I Feel the Need—The Need for Speed!

Well today a piece of news caught my eye.  Apparently  Tim Brady, the “fastest motorist ever caught speeding in Britain” was sentenced to 10 weeks in jail for driving 172 mph near Abingdon in Oxfordshire in January of this year. 

Now that is impressive.  I admit that I have a lead foot at times and some have accused me of having a personalized parking spot at the Houston Municipal Courts Building, but 172!!  Now 10 weeks seems a bit harsh, after all, Lindsey Lohan received less for multiple drug and alcohol related offenses.  Keifer Sutherland was arrested yesterday for DUI and I bet he gets less than 10 weeks.  And yet, Britain does not have the death penalty and in some areas has legallized marijuana.  But by golly, if you speed that much you are going to get the book thrown at you.

Why is it that police officers always ask you “Do you know why I pulled you over?”  I hate that question.  It makes me feel like a mush-mouthed idiot.  I always know it is coming and I am a lawyer after all-surely I’ll come up with something great like:

 “Because you think my wife is hot and you wanted to get a better look.” or

“Because you are lost and I had a look of determination–like I really knew where I was headed.” or

“Because you didn’t do so well at the academy so they put you on traffic duty and you are bored and wondered if I had some gum.”

 But instead I always say either (depending on how fast I was really going): 1.” I have no idea, is something wrong?” (duh) or 2. “Yeah, I was probably speeding.”  That is when I know I’ve no chance to sweet-talk my way out of this.  I’m always courteous though–and that has given some officers the notion of giving me a warning–although rarely.

 My suggestion–be nice, keep your hands where he/she can see them, do not pull out any cash, do not cuss, do not slam your car door and do not admit anything, but don’t lie either.  And never say, “I bet you pulled me over because I’ve been drinking and I just finished taking some hard core drugs and that makes it dangerous for me to be hauling all of these illegal aliens over the border in my trunk.”  That would be a definite no-no.


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