Instead of Taxing Babies, How About Taxing CapriSun?
SAN FRANCISCO (KCBS) — For years, the idea of taxing soda to beat back obesity has been tossed around in medical circles. But now, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom is proposing a tax on beverages high in fructose corn syrup. Newsom says obesity accounts for tens of millions of dollars in city health care costs. He cites a recent San Francisco Health Department survey that found nearly a quarter of the city’s 5th, 7th and 9th graders were overweight and that high sugar drinks make up a tenth of a kid’s daily calorie count. Newsom reportedly wants all big box retailers and chain drug stores to pay into his new “Shape up San Francisco” program, which started this past summer with a walking regimen. This comes as the state of California is considering slapping caffeine-infused sodas, and energy drinks with warning labels, saying consumption can contribute to diabetes.
Obviously, in San Francisco, the mayor cares more about the little children than do their own parents. I mean isn’t that the message here–if you parents aren’t going to quit allowing your child to drink Capri Sun then by golly we will just tax you until you comply.
Taxes like this always amuse me because we all know how Government works–here is the order:
1. Create a shiny new, fun and exciting tax.
2. Create a beauracracy to collect and enforce the shiny new tax.
3. Use the tax to pay for the beauracracy.
4. Realize you have some money left over–jump for joy, payoff your lobbyists and then…
5. Create a new and wonderful entitlement program that will be funded by the leftovers from the shiny new tax.
I like to call this the cycle of bull. See, first the mayor says, “I just want to save the children by punishing the evil parents who buy junk food and the evil companies who make it.” Then, after about 3 minutes, the 5 steps are put in place and completed–suddenly the Government now NEEDS people to continue to buy more and more sugary foods so that they will pay the taxes so that the new entitlement program can be funded. Can you spell H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y ?
For a lengthly list of what products this law might include see the Accidental Hedonists Blog Article. Much to my horror, some of my favorites are on the list like Starbucks Frappacino (blech!).
This mayor is being way to “conservative” in his thought process though. If he wants to tax things that harm children, he shouldn’t stop there. I think he should tax the following items as well because after all–we need to protect the children!
1. Any parent who allows a child to see one of his movies should be taxed–and Pee-Wee should be taxed himself.
2. Any parent who allows their child to visit Neverland Ranch should be taxed and Michael should be taxed himself.
4. Lindsay should be taxed for being bad for kids. See–kids see this:
and then they think she is so cool and then they google her and see this:
5. Just the concerts are harmful–to parents first because the tickets are impossible to get and after being online for an hour trying to wedge into a ticketmaster site to buy 2 tickets and ultimately being booted off the system only to face the sad teary eyed mug of your young daughter, the parents are so stressed that they have to go to therapy–that, of course, ultimately leads to being told that all of your anxiety comes from your childhood and the fact that your mother abandoned you emotionally which, of course, leads to heavy medications, the cost of which is not covered by your employer’s cheap-butt health insurance plan, which of course, leads to less money to spend on healthy things for your kids like carrots and granola. So let’s tax Hannah.
6. Yep, let’s just tax Gavin Newsom–let’s make him pay a tax everytime he opens his liberal, government expanding grill. Let’s tax him for suggesting ideas of how people’s lives can be controlled by his brilliant vision of the future. Thank you Father Newsom for protecting all the little children from Sprite and Capri Sun and Kool-Aid because we all know that in San Francisco, our children will fare much better if they drink less sugar and instead, get outside and enjoy a wholesome parade like this one from last summer:
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