Quran: To Burn or Not To Burn—Is That The Question?

Posted September 8, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1, Current Events, Democrats, God, Government, Life, Military, News, Patriotism, Politics, Terrorists, Thoughts on the World

Am I the only person shocked at the MASS of news coverage this is getting?  I am sitting in an Airport in Charleston, West Virginia and I have had the unfortunate pleasure of watching CNN for an hour and I think that 58 minutes of that hour was spent covering this issue.  They have had “religious experts” on and other similarly-situated goof-balls talking about this scheduled event.  So after trying to ignore this story, I have been forced to consider its relevance and ask myself what I think about the idea of burning 200+ Qurans on 9/11.  And I gotta say it brought up a lot of other issues.

But let’s start with the first issue–Burn?  or Not Burn?   Personally, I think that burning Qurans is a savage-like form of protesting and is being done for no other reason than to incite anger in others.  That said, do I think he has the right to burn them?–You betcha.  Do I agree with this form of “protest” or “statement?”  No, but I must say that all of this talk on television and blogs about whether Pastor Jones should be prohibited from burning them makes me think of similar situations that were treated with much more tolerance.  And after all democrats, isn’t “tolerance” one of your favorite words?  Shouldn’t you be just as “tolerant” of this activity as say:

The burning of American Flags?

Why the Supreme Court in Texas vs. Johnson  in 1989 upheld every person’s constitutionaly protected right to burn American Flags.  When Congress tried to pass a law in protest of this decision making it illegal, the Supreme Court struck again and upheld its previous ruling.  Of course, the flag burning in Texas occurred at the 1984 Republican National Convention by people outside that were umm…not Republican.  Since then numerous bills have been proposed to the Constitution to make the burning of a flag illegal but alas, the bill can never seem to pass the Senate.

How about desecrating the Flag?  How about burning images of George W. Bush?  Those things are all things the left champions as “free speech.”  Isn’t burning a book, even a religious book, a form of “expression.” But wait…

What about prayer in schools?  Well of course that is offensive.

What about roadside crosses, “in God we Trust,”  creationism, Nativity scenes—-All of that is “offenisve” and there are movements to do away with such horrible icons of a predominantly Christian society.  And of course, we can’t have Bibles in Courtrooms–that is simply nuts.  These forms of expression are somehow different, they are, um…different because um….well….um…. they just are apparently.

I’m continually amazed at the onslaught against Christianity from people playing the “I’m offended” card when those same people are saying that burning a Quran is simply outrageous.  And so, here we are debating over and over whether Pastor Jones should be stopped.

Hillariously we are told by CNN that this pastor–of a church in, where is that again…Gainesville, Florida..That this pastor of a church of, how many people…oh yeah, 50, is causing an enormous amount of hatred, dissent and division in our society.

 

Really???  Could it be that our National Media is causing the division, hatred and dissent?  Could it be that but for CNN, MSNBC, FOX, CBS, ABC and NBC that this event would have largely gone unnoticed except in Gainesville, Florida?  So thank you media for causing the problem and then blaming Pastor Jones.

I have a brilliant idea–it is kind of radical.  Let’s remember the lives lost and sacrifices made on 9/11 in a different way.  Instead of causing a First Amendment battle which necessarily causes the left to become hypocritical–let’s do one or more of the following:

1.  Thank our servicemen and women everytime we see them for the incredible sacrifice they make and have made.

2.  Spend time in prayer for those families that lost loved ones 9 years ago.

3.  Never forget that the battle against terrorism is not won overnight and will need our patience, dilligence and resolve.

and for the love of all….

4.  Elect members of Congress and Presidents that respect and stand in awe of our Military and are willing to spend our tax money protecting our borders and strengthening our Armed Forces instead of taking over our domestic industry and creating billions of dollars of entitlement programs.

That would go a lot further than a burning pile of Quran embers outside of a small church in Florida.

-Murphy

Arizona’s New National Guard Troops–And Other “Fair” Fights.

Posted September 2, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Government, Immigration, Life, News, Obama, Satire

Well, it would appear that the United States Government is jumping at the chance to assist Arizona in its battle against illegal immigration.  I know, I said it… “ILLEGAL.”  I’m sorry, let me be more sensitive. 

Well, it would appear that the United States Government is jumping at the chance to assist Arizona in its quest to find an amicable solution to the issues surrounding undocumented workers that are simply trying to find a better life away from their oppressors in Mexico. 

(I just threw up in my mouth a little)

Arizona asked the government for 3,000 National Guard troops to assist them.  The response? 

30!

That’s right a whopping 30!

But that seems fair doesn’t it?  I mean there have been many battles over the years where one side outnumbered the other by such vast numbers and yet, the underdog won.

Take for example the Alamo.

Battle of the Alamo Photograph.jpg

Why that was about 200  men against about 2000 troops and after all they…oh yeah, they all perished.

Well what about the 480 B.C.Battle of Thermopylae?  There 300 Spartans and a few hundred Thespian volunteers and other fought a massive Persian army ranking in the 1000’s.  And they held firm and….oh yeah, they all perished.

Of course, there have been famous battles over the years where the underdog won.  For example, there were at least 2 major battles in the civil war where the confederacy was heavily outnumbered but won the battle nonetheless.   And after all at the end of it all…oh yeah, the Union won the war.

I have a novel idea–I know it may seem radical and crazy, but just think about it for a little bit.  Maybe the Federal Government could actually listen to the “troops on the ground” and send them what they need. 

I know, I know, I’m talking foolishness.  We all know that we are just stupid and the only person who truly knows what we need is mommy and daddy government–and especially Barack “Pookie” Obama.

How can we possibly argue with this guy?  Sorry AZ, you are on your own.

-Murphy

A Call To Ban John Cusack Films–Eh, Why Bother?

Posted September 1, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1

Well, apparently John Cusack’s need to be heard has elevated itself to new lows.  (That sentence is admittedly odd)–In any event, he went on a rampage on Twitter recently saying ” I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS.”

So, is he a Satanist and hopes that they set up headquarters at Fox News for easy access? Or does he want Satanists to kill all of these people?  Either way, weird to call on Satan for assistance in anything.  I mean, when you are looking for help in a situation, asking the father of lies for assistance seems kind of counterproductive.  But I think we get the point of his twit-tweet.

I am all for First Amendment rights.  I think people should be able to say whatever they want to say so long as it doesn’t purposely incite riots or rise to the level of defamation.  However, what the left needs to understand is that there is no Constitutional protection from the consequences your words may bring about. 

I thought about Mr. Cusack in the context of other irrelevant self-proclaimed political figures such as Barbara Streisand, Tim Robbins, Ted Danson and others and his comment ranks number one on the nasty scale.

So what are we to do?  What consequence should he suffer?  Well, the most popular consequence by either the left or the right is to boycott his artistic work.  Hmmmm….artistic work such as this?

1.  Class (1983)

 Wow–he is not even on the poster of this hideous trash.  I can boycott.

2.  Sixteen Candles

Again-not on the poster–in fact his role in this was so small I could simply shut my eyes during those portions–boycott.

3.  Grandview, U.S.A.

Okay this is ridiculous–he has been in these movies, but not big roles–and–seriously–this movie is awful.  Boycott-(mainly because it is a waste of time).
 
Don’t believe me?  Check this out:
 
 
But I digress–in a huge way.  Let’s look at the body of work where he was the “star” of the movie.
 
4.  Better Off Dead
  
 
Ummm, garbage.  Boycott.
 
5.  Hot Pursuit
 
 
Take a look:
 
 
Boycott.
 
6.  A Slew of Garbage
 
Hot Tub Time Machine (Actor and Producer); War, Inc. (huh?); Grace is Gone; The Ice Harvest; Max; 1408; Must Love Dogs; America’s Sweethearts; Pushing Tin; This is My Father; Chicago Cab; City Hall; The Road to Wellville; Bullets Over Broadway; Floundering; Money for Nothing; Map of the Human Heart; Shadows and Fog; Roadside Prophets; etc….
 
So this is an easy call–no Boycott–the public boycotts most of this already because it is not good.
 
So John, thanks for 2012 and Say Anything and maybe Martian Child, and keep ranting about Satan and the Republicans if you want to, nobody cares.
 
-Murphy

Obama Calls Bush Before Troop Speech: But why?

Posted August 31, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1, Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Fascism, Government, Iraq, Military, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Terrorists

According to the New York Post, Obama made a call to former President George W. Bush today from Air Force One while heading to Ft. Bliss to address the troops regarding the Iraq troop withdrawal.  But why would he do this?

I suppose there are various reasons but let’s examine this a little more closely.

I.  Obama’s Catch 22

In today’s speech, Obama finds himself in quite the predicament.  On the one hand he has always said that Iraq was the “wrong war.”  Further, the troop surge, according to then Senator Obama was a huge mistake.  Don’t recall that–let’s take a listen.

But wait, there’s more…In February of this year VP Biden had this to say:

Ummm….wha?

So, how will Obama tell the tale today?  He can’t blast Bush without demeaning the troops objective and essentially admitting defeat.  He can’t praise the troops for winning the war because he thinks the war is wrong.  And so…what did he and President Bush talk about.

Well, we here at MKCB have tapped into the ultra-secret phone line aboard Air Force One to bring you this exclusive phone call–here is the transcript of what we are pretty sure we heard…

[ring, ring, ring]

Bush:  Former President Bush here, miss me yet?

BO:     Umm, heh, umm, no…but umm.. anyway, sorry to bother you at home Mr. Bush, President Barack Obama here, how are you today?

Bush:  [smirking] Well, Barry I kinda thought you might call today.  I’m out at the ranch clearing some trees in the back and remembered something about a self-imposed arbitrary deadline regarding troops that you mentioned last year and figured you would be calling.  What can I do for the American people today?

BO:  Well, as you know I’m giving a speech before Ft. Bliss today and my speech writers are having trouble deciding whether I should praise myself and my leadership in bringing an end to the war, blast you again as I always enjoy doing, mention the needless loss of life in pursuit of oil and your dad’s revenge or all three.  I’m kind of nervous about it [puff, puff] and thought I’d see what you thought.

Bush:  I’d like to say I’m honored, really I’d like to…but, well, it might be a good idea to praise the troops for what they have sacrificed and accomplished, thank them and their families for their sacrifice and service, remind the world that peace in this region of the middle east is vital to our interests, remind the world that a world with out Saddam Hussein is a better world and leave it at that.  But I’m just spitballin’ here.

BO:  Well, I knew this was a waste of time.  You and your right-wing rhetoric.  The problem is I have to find a way to demonize you and the Republicans, make the Democrats look good, appease the anti-military crowd and win over the troops.  And frankly, my speech writers went to Harvard and Columbia and they are just too stupid to figure this out.

Bush:  I’d like to say I really want to help ya, I’d really like to say that…but, well, if you are calling to let me know you are going to demonize me and call me stupid again, thanks for the heads up, but I don’t see the point of this call.

BO:  I guess I just needed to do this and leak it to the press so that they would think I was somehow being nice to you right before I blast you.  Truth is, every time I’m around the military I get scared.  I’m afraid they know how much I loathe them.

Bush:  [smirking] Ohhhh, I’m sure they don’t know.  You just go up there, be yourself, and I’m sure the typical results will follow.  Your poll numbers and the stock market will go down.  Heh, heh!  Just ribbin’ ya Barry–have a great speech.

BO:  Ummm, yeah, okay I guess I…

[click]

BO:  (stupid hick)

-Murphy

Obama: “Things Could Be Worse”

Posted July 1, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: Al Gore, Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Economy, funny, Government, Humor, Nancy Pelosi, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Socialism

Okay first of all–go to minute 47 of this hour long feature film and watch for about a minute–then you are prepared to read on…

So here we have our President saying that the way we know that the stimulus worked is because things could be worse.  And, of course, if you think about it, he is right.  I mean the argument that things could be better without it makes no sense whatsoever because, um… well… it just doesn’t.  Look stop fighting the logic of this administration because you obviously misunderstand the points they are trying to make.

For example, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that unemployment checks are creating jobs.  What?  You don’t get that?  Jeez…do I have to do all the thinking around here?

You see, when unemployed people get money, they spend it.  By spending money they are buying goods that are produced by people.  By buying those goods, people have to be employed to make more.  See?  Unemployment is good for the economy.

So you still don’t get it?  Well  I’ll try and explain it by using some other examples.

  1. Al and Tipper Gore have a good marriage when Al is happy.
  2. Al gets an inappropriate massage to release his shakra so that he can be happy.
  3. Getting an inappropriate massage is good for Al and Tipper’s marriage. 

See?  No?  Let me try another one.

  1. Cooking fish in oil is healthier than cooking fish in butter
  2. BP spilled zillions of barrells of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.
  3. Fish in the Gulf are now covered with oil.
  4. Fish covered in oil can be cooked “as is.”
  5. Spilling oil into the Gulf is healthy.

It is so easy.  Okay 1 more then hopefully you will get it.

  1. Tiger Woods is worth $900 million to $1 billion dollars
  2. Tiger Woods cheated on his wife a billion times.
  3. Tiger Woods’ wife is getting $750 million in the divorce
  4. Cheating worked because her take could have been worse.

Now do you get it?  NO!!???? I give up on you guys, seriously.

-Murphy

Eclipse: An Interview with a Fan!

Posted July 1, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: Al Gore, Current Events, funny, Humor, Life, Movies, Oil, Satire

As your teenagers have told you, Twilight’s latest installment “Eclipse” was released to millions of views at Midnight on Tuesday.  Without commenting on our view of the series or Vampires or which team is liberal or conservative, we here at MKCB decided to interview a moviegoer waiting in line that night to see if all the hype has had an adverse affect on our society.  Here is what we determined:

Meet Mary and Jenna-two fans camping out in line to see “Eclipse” on opening night.

MKCB:   So Mary, I see you have a blanket made out of the movie poster-how did you get that?

Mary:    OMG!  It is so awesome!  I copied the picture off of the internet and took it to Walgreens and had them make this totally awesome blanket–which I so totally needed for tonight’s showing.

Jenna:  Yeah!

MKCB:  And so how long have you been camped out here waiting for the movie to begin?

Mary:  Since October 17 of last year.

Jenna:  Yeah…

MKCB:  Ummm, wow, that is amazing.  You do know don’t you that it will likely be showing all summer and you could probably see it this weekend without much trouble?

Mary:  Shut-up!  What kind of Team Edward player would I be if I didn’t show up and show Edward how loyal I am to him?  What would he think?

Jenna:  Yeah, and what would Team Jacob think?

MKCB:  Probably nothing, because he has no idea you are actually here today.

Mary:  You did not just say that! 

Jenna:  Yeah…whatever…

MKCB:  So how have you been able to survive sitting here for 8 months?

Mary:  Well, I brought a laaaaaaaa lot of chips and cokes and stuff and Jenna and I take turns watching the stuff so we can eat and go to the ladies room and stuff like that…

Jenna: Yeah…

MKCB:  Well have you been keeping up with the news?  What do you think of the oil spill?

Mary:  Dude, they totally cleaned that up years ago before that Palin chick was ever even heard of.

Jenna:  Yeah…

MKCB:  No, I mean the new oil spill.

Mary:  ummmm…. well….

MKCB:  Nevermind, what about the Al Gore sex scandal–have you heard about that?

Mary:  Ewwwwww…. seriously, that is gross and no, I’m so sure that did not happen.

Jenna: Yeah…

MKCB:  Well, enjoy the show, I just wanted you to know that the movie is 126 minutes long so you have been sitting here 2.06 days for each minute of the movie.

Mary:  BOOM!  Dude my brain just exploded.

Jenna: Yeah, mine totally did.

MKCB:  Funny, I don’t see any loose pieces lying around…

Mary:  Whatever.

James Cameron-Latest Helper Turned Away By BP

Posted June 4, 2010 by mklasing
Categories: 1

Well it seems that BP just won’t allow anyone to help them with this oil spill.  Today, James Cameron’s offer to assist with the problem was turned down by BP.  “Those morons don’t know what they are doing,” says Cameron in response to BP’s reluctance to allow him to “dive into” the problem. 

BP must really be short-sighted here.  After all, Mr. Cameron directed Titanic and…he went down in a submarine and actually saw the Titanic.  He actually worked with robot submarines in filming sequences of Titanic and Avatar.  So what is BP’s problem?  Obviously he is qualified to help.

Our newly re-employed sources here at MKCB have uncovered a host of other offers of assistance that have been turned down and we intend to expose them.  It is about time the world knew what other equally helpful offers have been recklessly turned down.

1. KRAMERICA Industries Oil Bladder Idea

Kramer had this great idea for an oil bladder that would hold oil.  He tested it out at a rubber ball company.  BP again took a pass.

2.  Rosie’s Quicker Picker Upper

Rosie has been looking for the ultimate spill to retire on and she has just the answer.  Again, however, the morons at BP “graciously said ‘no.'”

3.  Surf It Up…Dude.

The writers of “surfer” magazine offered to come out and see if they could “surf it” into a big pile for Rosie.  They explained that the ocean is “rad” and they “totally get it.”  Again, BP simply smiled and went about their own hapless efforts.

4.  “I’ll Fix It!”

Finally, our own President Obama has stated that it is his job to fix the oil spill.  He repeatedly states that it is his responsibility, assuring all of us that BP is not doing anything unless it is at HIS direction.  No word from BP yet on allowing BO to step in and cap that thing…

In light of him “fixing” GM, the economy, health care and soon Wall Street, let’s all hope they graciously tell him “no” as well.

-Murphy


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