Please Help Me Interpret These Useful Signs

For a break in politics I need your help.  Maybe you could let me know what your ideas are for what these road signs mean.  I have collected these over the years from various sites and find them intriguing.  It is an example of local, state and Federal government (from the US and abroad) believing that you are too stupid to properly function in society.  I’ve given my belief on their meaning but am open to all suggestions–just in case I ever actually encounter such signs.

 1.  503702786_1fe78e4182.jpeg

There shall be no grown men holding the hands of young girls.

2. 554586154_72a1bb0aac.jpeg

In Russia women with ponytails cannot play golf with chiseled men.

3. 554880733_ff11bded61.jpeg

Allowed forms of playtime in all San Francisco area parks.

4.678403381_8c92154786.jpeg

Warning:  Car Bomb area. 

5. 703714120_fefb88cdc4.jpeg

Designated area for feeding your young daughter to alligators.

6.  1056923545_1eb46d8f89.jpeg

Caution:  When falling from our building you may have hot coffee poured on your crotch on the way down.

7. 767129124_c79ced1c45.jpeg 

It shall be prohibited for the hand of God to throw a baby next to a car.

8. no-excretory-functioning.jpeg

Urinating in front of someone who is trying to “do #2” is prohibited.

All help would be appreciated.

 -Murphy (still in seattle-still going nuts)

Explore posts in the same categories: funny, Humor, Life, Thoughts on the World

10 Comments on “Please Help Me Interpret These Useful Signs”

  1. yojoe Says:

    It is obviously a crocodile.

  2. mklasing Says:

    my bad–you are so right.

  3. kristiane Says:

    Seattle, eh? What’s there?

  4. mklasing Says:

    I’m back in Houston now–had to spend 4 days up there taking some depositions in a case I’m working on. It was killing me being so close to the mountains but not being able to get away to ski–not even once. I know—poor me. 😉

  5. pistolpete Says:

    The San Francisco park one is a classic. I would only change it from “allowed” to “recommended forms of play in San Francisco parks”.

  6. Nigel Says:

    In Seattle? Get the hell out before you slit your wrists please…

    #1 is clearly “no Mohammeds allowed”…

  7. mklasing Says:

    Nigel: HAHAHAHAHA–you know, you are going to have to appear before the Canadian Board of Decency or whatever for that comment. I’m happy to report that I set the razor blade down and got on a plane back to Houston Friday Morning. Whew, that was close!


  8. Number 3 was obviously commissioned by the ACLU.

    Their whole stance on PRIVATE sex in PUBLIC bathrooms has reinforced the idea that my sons will be using the ladies room with me for a few more years.


  9. I blogged about a sign I photographed right here in our beloved Houston.

    Road Humping!

  10. mklasing Says:

    That’s funny–I hate those road humps by the way–but, did you know that if you take them at about 60mph, your car glides right over them. 🙂


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