for 2 hours and she was not too thrilled with that I can tell you).

3.  She Believes that Hurricanes Should Have More African-American Names:  Back in 2003, Ms. Lee was upset that names like Keisha, Jamal and Deshawn were not used to name hurricanes.  She stated, “All racial groups should be represented.”  This is important stuff people.  Why, if the Government doesn’t step in and stop this we will end up with all of these “lily-white” hurricane names-and that is simply unfair.  I for one know that my daughter Allison is very excited that her name is associated with one of the most devastating tropical storms to hit Houston in modern history–taking numerous lives and costing billions of dollars in repairs.  She is THRILLED with that.  (what a monor)

And now…(there are many more–but I don’t want to bore you)-her latest decision is that the United States Congress needs to investigate the Harris County Justice System for civil rights violations and inequalities in the system.  This following the Joe Horn grand jury decision last week.  “With the enormous fractures in the system, until we take a broom and sweep it out, there won’t be evenhanded justice,” she said.

So, I guess the roles of Congress are:

1.  Pass laws

2.  Spend OUR money

3.  Shape Foreign Policy

4.  Investigate local Justice systems to see of they are running properly.

oh and also

5.  Investigate steroid use in Baseball.

Ms. Lee’s comments highlight a much bigger looming problem with our government–the fact that it is becoming more and more powerful.  Remember a democracy is power in the hands of the people–not the few dictators we have elected.  It is NOT the role of the United States Governement to investigate the BP plant explosion (another of her great suggestions), or to steal profits away from the oil industry just because it sounds good or to investigate the Grand Jury system in one County in Texas.

But see–Ms. Lee doesn’t understand Texans–because, frankly she isn’t one.  See Texas was a Republic–it was its own Country–and by God-it wants to be one again.  It is nothing short of Anti-Texas to suggest that the US Government come in and do anything.  But of course, Ms. Lee was born somewhere else–Ms. Lee doesn’t understand Texas’ struggle for independence, she doesn’t understand Texans desire to own their own land and be their own person, because Ms. Lee was born…

 

 

in…

 

 

QUEENS, NEW YORK!!!

   “Get a rope.”

-Murphy

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

FREEDOM: Do We Know What It Is Anymore?

July 3, 2008

I hope you have a wonderful weekend planned with your family or friends to celebrate our Nation’s Birthday.  July 4th is a holiday that some commentators have recently stated should not be celebrated because of the shame America should feel for its place in the World political stage.  Some have said that we cannot celebrate it because of our involvement in a war based on lies.  Some have said that they are not proud of this Country or at least haven’t been proud of it until their spouse began to run for President.  But if you are an American–if you understand the value of being a free person in a free society then you should most definitely celebrate this day.  But what are we celebrating exactly?  What is “FREEDOM?”

Maybe this is freedom:

Okay-so maybe that is too much freedom.  But seriously–how can we define this word?

FREEDOM:  Defined by Dictionary.com to mean:  “The state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement; exemption from external control, interference, regulation; the power to determine action without restraint…the power to exercise choice and make decision without constraint from within or without; autonomy; self-determination.”

The power to determine action without restraint!  What powerful words those are.  As we approach an election year where one candidate in particular is proposing massive programs to further increase our dependence on the government instead of our independence from it–let’s consider what Freedom is and what it is not.

FREEDOM IS: Being able to express your thoughts and ideas without fear of the government restraining such ability.

FREEDOM IS NOT: Regulating our radio airwaves under the cloak of “fairness” to force one view to be diminished so that other views can be heard more.  Nor is it being told that a refusal to see a film that demonizes our troops and our country is a form of censorship when in fact it is a form of free choice and free will.

FREEDOM IS:  Being able to earn a legal living pursuing your personal passion and knowing that at the end of the day you will receive the amount you actually earned.

FREEDOM IS NOT: Having the government take a substantial portion of what you earn and redistribute it among those who did not earn it under the idea that the government is better equipped to be a good steward of YOUR money.  Nor is it being punished for being financially successful by taking away even more of what you earned under the idea that the government knows best how much you “really” need.

FREEDOM IS:  Allowing private entities to make profits and generate income for their employees and shareholders, knowing that if prices are too high, the market will eventually adjust to accommodate the supply and demand of the marketplace.

FREEDOM IS NOT:  Deciding that a particular industry is making “excessive profits” and thereby impose laws directed at certain industries forcing them to take those profits and (not give them to the public) but give them to the government to be redistributed.

FREEDOM IS:  “defined by the ability of citizens to live without government interference.” Ron Paul (okay so I wouldn’t vote for this guy because I think he is kind of a nut–but this quote is right on)

FREEDOM IS NOT:  defined by the ability or desire of the government to interfere with the lives of its citizens.

FREEDOM IS:

The flag

And all the blood, sweat and tears it stands for.  The honor and integrity of our soliders and the death of those who gave their life so that I can worship where and Who I want, so that I can maintain a blog containing my right-wing opinions, so that I can raise my children to be the best they can be and so that I can seize opportunity and make the best life for myself that I am able.

A Gift from God:

It is not given to us by the Government.  The only thing the government can do is take it away.  The government’s job is to protect our freedom–but it has no ability to distribute it, give it, create it or positively affect it other than to protect it.  It doesn’t come from Obama or McCain or anyone else–Freedom is God’s Heavenly gift to us. 

Not Easily Obtained or Held, but Easily Lost:

It has taken many lives from Bunker Hill to Iwo Jima to Normandy to Korea to Vietnam to Iraq and beyond to obtain and maintain our freedoms.  Many seek to destroy those freedoms, many seek to cast us into a pit of dependence and imprisonment.  It was 40 years ago that a militant Muslim angry with our alliance with Israel shot and killed Robert Kennedy.  Yes, terrorism began a long time ago and is still present today.  So, this 4th of July I will say a long prayer for our troops.  A prayer for their safety and thanks for their continued dilligence even in the face of would-be leaders who criticize them and belittle their efforts.

Finally-it is Freedom that allows you and I to disagree openly about politics, religion, the quality of the recent Indiana Jones movie.  It is Freedom that allows me to worship at a Baptist Church and allows Americans, yes Americans to worship in a Mosque as well.  It is Freedom that allows me to chose my profession and change it completely if I want to.  It is Freedom that allows us to use our brains and make a wise decision about the future of our wonderful Nation, and the future of Freedom itself.

Don’t go into this weekend with any other thought than to give thanks and praise for the greatest Nation in the World and the heart of its people.  And please, don’t go into the ballot boxes in November with any other concern than how your vote may affect the future of Freedom for you and all of us.

 

Happy 4th of July!

-Murphy

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