Archive for March 2008

We Are Obviously In A Recession–And It’s Bush’s Fault.

March 27, 2008

For weeks we keep hearing stories of how we are in a recession or heading to a recession.  I have tried to be the dutiful conservative and deny the truth of these horrible predictions and allegations but I cannot hide behind my wall of optimism any longer.  Hillary and Obama are right–we are in a recession.  Obama blames Bush for his tax cuts causing a recession, Hillary proposed a $70 billion dollar stimulus package (what does she know about stimulus?).  But maybe they are right.

 How do we know?  Is $3-$4 gas enough to realize we are in a recession?  How about the housing market and sub-prime mortgages and foreclosures?  I think the way you know is by looking at the news.  Here is my proof that a recession is actually going on:

1.  People Stealing From God On Easter

Apparently, in Connecticut the recession has hit so hard that a man decided to steal rain gutters from a Church during Easter services.  If you are willing to test the durability of your soul by stealing from a Church on Easter weekend–then you must be a victim of a recession.

2.  Children Deciding On Crime As An Alternative

In Palm Beach, Florida a couple of children who were apparently “Left Behind” decided that since there is no future employment for them in a recession filled world they would begin a life of crime early.  So in their brilliance they decided to rob a police station.   But of course, if it wasn’t for the failed policies of the Bush Administration, and the obvious failure of the No Child Left Behind Act-none of this would have happened.  Don’t go blaming the parents–it takes a village you know.

3.  Detroit Still Sucks

ALT

No I’m not talking about the Lions or the Tigers (or the bears oh my!) or even the Red Wings.  No I’m talking about the city of Detroit.  It is awful.  In January it was ONCE AGAIN ranked as the most miserable city in America.  And of course, as the “motor city” continues to stink all signs point to a recession.  NO it’s not the failed mega-taxes of the State of Michigan both State wide and locally, no it isn’t the inability of GM to compete with foreign made cars, no it isn’t the liberal mayor or the lack of any incentive for big business to go there–no it’s because of Bush.  After all, how many cars has he bought since becoming President?  Probably none.  And of course, Detroit has a large minority population and we know from Katrina that Bush hates African Americans so do the fuzzy math.

4. Saw V and Saw VI

 

So Hollywood, in light of the current suicidal mood of our Nation since we are in a recession, has decided to allow Lionsgate to film Saw V and Saw VI as back to back sequels.  Obviously this is a strong indicator that we are in a recession.  See, because of Bush and the economic polices of failure, we would rather be hacked up by strange devices and games set in motion by a psychotic killer than go to work each day to earn less than we need to survive.  Therefore, movies like this are appealling, even though we cannot possibly afford to go see them.  Instead we go to Manhattan and find a dealer selling bootleg DVD’s for $5 and then we watch it at home on a TV that doesn’t have digital capabilities and will thus be obsolete in a year.  Oh the humanity.

So, take heart, you are correct that we are in fact in a recession.  I apologize for being an optimist at any time in the past and promise to be as negative as possible so that I can do my part to contribute to the downturn of our economy and our Nation.  My first act of pessimism–I’ll cast a vote for Ralph Nader.  (ha-kidding)

-Murphy

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I’m Voting For the Belmont Basketball Team for President

March 21, 2008

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As you may have heard, last night the men of Belmont nearly rose up and defeated the #2 seed Duke.  Unfortunately they did not prevail with Duke edging them in the last few seconds 71-70.  However, as I watched this game it occurred to me that the Belmont team would make a great President.

1.  First-they were in a war that most people had decided they could not win.  Only 2% of Vegas betters had Belmont winning the game.  Nevertheless, they continued to fight hard all the way to the end, never showing any signs of defeat or signs that they believed they could not win.

2.  They played with class–they did not criticize Duke or try and belittle them as a way of making their point, they simply rose to the occassion, played better than they were expected to and showed class and stamina.

3.  They didn’t race bait–they never pointed out how “white” Duke was compared to them or how they were being oppressed by Duke or how Duke was playing a race card to get ahead.  They simply met them on the floor man to man and out-played them most of the game.

4.  They are not any more or less experienced than either Democrat candidate, nor or they any less qualified.  As for McCain–well he does have them beat on that–but they are much younger so there’s that.

In the end, the team I wanted didn’t win.  The difference–in the Fall the candidate with the most credibility, experience, stamina and integrity will win the most coveted office in Government in the World.  Sorry Obama–better luck next time.

Have a great and wonderful Easter–or at least one better than this kid:  (note to Parents–if the Easter bunny resembles the love child of Satan and Steven Tyler–probably going to make your kid cry) 

-Murphy

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Interview With An Obama Supporter

March 18, 2008

Well, I continue to be amazed at the support this man has obtained.  I know there is a lot of Bush-hatin’ goin’ on out there–but so many people are ready to throw their freedoms away to a leader willing to expand government intrusion into our lives and suck away millions more $ from our pockets in the form of higher taxes, expand entitlements for the “poor” and tax the producers thereby discouraging production and innovation.  And this is amazing–so I thought I’d send out a senior level of my staff here at Murphy Klasing’s Conservative Blog to interview a few Obama supporters and find out the truth behind their robotic praise of this man.

 Here is what we found:

(First to the guy on the left):  “So tell us, why are you supporting Obama for President?”

Jethro: “Because Obama stands for Change and for Hope and for the Future and we need Change and Hope in the Future because right now is the present and we stand here without Hope or even Hope for Change in the present because it is already here.”

“Okay, but what type of Change is he proposing that you support?”

Jethro: “The kind of Change that brings Hope to the Future.  You see, in the Future we must have Change because without it there will be no Hope.  If we live in the Future without Hope, then we will be the same….and…look at me, I need change.”

“Um, okay, let’s see what you have to say.”  (Turning to the middle guy)

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 “So, you seem to be pretty gung-ho about Obama, with the face shirt and all, what do you consider Obama’s greatest accomplishment so far?”

Monty“Well, he stayed in the race for President when he was initially losing to that white chick.  Ummm…oh, and he has developed a plan for the Future.”

“Well, I meant what accomplishments does he have prior to running for President that qualifies him for such a high position in the World?”

Monty: “Oh, well, I just started liking him when he started running so I’m not sure, but someone on your blog said he had been a community leader once and he taught at a law school or somthing but the thing is, he knows the Future because he has had Hope for it and that Hope means that he can Change the Future…which is good because right now the Future is bad news with all the gas prices and the war that Bush and Halibut started.”

“You mean Halliburton?”

Monty:  “Yeah, that company that Cheney is running.”

“You realize, don’t you that Cheney is the Vice-President?”

Monty:  “Really?  I thought he was like the CEO or CFO or whatever.”

“Well, we are getting off track, let’s talk to our last supporter.”

(turning to the guy on the right) 

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“I see you’ve been given your indoctrination papers, er… your Obama support package, can you tell me does it trouble you that Obama continues to stand behind a Preacher who spews hate-filled, racist, anti-American sentiment from the pulpit?”

Mike: “Look here, I’m not gonna be trapped into some right-wing nut jobs’ idea of a “fair and balanced” interview–if you want to talk about the issues, I’m happy to discuss them.  First, Obama is a man who understands Change.  He understands it and therefore can bring it.  Second, he understands Hope.  He understands it and therefore he can raise it.  Third, he understands the Future.  He understands it therefore he can make it.  You want me to repeat that?”

“No, I think I got it, but can you tell me what the *$#&@ that means?  I mean seriously what kind of Change, What kind of Hope and what is his vision for the Future?”

Mike:  “I think you need to get off my porch right now.  If you cannot understand the kind of Hope and Change he can bring to the Future, then you obviously have your head stuck in a pile of garbage being fed to you by Rush and Hannity.”

“Okay, but wait, one more question, how does he differ philisophically from Hillary?”

Mike: “I guess you are blind.  He is not a Clinton, he is not a woman, and he is not white.”

“Oh, but his grandmother was white…”

Mike: “Get off my porch.”

-Murphy

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Obama Quoted–Here He Is In All His Magical Glory!

March 17, 2008

 

Recently I’ve posted some comments about Obama and had some individuals challenge my posts as being ridiculous on various levels.  Now, I’ve tried to hide my true feelings about liberals–can’t you tell from the title of my blog?  And yet, liberals continue to come in and attempt to convince me that I’m wrong.  Which is funny.  I go to some liberal blogs from time to time (I can only stay on them for 10 minutes because after that my monitor begins to melt–in an eco-friendly way, however, but nevertheless melt) and although I sometimes post a comment–it is always light-hearted and I admit my radical right-wing position up front.  The comments I’ve received are filled with a tinge of animosity and cult-like frothing in defense of this great Senator.

 Some have challenged me to explain why I don’t like Obama–I think I have made it clear in various posts that I don’t like him generally because he is the most liberal man (or woman) to run for President.  But I decided to post some of his quotes and let them speak for themselves.  After all, why should I try and convince you he is a liberal, pro-abortion, pro-government, anti-American, socialist who is not qualified to lead this Nation when his own words speak much louder.  Take a look:

 (WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING QUOTES ARE REAL!  THEY MAY CONTAIN NONSENSICAL RAMBLINGS, EVIDENCE OF PURE SOCIALISM, AND ANTI-FAMILY VALUES!  PLEASE ESCORT THE CHILDREN AND THE RADICAL LEFT FROM THE ROOM, TAKE A DRAMAMINE AND HOLD ON)

1. If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.” 

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How very profound—if you keep walking you will make progress–I’m in awe!

2. We have real enemies in the world. These enemies must be found. They must be pursued and they must be defeated.” 

Where are we looking Obama?  Are they hidden?  I don’t think so.  But what we don’t know are the “enemies” he is talking about.  Seems to me Obama may mean:  Big businesses, rich people, lower taxes, pro-lifers, the military, capitalism, etc…

 3.  We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent.”

Cool–very new age.  Instead of working hard to become excellent, maybe I can just imagine excellence while the government hands me more entitlements–that sounds awesome dude!

4. We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and have gay friends in the Red States.”

Do what???  I know there is a connection between God, the FBI, Little League and Gay Friends, but I’m not sure what it is…and so is he saying that Democrats (if that is the “we”) worship God in their left-leaning states, are angry at the FBI’s invovlement in libraries in Republican States, coach little league in their states and have gay friends in Republican States?  And if so, does that mean that the average wind speed of an European swallow is greater than other swallows?  These are important things to point out.  This picture trys to capture some of his thoughts, but hard to find one to capture all of them:

(Still Stacy:  This picture is for you since it is Monday)

5.  A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, ‘Huh. It works. It makes sense.'”

He captures my thoughts on legislation perfectly.  Really–just perfectly.

6. I cannot swallow whole the view of Lincoln as the Great Emancipator.”

You gotta say–its takes guts for a candidate to attack President Lincoln.  But what does he mean–he cannot swallow the whole view of Lincoln as an Emancipator.  Why not?  That is one of the many great things he is known for.  Oh, I know–because Lincoln was a Republican and we all know that all Republicans are RACIST.  Sorry–my bad.

7.I believe in keeping guns out of our inner cities, and that our leaders must say so in the face of the gun manfuacturer’s lobby.”

Okay-so maybe this picture is a bit extreme–but seriously–how many times must we have this argument–but I suppose the 2nd amendment is no real stumbling block to Obama–maybe he could sneak into the National Archives when he is President and simply cut it out of the constitution and then blame Bush for defacing the Constitution.

8. If condoms and potentially microbicides can prevent millions of deaths [from AIDS], they should be made more widely available. I know that there are those who, out of sincere religious conviction, oppose such measures. And with these folks, I must respectfully but unequivocally disagree.”

Hmmm…maybe under Obama we can expect to see this site at all of our High School and Middle School campuses throughout the nation:

And people wonder why so many parents are homeschooling their kids.  But seriously, he has a point–why stop at condoms–let’s pass out free prescription medications for all people who are sick and free healthy meals for all of those who are fat and need healthy food and free diapers and free and free and free and free……………….

Goodbye Middle Class!  It has been great knowing you.  But hey don’t worry–where Obama closes a door he always has a handout to make up for it.

-Murphy

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PS.  I’m throwing this picture in for kicks:

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Judging Obama By His Preacher–At Least He Isn’t A Branch Davidian

March 14, 2008

Obama’s preacher has gone “off the reservation” so to speak and conservatives and talk-show hosts are imputing his words to Obama.  Is that fair? I mean just because Obama has been a member of this church for 20 years, has attended regularly, was married there–does that mean that he thinks that America is the real terrorist, that Hillary is not qualified to represent African Americans because of the color of her skin.  To figure this out lets view the tape first:

Now-the argument is that if Obama didn’t believe these things and didn’t support these statements then he wouldn’t continue to attend this church.  Obama supporters say things like, ” I don’t always agree with my pastor/rabbi.”  Yes, but not agreeing with him on some statement is one thing, attending a church where the pastor is clearly a racist and a RAGING liberal and believer in the “we caused 9/11” seems to indicate that you are not so offended by these statements that you think you should leave.  That is disturbing.

But wait, you say, let’s be fair.  Is it fair to judge a person’s beliefs by the organizations he joins?  Surely not–why that’s simply ridiculous.  For example, surely you wouldn’t judge a person who was a member of organizations like these or followed leaders like this:

1.  Waco / Branch Davidians

(for those of you in East Texas–this is David Koresh)

2.  Casper the Friendly Ghost Fan Club

 

3.  NAG-National Association of Gals

 4. Door to Door People Dressed in White

 

5.  Scientologists

6.  Red Guys

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How silly of you conservatives out there–judging a person’s beliefs by the organization he has spent 20 years of his life attending.  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  Nobody thinks anything of people that belong to the groups I’ve listed above so why should you purposely single out Obama?

Now go home, realizing the error in your ways and know that you can join whatever church or organization you want and you can listen to the preacher, rabbi or speaker of that organization for 20 years and no one will think anything of it.  After all–we need change in our Country–we need the kind of change that will allow a person to have radical anti-American beliefs but be able to deny them when it is convenient.  Plausible Deniability–that is real change for America.  (Hollywood’s been doing it for years–its about time we joined them)

 -Murphy

UPDATE:  This Morning Obama Defends His Association with His PastorAmazingly, Obama, the man asking us to put him in the White House to Lead 300+ million people, to be the Commander in Chief of our Armed Forces, stood up condemning some of the rhetoric of his pastor, but continuing to defend his ongoing relationship with him.  Obama stated: “As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. … I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother.”

Well, at least we know that if asked to make tough decisions that require him to stand on principle, integrity and conviction that he will do about as good a job at that as Charlie Brown would.  Imagine how this man would respond to a 9/11-like attack.  Wow–we are really in trouble.

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104 Posts! Thanks A Million!

March 13, 2008

 

True to form I accidentally blew right past post 100 and this is technically post 104.  I must say thanks to any and all who stop by whether regularly or often–you are encouraging me to continue my selfish habit of ranting and raving online.  After 103 posts I ask myself, “Self, why are you doing this?”

Self:  “Well frankly, I enjoy it and I hope that at times I am entertaining a little as well as informing a little about the crazy liberal activity in our world.  My real hope is that through the use of alleged humor I can convey the ridiculousness of some liberal ideas–like bigger government and more regulation and security vs. freedom and life vs. choice etc…”

Me: “Well self, good luck with that–in the meantime you might want to check in on your job, wife and kids–they claim that haven’t seen you since post 10”

Self:  “Ooops!”

Thanks to all –and special shout outs to Laurie Kendrick–who continues to encourage and inspire, Pistol Pete-for the same and for posting an interview of me today–check it out and then visit his site often–it is great, to Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama for their continued fight which has inspired many a post, to all my side bar blog rollers who I visit daily and encourage you to do the same, to Hollywood-for your myopic view of the world (it is so funny) and to the guys at Nose On Your Face–who are constantly tempting me to cross the line–man they are funny!

-Murphy

Mary Ann, Pot, and The End of The World!

March 13, 2008

Just when I thought the world couldn’t get any worse–it did.  I mean we have had to endure Obama vs. Clinton day in and day out, with Obama saying he is for Change without defining what that means and Clinton saying he would make a good VP when she is behind him in the race–and if that wasn’t enough, Governor Spitzer drags his poor wife onto a stage so she can be humiliated in front of the world while he apologizes for getting caught with a prostitute.

But wait that is not the worst of it–there’s more, Oil is up to $110 a barrell, gas is therefore hitting $3.50 in some states, then there’s Astros spring training  but wait…

Then the worst of it all happened today–our sweet, cute, precious little pie maker got caught with pot at age 69!  Apparently she pled guilty in late February to a charge of reckless driving and the pot possession charge was dropped as part of a plea agreement.  Oh Mary Ann, why?  Why I ask you? 

Here she is– but remember the way she used to be?  Before she was added to celebrity mug-shot row?

I mean, after all, for years I’ve answered the same juvenille, male-bonding, testosterone pumping, middle school question with an affirmative “Mary Ann obviously.”  You know the question…

 Ginger was supposed to be the hot, sexy movie star–but most guys agree-Mary Ann was really hotter.

So what has the world come to?  Is Armageddon right around the corner?  Do I have no childhood “heroes” left?  Will I turn on the radio tomorrow to hear that Linda Carter had enhancement surgery?

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Or that Bo and Luke Duke are gay?

Or that Kristi McNichol is no longer foxy?

Or is Mary Ann’s reckless behavior another symptom of a society that, along with the cult-like following of a man who stands for great verbs without any substance, and the lack of respect for the family, for integrity, for loyalty and for common decency shown by our various political leaders, is slowly begging for socialist policies, begging for entitlements, begging for higher taxes and begging to kill conservatism?

Let’s hope that is not what is happening–or Lord help us all.

(this post brought to you by the “I hope McCain Chooses a Running Mate that Is Actually a REAL Conservative” foundation)

-Murphy